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Im a Christian Woman In Love With a Married Man

I am dating a married man........that is the frst time I have said it, printed it or even admitted it.  My story is long...so please be patient, and please give me feedback.

I met him at work, he was my boss. Nothing out of the ordinary at first, I am a dedicated worker and do my job well so that is where my focus was. I am a woman who has always worked in the automotive service industry so working with men is what I have always done. My boss and I could joke about work, we talked about kids, sports all the normal things. I have been divorced due to domestic violence an vowed to never try again. we talked about this from time to time.

His wife would call and was always very mean to me, little did I know she was very upset he was working with a woman. They had been havin gproblems for about 3 years and he had told her he wanted a divorce at some point. She asked him to go to counseling, he did, he even went to the dr. because she thought he was just depressed. Anyway, we talked about these things at work. My advice was God can fix anything, but you need to look for Gods will not just follow your own heart.

He ended up being transfered to a location an hour away,,,,,then I realized how much I missed him. We occasionally talked but not much. He called me one day and told me he moved out and t was finally done after 19 years. He was ok, but worried how the kids were going to be during the process ahead of him. I gave him advice on how to deal with kids emotions through a divorce.

About a month went by and he called and asked me out to a movie, I said yes without even thinking.

There starts the first of my guilt.

 I am a christian woman, saved and forgiven by Jesus. I know how Jesus feels about adultry and I knew with him just starting the divorce, this was adultry.  I went anyway.....we laughed. I cant tell you how much we think alike, have in common, love kids, kids sports, kids laughter......Over the next few weeks I was falling in love.

His soon to be ex wfe knows about me, she has almost become stalkerish, she uses her kids terribly, the older kids almost never talk to their mom because of her behavior. Now she has started a ton of blogs about her husband whos in a midlife crisis so he left her for a younger woman. It's just not true......it's been almost 7 months and statstics show most "SEX affairs" fzzle out after about 4 months.  He has been sick and in the hospital 4 times, he had a job change so was unemployed for a few weeks and I never left his side.

She blogged that she doesnt know why I stay around with him wth the issues that we have had with his health.  I love him....thats what you do when you want a lfe with some one. I know he loves me...by the way he looks at me, the way he helps even when I dont ask, he wears my favorite color, he prays with me, we have asked God for forgiveness of our weakness in this. We know Jesus saves, we know sn is forgiven.....but we both struggle with our love being wrong when neither of us have ever wanted to be with someone so much.

He lives over an hour away, and while he was looking for a job we prayed that whatever Gods will was God would just provide a job even if it meant we saw each other less.  Well he got a call from a business here locally near me that he didnt apply at. They said they heard he was looking and would love to have him as part of their management team. SO now he works here....he commutes and it is wonderful, we get to see ech other everyday and we are planning for our future together.

His ex now is getting ther oldest daughter upset regularly, by crying, havng meltdowns and doing just immature things, so he gets these phone calls from his daughter....that sometimes she loves her dad and yet then she tells him how horrbile he s for doing this to her mother.

I am amazed at this blog the ex follows....its led by a man who says he was in a midlife crisis so he knows husbands will go back eventually no matter what. These poor woman following him are being misled. He tells them even if husbands remarry to wait they always go back to the first wife.????? 

Last time I checked divorce didnt happen because one person is in crisis....its two people who dont love each other, or care to.

God does not condone divorce I know this, but he does promise happiness from hurt. Once he forgives someone its gone, he doesnt hold onto it.

More than just using the word love, I admire him, he s my best friend I laugh with, I cry with....he knows all my thoughts and feelings in this. We talk sooo much about how to help his children through this, even when there mom is holding them back.

