So Your Dating A Married Too

I've always seemed to get involved with Married men. Ever since I was 19. I got out of a 3 year non-married man relationship and now find myself dating another married man. 

Its interesting...I usually don't find them...they usually find me.....


I think the biggest thing about dating a married man is understanding exactly what is going on. You have to be slightly hard hearted to successfully date someone who is married. 


You have to set ground rules immediately. Here is my list:

1. No talking about the wife once its established that you are in fact married. I don't want to know about how the other day she was driving you crazy. I don't want to know how she is frigid in bed. Details I don't want or need to know. 

2. Communication is necessary. I always say upfront that there will inevitably come a point where one or the other of us wants things to end. That is fine lets just make sure we are all clear about it. 

3. Don't tell me you love me. I don't want to hear that. You love your wife. I'm okay with that. 

4. Don't tell me you will leave your wife for me. You won't. If you decide at some point to leave her that's your choice. Don't tell me anything about it until you've actually filed for divorce. And even so I may not want to be that serious with you so don't leave her for me. 

5. I will see other people. This is a dead end. You can not be so greedy and expect me to see only you. I'm sharing you. You have to put up with sharing me. 

I have found that if I can follow the above rules dating a married man has many advantages. I don't have to answer to him. The sex is typically AMAZING. I can walk away with no harm no foul at any time I choose. I have a back up while looking for someone I want to be serious about. 

So hats off to all the OW out there. 

Bucklebabe85 Bucklebabe85
22-25, F
9 Responses Feb 13, 2010

I rearead this twice. I'm a married woman. No matter what we do, make sure you respect yourself. If you're dating men who aren't available, my question would be why do you value yourself little? Never mind not valuing another woman or family, but why behave do lowly against yourself. He's getting ALL he wants for free. What are you getting? Possible stds, hours and years invested in someone that can go no further than sneaking around...and if hurts her, he'll hurt you in a minute with soneone even hotter. I'm sorry, but it's true. I hope you find a support group with good women and you find a love for yourself that goes beyond your wildest dreams. A woman who loves herself does not hurt herself or others. Be well.

Also, if for no other reason, realize you are worthy of more than sloppy seconds...and ask yourself; Would I teach my daughter to do this? If not, don't do it!

Are you interested in telling your story in a documentary about infidelity? A lot of people would love to hear your point of view! I'd love to discuss the opportunity further. Please email me at

mazel tov to you!!! someone who is keeping it real. Oh you people wielding bibles and your crazy ****. Most scorned women get over it. Men will be men and if they look for someone else, and continue to pursue, cause thats what happens scorned wives THEY PURSUE AND CONTINUE NO MATTER WHAT YOU WANT TO THINK IN YOUR MINDS...they want the excitement, the break of normal boring, they want SEX GREAT SEX they wanna do things they do in **** movies, not the boring 3 mins you can give them. We massage them, stroke their ego, make them feel worthy. They in turn, give us amazing sex, treat us like princesses not princesses Queens!!! and we couldn't give a rats *** if you are 1st 2nd or 3rd. Whats the greatness in being "#1" but YOU ARE treated like #10!! Who cares if holidays he has to be with the wife, we can celebrate another day, its not that big of a deal to the "OW". So I see him December 27 not the 25th boo hoo ...He takes me out, spoils me, its exciting, and mostly we dont have to wash his clothes, which probably has our DNA all over it, we don't have to cook, clean or deal with your husbands bullshit like you have to.. Ive been married, EW NEVER AGAIN ITS SO MUCH BETTER BEING THE OW sorry you can be repulsed all you want the TRUTH HURTS!!!!

You're a repulsive, pathologically narcissistic homewrecker and you're causing a lot of people pain. I hope you throw yourself out a window and then get run over by a lorry because you're a disgusting psychopath and there's no hope for you ever changing your ways at all.

No love,
someone whose dad cheated on her mum with subhuman trash like you

he takes me on trips and he takes her also. when we started dating, he told me never go with some1 who cant make better 4 u.......I repeat, it all comes with mature understanding.

I have been dating a married man for almost 2yrs. we have an understanding despite he acts jealous if I say I'm into some1 else. I know his wife and he is a prominant man where I'm from and I never had thoughts about him leavin his wife because I enjoy what we have now. I know her I speak to her I have no problem with her but once there is no1 after me, there is no problem. he told me he is in love with me first and I went along with it. I do love him, the sex is AMAZING. he never ill talk his wife and I dont also. to me, it all comeswith maturity. its not a godly thing to partake in but we cant help who we fall 4, just know that karma is a *****.

Totally totally agree with all comments. <br />
Keeping the heart under lock and key is a MUST. If he thinks he is in love with you/me then simple. Get a divorce. But..... You cheated on your wife with me, there isno guarantee you won't do same to me???

I would agree with the clear headed but part of that to a degree is keeping the heart under lock and key. That's when these types of situations get ugly is when you wear your heart on your sleeve. Either way I am in agreement.

I love this. Finally someone who forthrightly acknowledges why she’s involved with a married guy. And the answer is … (gasp!) because she LIKES it and gets pleasure out of it. Not because she “can’t help herself” or he “kept insisting he’d leave his wife” and she foolishly believed him.<br />
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This must be illegal, immoral, and sacrilegious. Of course it is – just ask any advice columnist in any mainstream fishwrap; they’ll clue you in -- It will END BADLY; you will end up GETTING HURT; unmarried relationships NEVER WORK. Really? I guess nobody told the French, who seem to have institutionalized the practice without any great detriment to the institution of marriage (check out the photo of Mitterrand’s wife and mistress standing side-by-side at his funeral, along with his sons and “illegitimate” daughter). And their divorce rate is much lower than ours. <br />
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Not hard-hearted, just clear-headed – too much so for most of our current mainstream culture to tolerate, unfortunately, which clings desperately to the fiction that it’s normal and healthy to expect two people to totally, completely, and exclusively satisfy each other’s every need for their entire adult lives. My theory is it’s a government conspiracy to keep us all in a constant state of sexual and emotional repression so we’ll work harder at our jobs just to relieve the frustration. Why not; it worked for the Puritans.<br />
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More power to you, and enjoy the ride.