Why?

why do people choose to have abortions? i understand that sometimes unpleasent situations arise such as rape and therefore they dont want the child but why not have the baby and give it to someone who cannot have one or someone who can love and care for it when you cant?

thank you blackcat i have never thought of it that way.yes i am against abortion but not the person..i have never wanted to ask but this site gives you the chance when in real life and face to face to someone i never would have.....cont with the stories they have really helped me alot so far

littlemommie3 littlemommie3
26-30, F
14 Responses Jul 5, 2007

As someone who has been raped and gotten pregnant from it I thought I would share a bit of insight here...<br />
Many women who are raped do not abort the child, many also do not give it up for adoption... but these are generally the people who recover most quickly from their rape, and the ones the least effected by it... Rape is an awful experience, but like with most things in life different people will react differently to it.<br />
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Personally I have been raped multiple times, I have never gotten an abortion but I lost both of the children.<br />
But what I can say is that for the whole time that I was pregnant I felt like it was still going on... it was lie a constant reminder of what had happened, forever making me look back when all I wanted to do was move past it. In the end I attempted suicide at 17 weeks pregnant... I know that was wrong, but to be honest I don’t really remember that month properly, I was not in a good fr<x>ame of mind... I had been raped on 3 separate occasions by this time, and been beaten on a regular basis to the point of hospitalisation... I honestly thought that I was saving myself and my son from the father... I was almost 17 then...<br />
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I was raped again not long afterwards, and then repeatedly until I got pregnant again... this time I tried to keep the child. But throughout the entire pregnancy... well it almost felt as if he was still inside me... still there... pushing me down... holding me there and violating my body by forcing me to carry his child... At 22 weeks I went into premature labour and my daughter didn’t survive.<br />
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As in any experience different people react differently... looking back I think that with the first child I should have had an abortion... with the second I am not so sure, I felt more able to cope that time than I did the first...

I had an abortion when I was 17. <br />
I worked fast food for $3.10 an hour (1981). I lived in one room and shared the bathroom with 7 people. The pill failed (as it had for my mother). My boyfriend disappeared. My parents could barely feed me when I had lived at home, and my stepdad had made it clear for years that I was unwelcome there. I just couldn't see any chance of being able to feed, house and clothe a child, much less get an education. That's why I had an abortion.<br />
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I know some people will ask if I wished my mom had aborted. <br />
The answer is-often, yes. I have often wanted to find my way out of this world. Fortunately, through the example of kind, compassionate people, I have learned to give meaning to this life by helping others. <br />
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Thank you for reading.

My God... I am so sorry. I can't express enough how much I respect you for having the courage to share your story.<br />
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A forced abortion is probably one of the most terrible things I can imagine. It should be your choice, not an act that you are literally beaten into accepting. I wish that you had been paired with a more skilled counselor who was able to help you, allowing you to open up and share what you were going through. A better counselor would have offered you resources like shelters for abused women, adoption agencies, rape trauma counseling, and assisted you in creating an "escape plan".<br />
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It's absolutely heart-breaking for me to hear stories like yours, but all I can do now is let you know that there is help out there. PM me if you want to talk about some of the options I can offer you.

I can def see your point.. I used to/still agree... I unfortunately did have an abortion... but before you judge please listen to my story.... I had been in an extremely abusive relationship and up until the day he raped me I was very careful using protection every time we were together. Of course as he raped me he refused to put a condom on. SO i became pregnant....... I was undecided whether i wanted to keep it due to the fact that I am on heavy meds for numerous medical conditions and I really did not want to being an innocent into such a situation. However i was unable to decide for myself.... My ex beat me in my stomach and choking me until i agreed to have an abortion..... as we left the clinic he called me a murderer.... I hate myself for doing it but i do think it was better that i did have it or else I may not be alive today. And yes i honestly believe that...... BUT there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about my baby......<br />
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I am open to all thoughts all i ask for is respect

For the couple that cannot conceive I'd like to say you you are so supportive of having a woman carry a baby to term for you there is that option. If you can find someone willing to do it. <br />
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Although trying to guilt someone who chooses to terminate by saying "I wouldn't do that if i could" is kind of juvenile.<br />
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In any case, there are no 'excuses' for an abortions, only very personal 'reasons'. If it's not a reason you'd get one then you won't get it. I'm not aware of any person aside from myself who is more important to me in decision making especially when i have to deal with it for the rest of my life.