SO I need realtionship advice, and advice about my relationship with Christ..........

barista6776 barista6776 31-35 28 Responses Mar 15, 2009

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Wow, you allow yourself in this place because you are selfish and not living for God. There is no excuse for any lover of Christ to knowingly pursue sexual sin. As a man that will be the result. As a sold out follower of Jesus, I have witnessed my wife of 13 years chase other married men and produced a child marriage outside the marriage. We are divorced now, but it is still painful to our son and I. Stop thinking about yourself and do what God tells you to do, by following His Word. It says a man who finds a wife has a good thing, he finds favor of the Lord. Not the man who finds another man's wife.....

as a christian dating married man or married woman total wrong dear we have to remain faithfiul exodus20v14,im a christian 40yrs old i nearly do that my friends tell me that married man maybe sent by God i dont think God will sent a married not at all we must still know that is God v Satan choice is on us which party we go for it james2v10

According to Matthew 5:27-32 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

So that answers your question... According to the Word it's wrong for you to be with a married man or woman. I always believe there's a purpose to God's Words. He restore marriages if both party looks upon to Him. And as a husband God commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Is this man you are with dies to himself for his crazy wife. The answer is no. It's obvious that he loves her. If that's not the case he would not have married her and had kids with her. Unfortunately, you are a distraction that the enemy uses to distroy marriages. It's unfortunate, but its true. I recommend you seek counsel from a pastor at church. May God be with you through this circumstances.

God is not mocked you will reap what you sow. You are involved in sin and need to end this.

First of all, my hearts goes out to you because of your dilemma. I will sincerely pray for you and everyone involved in the situation you wrote about. I want to be completely honest, please do not feel judged. As you have already hinted, marriage is sacred in the eyes of God. As long as you are "the other woman", you are literally rebelling against what you know to be true. Even if the gentleman is unhappy, or has what you determine to be a crazy wife, you really should distance yourself. Have enough love for yourself to honor God's law. Always be careful about a person's character. Someone who cheats on his wife has an issue with fidelity. Regardless of his explanations of his misery in his marriage, it takes two people to corrupt a relationship. Please make sure you are viewing your situation how God would evaluate it, not by your emotions. Pray specifically for God's wisdom and guidance. He will answer if you sincerely listen. God bless.

I am a Christian man been married 9 yrs I have seen what divorce can do it really tears a family apart my wife and I almost devorced acouple of months ago due to arguing most of the time lack of communication I saw the pain in my daughters eyes I never wanted to put her through that I realize I been physically married but emotionally devorced no matter what way u look at it sin and lust of the flesh will overcome if you allow it so what my wife and I did different is spend more time together in prayer kneeling before god even it takes 5 minutes everyday don't be to quick to throw in the towel we pray together and god has been restoring our marriage that's a big difference to the way we were before you have to be a fighter inside and out because before we meet The Lord I want to tell him I gave it my all just like he did on the crucifixion for us even if you have devorced does not mean god cannot hear you he still loves u the same as yesterday ask the lord to forgive u from your heart try to make things right with your children because they are the ones that hurt. No matter what u done He is willing to forgive and start fresh again there is message they have at my Church on the computer screens I want to leave u with:-) nothing you confess could make me love you less-Jesus

I have also had a "crush" on a married man about to get divorced. However, because I fear (respect) God and love God so much I know I have to release this man. He would tell me how his wife doesn't return his love and how she fights violently in front of the children, BUT what I do is pray for her. I pray that she may change for the SAKE of her family--for the children. The children need both a mom and a dad in the family. The children need not a broken family, because I know how much it will hurt them later on. I read a lot of stories from people and teens going through their parent's divorce. It is not God's will to have hurt and pain in a child. The parents need to consider their child's feelings. And here you said that the daughter called and said that she hates her dad for treating her mom like this. Well, if I were in your shoes....I wouldn't think about myself. I would think about what the daughter said. If she honestly feels that, you shouldn't be with her father. It will cause pain and will build hatred towards her father and you. Is that God's will? What did Jesus say about anger?? He describes it as a sin. Do not be a stumbling block for her or her father. Do not cause her dad to commit adultery and do not cause his daughter to hate. It will damage both of them. I know its hard but ask God to help you in this area. PRAY PRAY PRAY!! I just asked God to save me and man... my feelings for him went away. PRAY!!



