39, Single And Pregnant

so complicated. My youngest daughter is going to be 18 in 5 months and I'm pregnant. I don't think the father would even want to know....long story. I feel alone and scared. True story- I took the pregnancy test and wanted to tell my 17 year old today but before I could she started telling me about these weird baby dreams she's been having. She was joking around when she said to me "mom please don't get pregnant, your just too old to have a baby". But that hurt. In addition to that the babys father thinks I'm intimate with other men because last year we both caught each other out with people from our past. He is the only man I've been sleeping with for the 3 years we've been together even though I know that does not hold true for him. That's a whole show in itself. We have serious trust issues and now I'm pregnant. He comes around once in a while but we are not in any type of defined relationship or committment. I have been hurt by this man many times and couldn't bear hearing him doubt or deny our child. I have no one to talk to about this. Im going to the gyn next week.

One last thing thats really important to know...I'm pro-life. Have very strong convictions about that but in 2010 I got pregnant from him when we were just a few months into our relationhip and he basically did not want me to have it. That decision haunts me. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I love him and want our baby but I'm really scared to start over with a new baby by myself again.

Signed confused. Help!
joann16 joann16
36-40, F
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

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