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I Just Found Out

About two weeks ago I found all the undergarments and nighties, a wig and two semi blown up balloons. First I was in shock and now am trying to accept everything because he is a wonderful man. We have only been dating for six weeks. To show I am trying I bought him some new panties. Is there anyone out there who can shed some light on this.

 

confusedinw confusedinw 56-60, F 9 Responses Dec 5, 2009

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You can let him do his thing and still love him. Take some pictures while he is dressed up. Then hide them and blackmail him into letting you take control of the household. Tell him since he wants to be the girl, then you will be handling the money from now on. Make him do all the house cleaning, laundry and anything you don't like to do.
He will do it, if you tell him your going to show the pictures to his friends. If you have a few girl friends, show them the pictures and tell them all about what he does.
He will be pleading you not to expose him, but you go ahead and bring your girlfriends home and let them see him.
Whala! you will have control of your gurl.

I know this was posted quite awhile ago, but I still wanna share my story quick.. almost 2 years ago I was introduced to a drag queen by a mutual friend (who also did drag) Like most people I assumed he was gay, and we became fast & close friends. It wasn't too long before I learned he was actually bi (although he does tend to lean more towards the gay side) and I of course was developing a crush which I told myself would go nowhere, but figured I'd let myself enjoy the feeling of having a crush on someone (I had been single for about 6 months and was loving the rush of a "high school crush" again). One night I admitted my crush to him, and to my surprise he told me he had the same feelings for me, but was confused by them (understandible, since he hadn't dated a girl in about 10 years) I told him I would wait for him to sort through these feelings, and not to rush anything, and that no matter what we'd always be friends.<br />
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About a couple months later after spending every day together, he made an announcement in front of a few of our friends that he was "coming out of the closet a second time" and we were making things official- we're dating.<br />
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He still does drag on a regular basis. I loved the fact that when he moved in awhile later, my wardrobe doubled (I fit most of his clothes) and he gave me amazing makeup tips. Its been over a year and a half, and Im now engaged and we have not spent one day apart in the entire time. Every day I look forward to seeing him when I come home from work, I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him walk through the door, and my heart still melts when he kisses me goodnight. Whether he's wearing male or female clothes, that doesn't change anything about him, because that's just him. And I get to look forward to a future where I get to spend every day with my best friend, and I will never run out of makeup or hair product again. ;-)

I told my wife I was a crossdresser when we were dating. We were shopping for underwear for her, and I held up a pair of panties and just said, mm, these are nice. She said, do you want to wear them? At first I said no, then later told her yes. For the first couple of years she bought me lingerie, blouses, dresses and makeup as gifts. I was in heaven. But now she seems much less interested in taking part in my crossdressing. While I do understand her reluctance, it's such a heartbreak. I'm a great husband and only dress at home, so there's no public embarrassment for her. I just want to be me.<br />
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Best of luck, Confusedinw. Stop trying to figure out why. I can't even answer it myself. Why do I like music? Why do I like the color blue? I don't know, I just do. I do know you'd have the most loyal, decent, loving boyfriend possible if you'd let him be who he needs to be.

P.S. If you ever need to talk feel free! It sounds like you and I have some similarities!!!

I am also dating a crossdresser. I was fortunate to find out right when we started dating. (A friend told me) I'd have to say I wasn't really shocked because nothing these days really surprises me anymore, but it did take me a little while to adjust. I had so many questions and concerns. Was this something he as going to do in public? Would he want to transition in the future? What would this mean for our sex life? Is he atracted to men?<br />
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Is easy for anyone to say "Just talk to him about it" but that is something that can be hard to do when you are still just getting to know each other. We have only been dating for 2 months now and we are just getting to were we are comfortable talking about it face to face (as opposed to on the internet when chatting). As time goes on you will get more comfortable and so will he. As long as you show him through your actions how accecpting and supportive you can be he will open up. <br />
I'm sure you buying him the new panties meant a lot to him. When my boyfriend and I went shopping together for the first time it was the most fun I ever had shopping. We learned a lot about each other that day and found that we don't really have the same taste in clothes lol. But it meant so much to him because it was the first time he went shopping like that with anybody.<br />
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I am finding that dating a crossdresser is such a great experience because he knows and understand things about women that most men don't. And it also makes him so much more open minded about other things as well. I wish you the best of luck in the relationship and if you ever feel like you can't handle it there is nothing wrong with that, it's not for everybody, but whatever you do do not lead him on. Be honest and I'm sure you will make a terrific friend if anything!!

I've seen several of these questions here. What is the big deal about a man crossdressing, if that is what he likes? Women do it everyday and think nothing about it..

Starrhoda is remarkedly wise. Listen to her.

I know exactly how you feel. I have been in your spot, and I know it can be a bit confusing at first. The most important thing to do is to talk to him about it. Be honest, but open minded, and listen to what he tells you. My boyfriend was a cross dresser, and he explained to me that there is all sorts of reasons why people cross dress. Many of these people are satisfied with just crossdressing, others do wish to make the transistion, but its all depending on the person.<br />
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Honesty is the most important part in all of this. I at first found it strange when I found out my boyfriend crossdressed, but I learned to accept it, and it made me feel like I could be more open with him as well.<br />
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The best advice someone gave me was that I needed to figure out how I felt about the situation, and if I felt it was something that I could get past and it wouldnt bother me, then the relationship could continue to progress. However, if you cant see a way to fully get past it, you dont have to just leave him and forget about him, you could always still be his friend.