1 Corinthians 7:10-11

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.





Jesus says that if the married man or woman does not want to be with each other then separate, or else he or she should reconcile (to make up) with his/her husband or wife.

Right now, I am also having a "crush" on a married man about to get divorced. However, because I fear (respect) God and love God so much I know I have to release this man. He would tell me how his wife doesn't return his love and how she fights violently in front of the children, BUT what I do is pray for her. I pray that she may change for the SAKE of her family--for the children. The children need both a mom and a dad in the family. The children need not a broken family, because I know how much it will hurt them later on. I read a lot of stories from people and teens going through their parent's divorce. It is not God's will to have hurt and pain in a child. The parents need to consider their child's feelings. And here you said that the daughter called and said that she hates her dad for treating her mom like this. Well, if I were in your shoes....I wouldn't think about myself. I would think about what the daughter says about her words. If she honestly feels that, you shouldn't be with her father. It will cause pain and will build hatred towards her father and you. Is that God's will? What did Jesus say about anger?? He describes it as a sin. Do not be a stumbling block for her or her father. Do not cause her dad to commit adultery and do not cause his daughter to hate. It will damage both of them. I know its hard but ask God to help you in this area. PRAY PRAY PRAY!! I just asked God save me and man my feelings for him went away. PRAY!!

Right now, I am also having a "crush" on a married man about to get divorced. However, because I fear (respect) God and love God so much I know I have to release this man. He would tell me how his wife doesn't return his love and how she fights violently in front of the children, BUT what I do is pray for her. I pray that she may change for the SAKE of her family--for the children. The children need both a mom and a dad in the family. The children need not a broken family, because I know how much it will hurt them later on. I read a lot of stories from people and teens going through their parent's divorce. It is not God's will to have hurt and pain in a child. The parents need to consider their child's feelings. And here you said that the daughter called and said that she hates her dad for treating her mom like this. Well, if I were in your shoes....I wouldn't think about myself. I would think about what the daughter says about her words. If she honestly feels that, you shouldn't be with her father. It will cause pain and will build hatred towards her father and you. Is that God's will? What did Jesus say about anger?? He describes it as a sin. Do not be a stumbling block for her or her father. Do not cause her dad to commit adultery and do not cause his daughter to hate. It will damage both of them. I know its hard but ask God to help you in this area. PRAY PRAY PRAY!! I just asked God save me and man my feelings for him went away. PRAY!!

Jesus sure has forgiven you. But one cannot continue living in sin, after the Holy Spirit has convicted you of it !! Believers knowing about the righteousness of God have to give an account of how they used their Temple of the Holy Spirit...!! Also, continuing in sin will lead to spiritual numbness, chance for Satan to destroy your body, loss of joy in salvation, and ultimately humiliation before the angels in heaven on the day when Jesus awards crowns in His kingdom... So , the best option is to pray and cease from sin !! Because sin will destroy the body even if the Soul is saved !!!!!!

I feel for your situation, even though I've never been on the same side your on. According to Jesus, the only cause for divorce is adultery and only the non guilty party is permitted to remarry. This other woman is fighting for her family, for her husband and she has every right to. She may be doing inappropriate things out of hurt, anger, and fear but can you really blame her?

God forgives those who repent. The word repent means to turn away. God is able, willing, and ready to forgive you, after you repent.

I know these words will not give you any sense of justification for what you are doing, and they're not meant to. You asked for advice concerning both the relationship and your relationship with Christ. You have a choice to make and Christ is waiting for you to make the right one. He cannot help you until you do so freely.

