I Am Dating a Married Man
Never Ever Trust A Married Man No Matter What His Sad Story Is.. Its Always The Same Story.
By:
Askandbegiven
Written on May 15th, 2011
Hi .. I dont know how to begin and where to so that everything will in sequence. I am very upset right now.. I fell in love with a married man. yes its a taboo and morally wrong and all that and i know. But I dare to say that i truly thought that it was over with him and his wife. He told me they were separated and I recently found out that all that he fed me was lies. I lost a lot in this relationship and it kills me daily when i think that he is happily living it up and everything is working out well for him.
When i met him he was a lonely, sad and cash broke man. He told me his wife abused him and that she was not happy with what he made which was about two thousand dollars. He is a restaurant manager. He never told me that his wife was pregnant and when he did tell me, it was the day after she gave birth. On the night she gave birth he even came by to where i worked to say hello to me in the evening. Later he told me that the youngest, a daughter - the third child in the family was not even his. He earned my empathy. I wanted to set this man straight. I resolved to work him and make sure he started feeling better about himself. When at this point he told me he wanted to walk out of his home- i said no. Because i felt that regardless of whether the child was his or not, his wife had just given birth and this was not the time for him to walk out. I wouldn't wish this on myself and It will be devastating for a woman especially with 3 young children. There was good and bad that came out of this.
I made his life, mine. Our dates revolved around his restuarant, his work. I did his proposals. Waitressed and cashiered. And was available 24/7 for him as and when he needed me to talk about anything that he wanted to. We discussed his work and his staff. I got along very well with his staff and alot of people though suspected that he and i were an 'item' they also believed that i was his brains and back bone. One of his staffs told me this. Believe me in 3 months - he was promoted and within 5 months, saw yet another increment in his salary. He was no longer broke and was finding respect and the manliness that he was not seeing earlier in his community. He always made it known to me that I was the woman behind his success and i took note NOT to gloat and let myself soar in my heart for my success because by this time i was already suspecting things were better at his house. Insecurity set in within me.
Then one day he fell ill and he changed altogether. He told me that he was suspecting that it was stomach cancer. I went out of order. I prayed daily in the mornings on my prayer mat. I would wake up and I was terribly scared that he might just die. Imagine waking up daily at 4 am to pray and each day with tears and hope that he will recover. His test results came and it was ulcer. Than his fangs started showing. Increasingly he cancelled our dates. He cancelled our Friday dates. Each day all i got from him was Gdmorning B. LU - which meant - gdmrng baby. love you. He started to tell me that his children were his priority and that even I was not anymore. That hurt alot. After all that I did for him. But I gave in. I told myself that if his happiness and his heart was with his children then I should let him be. One of the reasons i loved him so much was because he loved his kids. Even when he told me he wanted to leave his wife and children, he always said that he wanted to make sure the boys had funds. But the truth was he was in demand now. His wife and he worked out their differences which is fine.
All i asked of him when we were together was to be upfront with me. To tell me he was working things out at home if he was because i do understand that children were involved. BUT he always and always told me that his daughter was another man's child and that his wife had had many men and that he will never forgive her for what he had been subjected to and the humiliation of being with her. I understood his feelings from a male's point of view. I truly loved him. I thought he was perfect, tender, responsible and kind. But directionless. There is more and it doesnt get easier.
I eventually broke up with him without a word concluding that if he wanted to work things out with his wife - i should let him since there were children involved. I refused to take calls and just started missing in action. Got a few where are you messages and soon that stopped when i refused to respond. I was really trying to be civil and control my emotions and not act on the rage and madness and sadness that I was going through within me. I want to highlight that as much as I have given and done for him - I am an attractive and a fiesty person. I live by my rules and am cheerful. I believe that people have a right to their choices. which was why i started seeing him and which is also why i decided to stop seeing him. And than more madness started. One of his wife's ex boyfriend starting looking me up on facebook. I didnt know who he was and all at that point of time. But when he started asking questions that were directed at the restuarant 'he' was working at - i knew something was up. So after a month and a half of disappearing i contacted him to tell him about the facebook stalker. He apologised and promised to have a word with his wife. I was nice about the whole thing and hung up but deleted my facebook account altogether.
I ran into him about 4 times altogether after this whole saga and I acted indifferent because I did not want his staff to detect any unhappy vibes from us. I bubbled as per normal and acted like I had it all together. But this started to attract him to me and I was oblivious to this. One day I missed so bad that I texted him.. he called back 3x and i refused to take the call because I felt like I did not want to get the whole thing started again. 2 days later, i text him his name again and he called. This time we arranged to meet. We were with each other and we talked a bit. I cried and I told him that I missed him alot. but this seemed to annoy him. He told me that his mom wanted him to be with his wife and that his wife had changed but he was still not giving her a chance. He said that he doesn't want any women in his life not even me. I just kept thinking what i had done to deserve this. I had done everything to the best of my abilities. He told me that Money and image was important to him. I listened and all this while i drew the conclusion that he was not just working his marriage but he wanted me back because he wanted to continue using me for his work and to do his proposals and stuff. Later on i went through his phone and i found a text where his wife mentioned that she might be pregnant with their fourth child and he replied with a we cant afford another one. To which she volunteered an abortion. I was disgusted cos he was still bitching about her and he was still telling me how the baby did not look like him.
