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I'm Dont Want It To Be Over, I Love Him, He's Married And We Got Caught

 

Posted Nov 13th, 2009 at 1:51PM I've been seeing a married man for 18 months now and his wife found out about us a second time but with more info this time. she has suggested counseling. him and I know we should not be in this relationship because it is not pleasing to God. We've mentioned God the whole 18 months but have gotten closer and closer. He has mentioned telling her the entire truth, her and I sit down and talk. I love him and dont want it to be over. He said it's over, and the biggest reason he says it has to be over is because of God and if he continues to see me he does not want it to get ugly. All I keep asking is "Is it really over". We've been here before and it wasnt over, we got closer. But now she knows more and he cant lie his way out like he did the first time. We both have feelings for each other. Is it really over yall? I am in emotional pain and I miss him. He has kids with his wife. but he got into my kids lives too. I want him, I dont want it to be over. Do you all think it's really over? Help me! This hurts! new Ajax.InPlaceEditor('cedit_2764305', '/ajax/edit_entry_comment.php', {rows:5,cols:60,callback: function(form, value) { return 'c=2764305&e=80874&comment=' + escape(value) }});
loveluv loveluv 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 13, 2009

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Let a wife chime in here....<br />
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My husband was in love with a married woman....and she was in love with him......I saw it in his eyes.....I gave up my dreams of owning my own home...For he weanted to go with her on a trip....I knew it was to be with her.....But His mother told me in front of him...that she would give him the money....If I personally made sure to give it back to her....(There went my dreams)...Like I said....I knew of the other woman....but no one else did......<br />
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He got the money to go with her.....But her husband found out....and she put a stop to the trip....<br />
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It has been almost 10 years......They destroyed the relationship between my husband and Our kids....and even though we are still together...(and they are not)....It will never be the same between me and him.....He was so hurtful.....<br />
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Even if he does leave his wife.....You need to leave him.....For let me remind you of this one thing.......He cheated on her with you.....What makes you think tht he will not cheat on you with someone else....<br />
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Cut your loses now....I know that it will hurt for some time.....But you will be better off in the long run

This is part of life, hon. I also dated a married man when I was in my first year of college. I actually thought he'd leave his wife for me - ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, the joke was on me. He had children. I was the one who ended it because I was tired of waiting in the wings for him to find time to see me. His wife and children came first. It took me a little while to figure that out and realize how much I hated it. I deserved something better - someone who was really there for me. You do, too. Learn your lesson from this - no more married men. They're committed to someone else. If you want commitment, and not all women do, go for a guy who's free. You'll have a chance and there'll be less heartache. Best wishes, dear. I hope you feel better soon. It does take a while.

Some of us guys can be real and then not really be real..you understand. You seem young and you will see later on down the road-<br />
You hope somewhere deep inside that he will come to you in the middle of the night and want you to run away with him- or that someone here will encourage you to go after your man and fight for him- And just think you bring God into your conversations together? If he is willing to cheat on her while they are still married- where will that leave you later on down the road-once you become damaged goods?<br />
The only one who can truly understand your pain is God, God knows because god can relate to some of the worst pain imaginable-the pain of hunger- ravaging disease-and even heartbreak ,they all hurt in different ways- You reach out and pray every time you have a heart pang and instead of thinking of some ordinary man who you have carelessly given your heart to ask Jesus to please take your pain away and bring you someone who is right for you when you are truly ready- You pray every day at least once- God will not forsake you if you continue to reach out and pray for an end to your heartache- Ask him to keep that man away from you and tell God how much it hurts to ask him to do that but you know he has a wife who is the mother of his children and she is hurting too- if she wants counseling to save her marriage- You step aside and leave them be- I know it is painful- It is a pain of selfish desire and having that desire fulfilled and then taken away back and forth- Isn't worth it for you. Ask God to show you how to use your capacity to move through this and you will look back one day and see how God has changed something or opened up your mind to allow you to figure it all out. He works in his own mysterious ways. I am not the most moral person but i have seen things that god has done even for me. I have a sister who was so caught up with a guy who promised her he would have offered her the moon if he hadn't offered it to his wife first. She actually would stay at home all day if he said he might call her or drop by before he went on home- Sometimes he would come-most other times not even a phone call. She started drinking heavily- punishing and spiting herself like a spoiled child who felt she deserved this man cause it felt right to her in her heart. It's CRAP with a married dude esp. if they have young kids- You won't ever really have more than a trace of a man. Tell God you are letting him go and although it hurts so bad right now, everyday that passes you will feel it a little less- You are smart enough to share your pain with others and ask for advice- So do the right thing.

I'm in the same boat honey. I was seeing a man for a year, and he just ended it because of his son. I was completely and madly in love with him, and he said all the same things to me. I've not really eaten for two weeks, and I've started smoking again to deal with the stress of it all. I miss him so bad and I still love him so much. But I'm afraid our relationship is really over. he emailed me yesterday and said he still loves me and misses me but this is just something he has to do. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I'm right there with you.

yeah hon seriously... bad territory<br />
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Think if it was your dad eh? The kids come first

Yes it's over.