Is This a New Start?


Many of you read my story, "I'm Drawn To Married Men Like a Bad Habit" and will know of what I speak.  Within, I detailed my penchant for married men.  I finally realize that meeting married men just isn't my bad luck.  I've finally concluded that my attraction to married men is evidence of me not wanting to become too involved or vulnerable.  See, with a married man, there's really no wondering.  HE'S NOT MINE.  I guess for a long time, this was easier for me.  Within my last story, I spoke of a new married man I reconnected with.  From the date of our reconnection, I gave myself till October 2nd to deal with him.  He told me he was going to leave his wife and I told him it had to be done by then or I was leaving.  Today is September 19th and today, I told him we could no longer talk until he is divorced.  He told me he loved me and AGREED although it was going to hurt, that it was the right thing to do.  I told him he was never going to leave despite his claims and emotions, HE TOLD ME HE STILL WILL.  He probably won't and I told him this.  I told him that he's going to talk about leaving forever and before he knows, it will be another 5 years.  Anyways, I miss him but know it’s for the best.  As they say, if it’s meant to be, it will be.  I also am realizing it to be extremely peculiar that I only fall in love with the unavailable ones.  Maybe this is because I'm not really ready for a "real" grown up relationship!  C'mon, what is the likelihood that I'd only fall in love with married ones and be pretty much disgusted by all the available ones?  THIS IS NOT COINCIDENTAL!  This marks a new chapter in my life and I can officially remove myself from the "I'm dating a married man" club.

22-25, F
8 Responses Sep 19, 2007

My question is: I've left my MM, but there's not a day that goes by, that I don't think of him. When and how does it get better? I know what he is, and he's a cheater, liar, manipulator and selfish person. How do I start living again and feeling "normal"? Need some support from my online sisters that have been there ... thanks XXX

Congrats on your bravery!!!

be careful of the guilt attacks from him, as in, "i did this for you!" ... it's hard.

I know it hurts, but you really did the right thing girly...when i say girly, me in my friend call each other girly... we are in this together girly and taken a huge step and i'm proud of you. as real women, we dont have to settle for less treatment and respet when we deserve the best treatment and respect! I've dated some really bad men that meant me no earthly good but we all have to learn from our experience and mistakes at some point in our life. However; me being disabled i must really becareful because i've really dated some sorry men that used me and lied to me just to have someone to get over on,And what real men wants to use a woman just because shes disabled and he feels he cant get what he want from her? that is a guy thats to trifling to stand on his own 2 legs and do what a grown men are suppose to do in life.

They never leave. IF they ever DO leave, guess what? They won't stay with you forever, if at all. Voice of experience here. A guy will say ANYTHING he has to say in order to keep the affair going. He won't leave you until he finds a better one, and he will find a better one, just because new is better to most guys. If they DO leave, they will be flat broke, and start depending on YOU for money. Don't think he will be faithful to you either, a cheater is a cheater. The first time is the hardest. Everytime after that is EASY. I've been there. I know... You feel guilty the first time, but not the second, not the third, etc.

I feel the same, ive been attracted by marry man, since.... i got divorce, just because is easier not to get attachments, ive went on a date with some guy, and i remember (he never told me he was married i just figure it out on my own) we had a conversation about gf/bf thing he told me "im just a friend" i hold his hands, looked at him and told him "M you are a great guy, you have so many qualities any girl can fall for you easily, but i know my place, and im glad you know yours, im not looking for anything serious, what we have right now is all i want is all im asking for" since i knew i was moving out of the city, that was so easy, and yes i think about him once and then, and i care for him in a special way, but i didnt had any attachments, now, i think KARMA IS A ***** and its been following me, now that im trying to settle, now that i actually found true love, and its not for me, i have to let him go, im hurt and in so much pain, but it was the right thing to do, and i dont want to do that ever ever again, tho, at least u put your foot down on what u deserve, just remember something ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER

Good for you, hun .. unavailable men are exciting, but eventually.. someone gets hurt.

good for you - i don't know if i will ever have the strength to do it, but know in my heart of hearts that i have to - did he ever leave his wife?

He admitted everything to his wife because he misses his daughter and now she wants a divorce. Interesting.

haha how funny :)

please dont accept him back!