I slapped him and he looked shocked. I asked him what kind of a person he was and i asked if whatever was in his pants was an animal that he had to feed it like that.
Some of the stories he shared with me made me realise that the wife had a good scare when she saw a much younger and attractive woman on facebook her husband and she decided to treat him better. (She is also older than him).She also set curfews and treated him like a kid in the past. I believe that was because of him being younger than her. She refused to let him go out and meet his guy friends or visit his hometown as well. I believe this is why he started detaching from her. Even though they were broke, she refused to get a job as apparently she told him that she will be embarrassed to introduce him as her husband since he was just a restaurant manager. He used to tell me that he was depressed and that people told him that he was crazy even when he confided in them. I knew back than he was depressed and i gave him fancy ideas about wooing back his wife - before we became an item but he maintained that he did not want her and that she was obsessed with money. I used to get him dinner because apparently she would lock the kitchen up after 8 which meant he did not get dinner on occasions he was late home. There were other times she would leave him in the cold as well to sleep because apparently the blanket he used were her purchases. He had many such bully stories. See his family does not live in the same city as his wife or her family and he was constantly shamed publicly to his in laws who never approved of him or something like that. And apparently she always threatened to kill herself each time he said he will walk out on her.
Right now I just want to know how to heal. It is really painful. I truly regret nuturing him and making him into a confident man because when i met him he was a broken man but now he looks like an animal to me and i regret with all my heart that his wife doesnt wield any control anymore for I know why she is submitting. This is insecurity. I am an attractive woman and 6 younger than him too. I truly am sorry for her because she will never get to know what kind of animal she has married. Now that I am out of the picture, I also know that there is another woman in the picture. He is sleeping around with another married woman and that woman dotes on him like he was a baby. I feel sick to my gut. How do i heal. Im tired of this agony. Sometimes I feel sick and sad when I think about my loss. I feel like a dog has pawed me and i feel dirty and ashamed and disgusted.
He is a cancerian man by the way. Ive read that cancerian men have these tendencies. But they are so convincing when they want to be.
Please dont say unkind words. I am kinda broken. I don't know why though for in reality - It is a blessing for i did not end up with him.
The last day I met him, which was the day I slapped him - he told me to delete his number from my phone. The hurtful part is I see him like a dog and I am angry with myself for having not seen this earlier but i have lost so very much.
When i met him he was a lonely, sad and cash broke man. He told me his wife abused him and that she was not happy with what he made which was about two thousand dollars. He is a restaurant manager. He never told me that his wife was pregnant and when he did tell me, it was the day after she gave birth. On the night she gave birth he even came by to where i worked to say hello to me in the evening. Later he told me that the youngest, a daughter - the third child in the family was not even his. He earned my empathy. I wanted to set this man straight. I resolved to work him and make sure he started feeling better about himself. When at this point he told me he wanted to walk out of his home- i said no. Because i felt that regardless of whether the child was his or not, his wife had just given birth and this was not the time for him to walk out. I wouldn't wish this on myself and It will be devastating for a woman especially with 3 young children. There was good and bad that came out of this.
I made his life, mine. Our dates revolved around his restuarant, his work. I did his proposals. Waitressed and cashiered. And was available 24/7 for him as and when he needed me to talk about anything that he wanted to. We discussed his work and his staff. I got along very well with his staff and alot of people though suspected that he and i were an 'item' they also believed that i was his brains and back bone. One of his staffs told me this. Believe me in 3 months - he was promoted and within 5 months, saw yet another increment in his salary. He was no longer broke and was finding respect and the manliness that he was not seeing earlier in his community. He always made it known to me that I was the woman behind his success and i took note NOT to gloat and let myself soar in my heart for my success because by this time i was already suspecting things were better at his house. Insecurity set in within me.
Then one day he fell ill and he changed altogether. He told me that he was suspecting that it was stomach cancer. I went out of order. I prayed daily in the mornings on my prayer mat. I would wake up and I was terribly scared that he might just die. Imagine waking up daily at 4 am to pray and each day with tears and hope that he will recover. His test results came and it was ulcer. Than his fangs started showing. Increasingly he cancelled our dates. He cancelled our Friday dates. Each day all i got from him was Gdmorning B. LU - which meant - gdmrng baby. love you. He started to tell me that his children were his priority and that even I was not anymore. That hurt alot. After all that I did for him. But I gave in. I told myself that if his happiness and his heart was with his children then I should let him be. One of the reasons i loved him so much was because he loved his kids. Even when he told me he wanted to leave his wife and children, he always said that he wanted to make sure the boys had funds. But the truth was he was in demand now. His wife and he worked out their differences which is fine.