I sincerely hope all works out for you, according to the will of God.

pray that you do the Will of God and not the things of your flesh. Your already committing adultery and you both will have to pay account for that. You must not fear God. They may not be together naturally but they are still spiritualy bound. His wife will always be first in Gods eyes your just a mistress to God. You dug yourself a hole and jumped in. Thank God for who he is. Merciful

It is good to know that I am not alone in my situation. I am in so much pain because I know that I love him, more than I have ever loved any other man in my life. But it is wrong. He is married. And although he is very unhappy, I know that I cannot save him. I need to stop trying. I told him we can't see each other anymore but I do not know how long my resolve will last.

How did I get to this point. I have grown up loving God with my whole heart and following his voice in the most difficult situations. But this one area has been the most hard to give up.

Can I ever find a man I love like him? Help me. I feel lost and hurt and on the verge of doing many stupid things.

Hi! I am in your boat too.. I'm so in love that I can barely breathe when I think about how we can never be together. We have never and will never worry about the physical things. He has simply been my fighting buddy in this world that seems to want to tear us down all the time. (us as in Christians, not our relationship) In the past few months he has gone through so much, and its killed me to see him in so much pain. God has opened my eyes to the fact that what we have is simply an emotional affair. It KILLS me. I know that I have to end this, but its only going to crush him even more. Its going to ruin his trust in who he says is the last person on earth he can trust. His wife hurt him so badly that he couldn't eat, he got so upset that he would vomit just water. He lost so much weight that i was afraid he wouldn't make it. This is what kills me, its going to happen again if I stop this, I don't want to kill the man I love, only second to God in my life. But at the end if the day I know I need to do what God wants me to. I need to trust him with everything, even if it means ending the most important relationship I have ever had. This man has been my rock, my sanity, my best friend, and without a doubt my love. I don't know if I will be able to love someone else like him, all I know is that what God has in store for my future is better than anything I could ever plan. So from here I am going to take my brokenness and let God shine through it. I am going to get up every day and live for the only thing I have left, the only man I have that can always be there for me - God's unfailing and perfect love. I know I am too weak to look at his face and keep my commitment to God because the love I have for this man is so deeply rooted that he's in my every thought. He loves every part of me and I him. so I am finishing school to get my degree for ESL and I am going into the mission field. And who knows maybe God has a man in store for me who can handle all of this.. someone who can commit to me the way a husband should. ..



My advice would be to get out of it while you can, as soon as possible. You will need to eventually, so do it before he's in your heart so deeply that you can't get him out. It's a hurt that cripples you to the core.

Hi, by the time I am writing this to you, I wonder if you are still in the situation you are in. I am not judging you but there are people that are hurt because of this situation, that is not done in the right way. When you are proclaiming Christ you must be careful how you do things. You know that He is a deliverer and wouldn't put you in this situation, but the enemy and flesh would. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Don't lose your salvation. GOD knows the desires of your heart and this person might not really be the one for you. Step back awhile, without sin in this relationship. Be prayerful, so that you can hear from GOD, and don't be fearful of what he might say. Their relationship will fail if they really don't love each other. And you can live with him in peace, love and no guilt. Be careful!

Barista you should get out of the relationship with the married man. Love is not just about feelings, having fun, and common hobbies, it's primarily about commitment. And in the context of marriage the commitment has been made and so both the married husband and wife should, although difficult, be working things out.



You should be far away from the situation. Another female is not appropriate to counsel this married man during this hard time, it should be another caring man, maybe a pastor.



You are currently sinning against God, the married man, his wife, your ex and all the children. It's the hard truth, but accepting it will set you free.

I won't condemn you Bari.I am a born again lady striving to come out of a" friendship" with a married man. i certainly know by all means without even a revelation that as a born again christian, it's forbidden.It's not the first time, I always get attracted and fall for married men BUT while this is one of the sins that so easily make me fall, deep down I know by grace I shall come out of this. I walk in guilt and while the relationship feels nice, it has reaped me of joy and peace.I totally agree with you passiton and yet while the spirit is willing the body is very weak. I trust I'll soon get out of this ungodly relationship

its so sad, when you love someone that can never be yours. The hardest thing to do is letting go of someone you really love. But remember everytime you do what is rght, God sees and he so has your back. Pls run to him for grace and receive strenght

Well, the Bible does say that divorce and remiarriage is a sin, so if you marry, and your ex-spouse is still living, then that's adultery. If he passes away, then you're no longer bound to your ex-spouse and are free to marry. As for the divorced man, as long as his wife is still living, then it would still be an adulterous relationship. It's best in this case to remain single. This clearly messes things up family-wise as well. You don't need the headache of ex's still being around.