ATTN: I am a counselor at a women's reproductive health center where abortion services are offered. Every day, I deal with women facing unwanted pregnancies and help them to understand their options.<br />
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If you want to know why women have abortions, I will certainly tell you...<br />
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An unwanted pregnancy is a horrible thing to face for most women. Some are financially unequipped to raise a child, some are too young, some are in abusive relationships or use drugs. Some women are facing serious medical risks by carrying a pregnancy to term, were raped, or are victims of ******. Some women just aren't ready. There are as many reasons for having an abortion as there are women who have them.<br />
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And to blackcat: As much as I sympathize with your situation, and believe that ANY manipulation or coercion into an abortion is wrong, 99 women out of 100 understand exactly what they are doing. The abortion decision is a serious and involved one, and a good counselor should be able to make sure that every woman is well informed and acting on her own behalf.

did somebody say that the begining of life is some sort of "belief" ?? i will get into this later- this is just making me sick- AND I AM AN ATHIEST DAMMIT.

Well, some people have them because they have no money, no way to support a child. Some do it for birth control. Some do it because it would not be the right thing for them. Some people do it because they don't want to bring a child into the world as it currently is. <br />
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Thankfully we still have the right to choose what goes on with our bodies.<br />
Women should NEVER be told what to do. If you want to terminate a pergnancy it is you business. Every woman/couple has the right to do what is right FOR THEMSELVES!

In my case I would die to be a mother right now. My husband and I can not have children together and before my husband I had a miscarriage. As for abortions, no excuse! People like my husband and myself would do antyhing to carry one child. Non the less, a child is a gift. Not a burden! (Little mommy I support everything you have said in regards to this.)

im doing a speech about abortions and i cant figure out why people have abortions either. of course there are excuses but i havent found any good reasons. Most of those who are raped and end up pregnant have the baby, the percentage of those having abortions because of being raped is very low...and when your raped, your already scarred with the fact of being raped so why would you want to know that you killed your baby. Its also because their pressured or embarassed, but you should take responsibility for your actions.. also some people have abortions because there may be a disease in the family and they dont want their baby suffering their whole life. but yeah thats like saying we should just kill the old and sick too. Another big reason people have abortions is because they dont want to put their baby up for adoption because they'll spend the rest of their life wondering how their babys doing, what kind of BS reason is that? wouldnt you rather know that you loved your baby so much that you gave them to a loving family then knowing that you killed a baby that couldnt defend itself? Another stupid reason is that the world is being over populated... but really the united states isnt over populated at all.. someone is born ever 8 seconds and someone dies every 11 so the population is increasing about 1% per year.. sorry i couldnt answer your question, i figured i could give you something to think about, but my opinion is women and men should take responsibility for their actions and they shouldnt make a short term problem a life long regret.

Women have abortions because they don't want any part of the pregnancy and because they have the right to decide what to do with their bodies. =)

to the last comment i can understand most of what you said and be sympathetic to an extent but as a mother of 3 children and not having planned them all and being in the situation of oh no i have no money no job or im trying to finish school etc. but i feel strongly that the person knew this before they choose to have sex and automatically knows that there is the possobility for pregrnancy so if you know youre not ready to have a child then why willingly put youreself at that risk and i dont understand how ending a life that has just begun is easier than giving the child up

Sometimes the girl is so confused and scared she turns to someone she trusts who she thinks will help.Then that person acts like it is so bad that she is pregnant,tells her that no one will accept it and shun her.Especially if it is a mixed race baby.They then tell her that abortion is the only way.The girl is so lost having heard all this negative stuff, having already been so confused in the first place,and that person keeps her on that single minded path until when it is over the girl realises what she has done.It is not pretty and it causes alot of emotional problems. I know you must not agree with them because of your post,but please remember that sometimes the one getting the abortion does not really want one, and will never be able to forget what she allowed to happen. She has just been taken advantage of emotionally because some jerk does not want responsibility.I know cuz I have been there and I will forever tell all females who ask me to never have one,and forever offer my help to the ones who did.

Different value systems, perhaps. Different beliefs about when life begins? Different values about what a good life constitutes? Different beliefs about the existence of an immortal soul? Childbirth is not without its risk of death (although neither is abortion, but the odds are better with the latter!!).