Dd, Bdsm And Traditional Roles

Having a DD marriage (or TIH) means the husband leads and disciplines if required. This is how I live and I love it. But I am submissive and kinky. D/s dynamics have always attracted me, both sexually and psychologically. I guess I'm just wired like this. I realized this has little to do with us wanting to meet traditional roles. The fact that we're both straight and that I'm the submissive one is just our particular circumstance.
Sometimes I wonder why conservative ideas about "God's natural order " get mixed up with kinky D/s or BDSM practices. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, or that it's wrong... Just curious I think.

anonimacy anonimacy
36-40, F
6 Responses Jan 12, 2013

I am not interested in DD marriages, but lately I have also a lot of curiosity about this theme. I believe submissive people as you should have this type of marriage, so they better recognize them faults and that need to be remedy.

What makes me glad when this type of couple has the possibility to be happy, because I always think the happiness is one of the most important things in the world, so feel more positive and willing to overcome difficulties, as is the case of this your story that I read it and I liked it very much.

If you want you can add me. Nice to meet you!

I have some thoughts about this..There are so many Bible passages that support men taking the lead in marriage and it does feel so natural. It makes sense that following the natural order would bring out the best in a marriage, we all seem to say we feel greater love and trust and I think that when two people experience that, it also brings out the kink... because we feel safe to explore?

you live in a TiH marriage??? I'd love to email with you

I have chat with others that are TIH and they would not have it any other way.Good for you and enjoy.

Yeah, that's me!!! It's a wonderful agreement if your suited to it ;)

Well I think if you enjoy it then more power to you.I am enjoying your stories too btw.Thanks for sharing.I requested an add,hope I get accepted LOL.My name is Rob.

I never understood the term Taken In Hand, it doesn't seem to have some logical or deeper definition or is it just me?
What's in a word of course, the love of partners is the most important, not the name that's given to that love. :-)

I am not in that type of relationship but i understand what people mean when they use that term.It is for some certainly not for others.She enjoyed being submissive to her husband and that is what it is about.

I know what it is about. ;-) I just don't get the term, those specific words. There seems to be no logical definition attached to it.
Total Power Exchange sounds logical: you completely exchange power, 24/7 lifestyle BDSM makes sense too: you live the BDSM lifestyle 24 hours a week, 7 days a week.
Domestic Discipline even is rather clear in definition, but Taken In Hand? That could be anything.

* 24 hours a day, I mean, of course.

TiH is DD without (usually but not always) the spanking.

Again: I know what it means, I'm no rookie. I just think the term makes no sense.

yes i see what you are saying.I had this gf that always told me she wanted me to take her hand and decide everything for her.She wanted a man to take care of her and be her boss.I think if the term was known to her or I back then it would have been TIH.I miss that girl.

I'm obviously not qualified to discuss linguistic. My english level is not that good, lol. But I understand tIH comes after the English site. Domestic Discipline is sometimes mixed up with religion (CDD). I feel more comfortable with TIH because it implies a straight couple where the male leads. Period.
Mixing a heavily sexual dynamic with religion is somewhat awkward to me. Maybe because I was raised a catholic, and Catholics rarely talk about sex at all, lol.

so true I was raised Catholic as well.

Always welcome to chime in,that is what is great about this site.A thread can be old but revived by new comments.Thanks for adding to the conversation Michelle.

9 More Responses

Man's desire is the strongest force on Earth. Goo with it

Great that you make the distinction, I always get creeped out by people on EP who talk about 'natural order', 'males being born dominant and females born submissive" and "it's women's duty to serve men sexually".
Personal preferences, your own lifestyle and the human condition are miles apart, even claiming "there are more females submissive than dominant, that's proof" doesn't hold up, because there are even more male submissives than female submissives.
I'm glad you're pointing it out, I'm not hanging out in the BDSM groups here myself for this sole reason, but I can agree with someone like you of course. :-)