I second the recommendation of this book. I was one of the lucky ones for whom it really was a romantic affair and he did leave his wife for me.



One friend read it, and was distraught to realise her affair would prolly go on forever w/o him ever leaving his wife. She confronted him; he admitted it, she ended the affair.



Another friend's affair was teetering on romantic and the guy finally got through to his counselor that he was seriously tired of trying to heal his marriage, and he's moved out to his own place.



No matter where and what your affair is this book will help you.

There is a book titled "Will he really leave her for me?" (subtitled: understanding your situation & making decisions for your happiness". It is written by Rona B. Subotnik, L.M.F.T (licensed marriage & family therapist). She gives an unbiased view of what is really going on. There is a Part II called "The Marital Triangle" and the one chapters are: About her, next chapter is About Him, and the 3rd chapter in Part II is About Him. You will see "her" in a new light as well as yourself and him. Part III: The Affair...Chapter Six is The Stages of an Affair, Chapter Seven is Assessing your affair. Part IV is Coping with the Decisions: Ch 8: Continuing the affair Ch 9: You and He Marry and Ch 10 is: If the Affair Ends.

Backing up: Chapter one is: Living in the Shadows and Chapter Two is: How did I get Here?

Interesting reading for anyone interested in the subject of affairs whether you are involved in or or you are trying to understand someone else who is. The author just tells about her experiences with clients who have affairs for the past 25 years of her career. Here is what she says are the mistresses' beliefs:

1. An affair is understandable if you know he is in an unhappy marriage.

2. An affair will give him some pleasure and make his marriage more tolerable.

3. An affair is permissable because if I weren't the one he were having the affair with, it would be someone else.

4. An affair with a married man doesn't hurt anyone if is done discreetly.

5. An affair with a married man is not looked down upon in today's world.

6. When push comes to shove, he wil choose the person who gives him the most pleasure and the fewest problems.

7. I can keep him interested because I am (a) younger (b) prettier (c) sexier (d) more fun (e) all of the above.

8. I have a special hold on him that a wife can't possibly have.

She says these beliefs need to be checked out against the facts to see it they are valid as the truth is essential to your happiness. It is crucial to recognize the your lover may be a partner with you in maintaining an unchallenged belief system. In the long run, your recognition of the truth is your defense against continuing in a situation that may eventually cause you pain.



I'm a psychology and pre-med major and I read this book in a psychology course. It is the first book I've ever seen that doesn't judge the wife, the husband, or the mistress. The entire book is good and is a great reference point for the mistress.

Well, I agree that Christ forgives sins, but sins are forgiven under the premise that we would not continue to sin. Like the woman at the well he told her "go and sind no more, your sins have been forgiven." Its no way to make this situation pretty or easy. Every decision you both make, weighs on your children, your characters and mostly your eternal life. If you really want to hear the will of God like you advised him, you would what the Holy Spirit would teach you to do through the word of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 7:1-2 , Hebrews 13:4, I do not know, but your problem seems so personal to me, I loved the heart of my boss also, but I can not destroy his or my soul because of my emotions or my carnal nature. Denying self for Christ is hard but most times required.

As a Christian you never think of the possibility of falling in love with some one that is married. Being raised on Christian beliefs we are taught that God does not approve of this type of behavior.



