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He Is Married But Won't Leave Me Alone

We met at work, he is everything a woman can possibly want.Not everybody gets him but I do, we became friends but right away we just couldnt stop making excuses to come to each other's desks to talk about anything. One night he finally admitted he was attracted to me but that we couldnt do anything because he was married and that his wife would find out and take his kids, I asked one single question...then why are u still standing here instead of going home? Well it only got worse from there, it was impossible to stay away, he began to touch me when noone was around and I just coudlnt say no, I kept telling myself it was purely sexual for me, just to satisfy my curiosity, but the affair became an emotional one instead of a physical one...beware...those are worse. All the while I was living with my significant other, I had an honest conversation with him and asked him to please help me work on our relationship because I was putting my eyes where I shouldnt and that was only an indication that things at home were not great, he promised to be more involved but that never happened, so I fell hard for the MM. I could tell he would do anything for me, he followed me everywhere at work, take me to lunch almost every day but we still wouldnt have sex. He would tease me constantly touching me, stealing kisses from me, driving me insane. One late afternoon I was in my office and he walked in and we fooled around in a more heavy way, we both went insane. I still don't know how I stopped, but on his way home he texted me and said he coudlnt do that again etc. I was ok with that bc in my denial i thought it was still strictly sexual for me. During one of those teasing days I went home and just threw myself in the arms of my ex to see if that helped the situation, and I became pregnant. Here I was in love with a MM and pregnant from my ex, I told the MM the next day after I found out, I thoguht that would be it for him, I was so wrong, he cared for my pregnancy in such a way that I still can't believe, he'd talk like if that child was his, he'd get on his knees to kiss my belly, I was so confused all the time but also so in love. Yet when workday was over my heart would break all over watching him go home. So finally when it was time for me to go on maternity leave we agreed that was it for us, that by the time I came back we would stay away from each other, u guessed it, I was wrong about that too, he texted me all day every day during those months and by the time I came back things only grew even more, still no sex...until one day, he came to my desk and asked me to go with him to a place to be together, I accepted, after almost 2 years it was finally happening. It was ok, but the fact that it was with him made it amazing. And ever since we have tried everything to stay away from each other, and I mean it all. He has asked me many times to go somewhere with him and I've refused, he's also refused to let me touch him. I don't know how to explain it we have this crazy inexplicable connection, people at work notice, they tell me if I have seen the way he looks at me like am his world. the point is he won't leave his family, his two children are everything, he tells me he knows he will be unhappy for the rest of his life but that his children will be grateful to him when they grow up. I have begged him to leave me alone but he won't. Our affair is not based on sex yet I feel like I can't escape him.
sahatti sahatti 31-35, F 3 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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If he isnt leaving you alone, its because you arent sending the message to him loud and clear!
Your life isnt what it should be because of your choices.
You are a mother now, you should be a great example for your child. If you dont love your boyfriend, move on. Your married man isnt the answer your looking for...you need to find what is missing inside of YOU! Then, you will begin to have a n ormal loving stable relationship that you can grow and raise your child in that atmosphere.

I hope that you manage to sort things out. I too am attracted to a married friend, but so far it hasn't progressed beyond a few stolen kisses

I'm curious how things are now too. This sounds very complicated.