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Not Sure How To Let Go!

ok ladies its been a while since i have been on here! My affair with my MM is still going on.....we had a break up about 3 weeks ago he said he needed time to think and i kept pushing that he didnt so he ended it i txt him about 3 days later and we talked for a bit then hung out and its like nothing ever even happened we never talked about everything that went down. Its getting harder and harder to do this...Im not sure if hes even still in love with me like he told me he was... he might not b in love with me or was ever in love with me but i am with him so this is almost unbearable. he starts back in school soon so i wont be seeing him a lot like i always do! i really want to end it but i really dont want to feel the pain i felt last time!

hisgirl1127 hisgirl1127 22-25 3 Responses Aug 13, 2012

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I heard this once, and maybe it is fitting.

The MM is driving a car & you are trying to get into the front seat with him. However, the doors are locked, so you are hanging onto the bumper.

He is driving over bumps & rocks, you are getting tossed around and eventually, i let go because it hurt too much to hang on, i let go of the bumper becaues it hurt too much.

Your best judge is yourself, when you see yourself more unhappy then happy, you are the only one that has to take control.

You are responsible for your own happiness, not him. If you are constantly unhappy (like I was, you need to do something) It will be hard, trust me i battle it daily, however, being in love does not jusitfy being sad either. You can love from afar, that is probably the best advice i can give.

It is so tough because it will hurt like hell if you do break it off and it also hurts terrible being in a relationship that is so up and down. You are either really high or devastatingly low. Sometimes he doesn't call for days and I feel like he forgets me and then all of the sudden he calls and I am so happy again. We only spend about 20 min a week together but it is total ecstasy when he walks in. We talk on the phone almost every night. He loves to talk and tell me about his day. I think that is what he is missing at home. I don't think his wife likes to listen to his day or what he is interested in. That's sad because everybody needs to feel important. I have tried so hard to convince myself to let him go but I truly love him and I think he loves me too even though he hasn't said it.

Either way you go, there will be pain. Do you stay and feel it constant or do you leave and get through it to come out strong and happier?