All i asked of him when we were together was to be upfront with me. To tell me he was working things out at home if he was because i do understand that children were involved. BUT he always and always told me that his daughter was another man's child and that his wife had had many men and that he will never forgive her for what he had been subjected to and the humiliation of being with her. I understood his feelings from a male's point of view. I truly loved him. I thought he was perfect, tender, responsible and kind. But directionless. There is more and it doesnt get easier.
I eventually broke up with him without a word concluding that if he wanted to work things out with his wife - i should let him since there were children involved. I refused to take calls and just started missing in action. Got a few where are you messages and soon that stopped when i refused to respond. I was really trying to be civil and control my emotions and not act on the rage and madness and sadness that I was going through within me. I want to highlight that as much as I have given and done for him - I am an attractive and a fiesty person. I live by my rules and am cheerful. I believe that people have a right to their choices. which was why i started seeing him and which is also why i decided to stop seeing him. And than more madness started. One of his wife's ex boyfriend starting looking me up on facebook. I didnt know who he was and all at that point of time. But when he started asking questions that were directed at the restuarant 'he' was working at - i knew something was up. So after a month and a half of disappearing i contacted him to tell him about the facebook stalker. He apologised and promised to have a word with his wife. I was nice about the whole thing and hung up but deleted my facebook account altogether.
I ran into him about 4 times altogether after this whole saga and I acted indifferent because I did not want his staff to detect any unhappy vibes from us. I bubbled as per normal and acted like I had it all together. But this started to attract him to me and I was oblivious to this. One day I missed so bad that I texted him.. he called back 3x and i refused to take the call because I felt like I did not want to get the whole thing started again. 2 days later, i text him his name again and he called. This time we arranged to meet. We were with each other and we talked a bit. I cried and I told him that I missed him alot. but this seemed to annoy him. He told me that his mom wanted him to be with his wife and that his wife had changed but he was still not giving her a chance. He said that he doesn't want any women in his life not even me. I just kept thinking what i had done to deserve this. I had done everything to the best of my abilities. He told me that Money and image was important to him. I listened and all this while i drew the conclusion that he was not just working his marriage but he wanted me back because he wanted to continue using me for his work and to do his proposals and stuff. Later on i went through his phone and i found a text where his wife mentioned that she might be pregnant with their fourth child and he replied with a we cant afford another one. To which she volunteered an abortion. I was disgusted cos he was still bitching about her and he was still telling me how the baby did not look like him.
I slapped him and he looked shocked. I asked him what kind of a person he was and i asked if whatever was in his pants was an animal that he had to feed it like that.
Some of the stories he shared with me made me realise that the wife had a good scare when she saw a much younger and attractive woman on facebook her husband and she decided to treat him better. (She is also older than him).She also set curfews and treated him like a kid in the past. I believe that was because of him being younger than her. She refused to let him go out and meet his guy friends or visit his hometown as well. I believe this is why he started detaching from her. Even though they were broke, she refused to get a job as apparently she told him that she will be embarrassed to introduce him as her husband since he was just a restaurant manager. He used to tell me that he was depressed and that people told him that he was crazy even when he confided in them. I knew back than he was depressed and i gave him fancy ideas about wooing back his wife - before we became an item but he maintained that he did not want her and that she was obsessed with money. I used to get him dinner because apparently she would lock the kitchen up after 8 which meant he did not get dinner on occasions he was late home. There were other times she would leave him in the cold as well to sleep because apparently the blanket he used were her purchases. He had many such bully stories. See his family does not live in the same city as his wife or her family and he was constantly shamed publicly to his in laws who never approved of him or something like that. And apparently she always threatened to kill herself each time he said he will walk out on her.
Right now I just want to know how to heal. It is really painful. I truly regret nuturing him and making him into a confident man because when i met him he was a broken man but now he looks like an animal to me and i regret with all my heart that his wife doesnt wield any control anymore for I know why she is submitting. This is insecurity. I am an attractive woman and 6 younger than him too. I truly am sorry for her because she will never get to know what kind of animal she has married. Now that I am out of the picture, I also know that there is another woman in the picture. He is sleeping around with another married woman and that woman dotes on him like he was a baby. I feel sick to my gut. How do i heal. Im tired of this agony. Sometimes I feel sick and sad when I think about my loss. I feel like a dog has pawed me and i feel dirty and ashamed and disgusted.
He is a cancerian man by the way. Ive read that cancerian men have these tendencies. But they are so convincing when they want to be.
Please dont say unkind words. I am kinda broken. I don't know why though for in reality - It is a blessing for i did not end up with him.
The last day I met him, which was the day I slapped him - he told me to delete his number from my phone. The hurtful part is I see him like a dog and I am angry with myself for having not seen this earlier but i have lost so very much.
By:
Askandbegiven
Age:
26-30
,
Female
