What a Cup of Tea And a Book Can Do to You...

For some reason, a book which accomplished the not-so small feat of actually touching me emotionally and a cup of tea gave me the courage/madness of trying to break free from feelings I've been having for a girl outside of my reach. We're very good friends, and for some time I've been wanting more - there have been intimate moments, but no real relationship to speak of as such.

What seemed to happen as I sat there with the cup of tea in my hand, experiencing a perfect moment of Zen, was that I suddenly decided that I didn't want to be bogged down in my feelings for her, constantly waiting like a loyal lap-dog for her to commit herself to me. I think the feelings still remain, but they're fading. Slowly, but surely, they are eroding. And I'm glad. I'm glad that I've somehow managed to decide to send her an e-mail declaring that friendship was all there was going to be from now on.

If this had been a roleplaying game, I would have been gaining experience for character development. Now, it isn't, but it still feels like I've gained a level.

The part where the book came in, is that it's the book I've read in a long time that's actually made me 'feel'. Somehow I now feel a greater urge to just go out in the world and do just that. Feel.

I'm not making any sense, even to myself, but I'm feeling too good to care.

Have a simply outstanding day.
Snow Snow
18-21, M
1 Response Nov 24, 2006

You made perfect sense :) I'm glad you are paying attention to what you feel and learning how to either enjoy it or get over it! That is a great power