I Feel Like I'm Finally Waking Up...

I lived in the same small town until I was 20, and then I moved away to the city. I have lived in the city for the past 6 years and in all that time, I have felt like something isn't quite right, like I'm not quite myself. My first couple of years here, I think I tried really hard to leave my old self behind and I tried to make myself into a different person. That didn't work very well, because how can you change who you really are? You can't, at least not without making yourself unhappy. I have been unhappy for a long time. Within the past year I have been trying to become my real self again without much success. Only in the past few months have I regained confidence in myself, and found something in life that I am truly passionate about and I'm working towards making a career for myself in this area. I finally found an apartment that I will live in for more than a year, which makes me feel more grounded. I have gotten rid of negative people. I am still trying to re-fill my social life with positive people. It's not easy, but I would rather have very few friends, than a bunch of rotten ones. I am starting to feel more alive and more like ME.

I felt so disonnected for so many years and now finally I feel like I'm plugged in again. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough; I'm not quite where I need to be, but I can feel that I am SO DAMN CLOSE.

Sunburst Sunburst
Mar 8, 2010