With that said, I am here to tell you that I am currently in your position. I fell in love with a guy from work who is married. We started out talking, joking, and working on projects together. He was a main support of mine as I worked on a major project. I found myself looking forward to seeing him at work and would always make an effort to at least walk by and say hello. Initially I felt that I had built a good friendship. One day- he told me that I was one of the most beautiful women he had ever met. For a while, though I was flattered, I avoided him. I knew it was wrong to reciprocate the compliment though I felt the same way. I struggled day in with my growing feelings for a taken man. We had a major crises at work one day that involved not only he and I but a few others. After the crises was taken care of and I realized that I almost lost him reality set in as to how much I cared for him. I crossed the bridge and I made the mistake of finally reciprocating his feelings.



I know that falling in love with him is one of the biggest mistakes of my life. He is not happily married and though he says he wants to marry me- I believe and know that it is not going to happen. And even if it were to happen- I know that at this point he could do the same thing to me that he (WE) are doing to his current wife. He says he loves her but is not in love with her. He says he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone. It's flattering to hear that- but he is non the less still married. Though I know he loves me very much- I know he has a tie to her that I will never be able to break. And I should not break it. He has children with her- and for a week they actually separated until his older children begged him to return to their mother. He did.



So I'm telling you- from experience- I believe that God can and will forgive- but we have to mindfully make the choice to ask for forgiveness and correct our mistakes. The hardest thing for me to do right now is to pull away from him and encourage him to make it work with his wife. He choose to marry her for a reason- my beliefs have convicted me that I am not meant to be with him. Regardless of how much I love him and want to be with him. I know my story is not the same as yours and your circumstances are different that mine. But know that you have support whatever you choose. To choose to leave and end the relationship is an extremly hard decision to make and live. I miss him every day and my heart hurts knowing I'm not with him. I believe that God will forgive me for doing what I've done- but I also believe that I have to pay the consequences for disobeying what I know God said was wrong.

I too was seeing a married man but his wife busted us twice and even though he said he didnt love her he felt bad because he saw that she was hurting and i asked him if he wanted to chill for now and he said yes but I think he meant he didnt want to see me again. Its been two weeks since Ive seen him and he either cannot call me or hasnt bothered calling. Maybe he really didnt love me I dont know what to think..but he said before that he only cared about her and didnt love her and that he loved me and that he was looking for a way to tell her but now I dont know if he still feels the same way all I know is that I love him and that I pray to God every day to be able to be with him again ...see I was a Christian a long time ago and I do believe in prayer so I pray that everything falls into place I have the strong belief that he and I are meant to be for some reason..I know it sounds crazy because he is after all married..but I know him since the 9th grade and I am not 43 yrs old and we used to have bad love crushes on each other way back then and it was only recently i found out how much he had really cared about me. I am hurt confused and distraught at the possibility that I will never see him again. Ive been keeping to myself lately hardly going out like I used to and waiting by the phone thinking he will call me because he misses me but the truth is I dont think he ever loved me I think I was just an infatuation because if he loved me he would have found a chance to altleast call me and tell me that he cares but that hasnt happened and it hurts so much that he hasnt called me. I dont know what else to say but like you I am not perfect and I love him so much and I wish I could just erase him from memory and not think about him the way I do.

Going back to the garden of Eden. Adam stood directly behind Woman as the serpent deceived and destroyed her. Adam was passive, weak and irresponsible. He should have protected and defended her but he didn't. When God came looking for them, He didn't call out for Woman even though she was the one who ate first. God called out for Adam because ADAM was responsible for the devastation he allowed to happen.



The married man you are dating is not any better than the passive Adam described about. I know I'm being VERY, VERY hard on him but we Christian men need a big kick in as* It's time we start looking more like Christ and less like Adam.



I feel bad for you because your first husband was a dud and now you've gotten tangled up with a guy who's skirting his responsibility. You're desire to be loved and protected by a man is natural and Godly but finding one who is honorable is a formidable task. I hate to say it but

ditching your wife and breaking up your family just isn't honorable whether you're a Christian or not. I really think your boy needs to do the hard thing and DIE trying to save his marriage. If he fails, at least he will have done the honorable thing, proved his MANhood and will be free in God's eyes to pursue a relationship with you. Good luck Barista6776. I hope you will keep me posted.

