Male Submissive Searching For Understanding.

I am a male submissive with too many un answered questions.
I do have a thing with wanting control and then wanting to relinquish that control to a Female Dom. Alowing myself to render myself helpless...for her amusment...
Trusting that In doing so, She will know that I am trusting that she will giude me in my realm of unawarenis to satisfiy her Own curiosity in me.
This delecate balance of trust takes time.
Starting slow working up to over the edge and beyond if She feels like it....stretching boundries and making new ones.
The mind set that by relinqishing means just that!
How dose this create itself?
How do I let my gaurd down for the right experience?
How do I let my Dom know what I am seeking and what I am not?
Why am I afraid too experience letting my self indulge in this lifestyle?
I fantasize of this all the time, and know that i would make a true Dom glad to have me, but fear the unkown part of trust....
Should i seek it out or just continue to fantasize?
trashisme trashisme
36-40, M
3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

I've found it is best to find a Domme who can mentor you into the realm of D/s. definitely find some with experience and allow them to instruct you in the things you will need to learn. You will need to be able to have a level of trust with that person that is very high or you will never learn from them that which you will need to learn.

Follow RedRubies advice. If there is anyone who is more knowledgeable than her, I don't know who it would be. She is very respectful and an excellent communicator.

Aww Pman, that is so sweet, truly.... there are tons of people more knowledgeable than me; I just try to help in small tidbits when I spot something that interests me! :D

thanks I will listen to Her advice and take it to heart...

Maybe but you really are a great communicator. When one reads your posts, it's almost like you are actually in front of that person. At least for me it is. LOL maybe I'm just fantasizing!!! Common sense is not a shortcoming of yours. To bad we don't have that with some of the people in high places that make important decisions that effect all of our lives!!! Oooops I better stop before I get worked up. I really do like your style though. You're good people!!!

@ RR, I second Pman. I always enjoy your comments whenever I get into one, especially when it goes to subjects like this (D/s). I'm learning a lot through your posts and comments and finding contrasts, blendings with other's.

Aww thanks guys *shy face* , I feel the loooove. Such great people on EP make me happy to be here. Thanks so much :-D

thanks for the complament, I do try hard to understand before i dive in full force....

I do wish to talk more to you Red Rubies to get more insight if that would be ok by you I did read your add me storie so i thought i should check if it would be ok to ask for you to add me so we can communicate more.....

Yes, feel free to add me. I will try to help if I can :)

Thanks sissykristin.
You make me feel good and let me know that I can communicate well.
I knew that I was able but was never told, I like learning from others who have had the experiences. I watched and observed and had good street sence so to speak and not everything can be learned from a book, but from people in everyday situations, similar to yours. thanks again for the great compliment!
Any time I can share let me know.

Also to the others who have made my understanding of myself and of others around me aware that it is ok to be me!
Look forward to more understanding and more learning of my behavior and how to understand how it effects those around me.

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Oooo all good questions! Nice to see a male submissive, too.

Your best bet I think is to learn, learn , learn. Learn about Domination and submission, but more importantly, learn about yourself and what makes YOU tick.

An experienced Dom/Domme will help guide you. As well, many times it's the connection and chemistry between two people that will make the dynamic amazing; it can't be forced.

We all have to trust at a certain point. The issue becomes finding a person who you are comfortable enough with to trust and let go with. This can only be found through discussions and getting to know one another. It takes time to build a solid foundation, as it should. Do NOT submit to the first person you speak to.

Go to a local munch and meet people in your area, if discretion is not an issue for you.

lastly, you let your Domme/Dom know what you are looking for by doing just that: communicating. D/s relationships are very deep and communication is essential. He/she will also instinctively understand you after awhile....that is part of the connection :-)

This is very insightful.
I have been researching for five years and tring to find out why I feel the way I do.
Trusting in my own ability to surrender to a woman fully can be scary if it is not the right fit..
Communication is key to building the trust factor...

I am glad you found it insightful :) I understand the search as well. I think there comes a point that we will not necessarily get additional answers; sexuality is very complex and we should be able to enjoy it.

You are absolutely right about it being scary to surrender if not the right fit. There are a lot of disturbed people who call themselves Dommes/Doms under the guise of wanting someone to treat badly.

I fully support deep communication (even if difficult or awkward sometimes) as this alone gives you trust and helps solidify a strong base from which to build on.

Thank you for your intrest in my search.I will take your advice and hope to understand more..
The mind can be very creative and can solve dilamas when the right info is proseced.

You are most welcome. Coming here was a good start :)

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