What Am I Doing?????

I have worked with this guy for the past three years but we only see each other every few months.  I was sent to another state to run a project and he was the only person I knew pretty well.  I always had a feeling that he had a crush on me so I always kept my distance.  He started persuing me pretty hard.  One night after some drinks, he told me how he felt about me and we have been seeing each other ever since.

He says that his marriage is horrible and I believe him because other people have also said this but I feel ****** all of the time.  This is probably going to sound horrible, but I don't feel guilty about it.  I feel ****** for me knowing that Im settling in a relationship that is going no where.  I don't get to have a relationship that I want to have. 

He only see's his wife on the weekends so for two to three days, I get stuck wondering if his wife was nice to him this time and maybe he is having second thoughts about me.  What I don't get about his situation is that his wife pulls crap like when she feels like she is losing him she will stop taking her birth control, not tell him and get pregnant again, or she will get pissed off at him and take all of the money out of their account so he can't access any of it & he still won't leave.

The stupid thing about this is that I have read everything that I have written and I know how stupid it all sounds.  I just don't know how to pull myself out of this or how to stop having feelings for him.
rua362636 rua362636
5 Responses May 30, 2010

For what it's worth, I agree with Artsydesigns too. I know it is hard to walk away from a guy, married or otherwise. But you have to do it. The situation is never going to get better. He's playing you and you're better than that. *hugs*

I agree with Artsydesigns, his wife isn't the problem, he is. If his life were that terrible, he would leave his wife. He would definitely not keep sleeping with her knowing she is pulling the "no birth control" trick on him. He's playing a game and you are the one who will be hurt. I would absolutely walk away.

It's best to stop messing around with this married man like the bible says you reap what you sow!

So, no sympathy whatsover.. horrible marriage, why is he still there?<br />
But the main thing is you knew he was married when you started this<br />
Shame on you girl<br />
And his wife stops taking birth control<br />
DOH<br />
He's still sleeping with her then!<br />
Get a grip before you end up a single mother

It's all about self control. Even if it means nothing to you that he is married, you're not happy with the "relationship" because it is never going to be what you want it to be, so just walk away.