Just a reminder to the earlier posters that Jesus ALSO said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" and we all know how THAT turned out don't we? HMMM?

Thought so... now go away, you're not helping.



Barista, sweetie, I've been in your shoes (all of them save the kid thing which is messy no two ways about it)

Jesus saves, only God can judge, and no one ever got thru this life without a little ugly coming their way.

And man is that ex wife UGLY. Your man may be a Christian, but she's not or she's reading some translation of the bible not approved by the Baptist Synod.



There are great books out there, written by qualified therapists not harpies on an anonymous community board for heaven's sake that are much better suited to give you the advice you seek. The divorce is in process right, he's moved out, sleep with him or not your choice. If you want to wait til the divorce is final, well if you can good luck! (I couldn't :D).



Do your kids know his status? Most of all has he met them and looked them in the eye and said I love your mother, and I want to take care of her, and you once we can marry?



I'm sure you haven't met his kids, Momma Bear is keeping them close and probably blocking visitation. She isn't doing her children any favors, and again there are great books out there for children of divorce. He should buy a few for his kids (age appropriate). As hard as it is he needs to tell his oldest daughter "This is between your mom and me. I love YOU that will never change no matter who else I love in this lifetime. Don't listen to your mother. Tell her you're a kid, you're not her therapist, and to talk to a grown up about her problems not a KID." He will have a dozen reasons why he can't do this. They are all bullsh*t pardon my French. He has to be a man and do it.



Good luck. One think you know for certain, every dawn brings you one day closer to the final divorce decree. Hang on and it'll get here.

i believe that Jesus gives us who we need in our lives and if he has opened all the doors... of course stop sleeping with him if you in fact are. God will bless you greatly for doing his will. who are we to tell you what is right or wrong that is Gods job and he certainly makes his will known doesnt he?

Your BF needs to be a real man! He promised to love his wife like Christ loves the church. Thank God He doesn't leave us because we treat Him poorly or because He doesn't like us anymore. We are wretched but Christ died for us while we were still sinners. It doesn't matter how horrible she is to him, it's his responsibility to do whatever it takes to make his marriage work. He should be fighting for her with all he can muster. You may think he's a great guy but I say he's a quitter! You are his refuge, of course he's a darling to you. Do you really want to pursue a relationship with someone who wont fight to the death for you? Do you want to be the one that tips the balance that ruins a marriage? I don't think so. My advise it for you to encourage him to fight for his wife and children like a real man and then get away.

The first thing that I would tell you....Is to stop sleeping with the guy.....I know that it is hard to do....But you can do it.....Just stop.....And just date him.....Isn't that the same thing you say.....Well in a way I guess....But at least you will not be haveing sex without marrage...And that is a fae worse sin I think.....Not only that...But he needs a friend right now.....Yes he needs love also....But if you are both practising Christians...Then you will bew able to follow this.....Not only that...But you will get to know him better....and give the family time to get over this lose....



Now about the wife...Well you are going to have to find a way to live with her...if you get marriede that is....But no matter what...You should do nothing to get between him and his kids.....For in the long rn...It will be you that gets hurt if you come between them......Especially with fathers and daughters.......The daughters wiull get you...This I roromise..ANd when it comes to daughters protecting their Daddy...You think a Mama tiger is bad...They are nothing compaired to a daughter protecting their Daddy.....I know this...As I have seen it....My daughters tried to protect their Daddy......And the best thing that happened was that they told the other womans kids....So they knew what their Mom was up to....And that was the begining of the end between them......Moms always hate to look bad in the eyes of their kids.....

I know you don't want to hear this, but leave him alone until the family unit is final. Don't be the other woman. So what if he has problems with his family, let him get through it ALONE. How do you know that he won't do the same to you when he takes you in? If he could do it now, what makes him different later on?