Crazy...

We met at work two years ago, from day one I knew he was married. He has always been honest  (with me), letting me know that he is married and he has a family. I avoided him for a few months at work, but then it just happened, we ended up going out after wrap and its been history. He has never told me that he is going to leave his wife, but he has made it clear that he is with her because of his two daughters. They are 9 and 11. He admits he got married way too young. When we are together it's unreal, we have too much fun, I have never felt the way I do when I am with him, ever. Just recently both of us threw out the " I Love You." We have tried to end it we both agree it's not right, but it never ends. He says that I see a side of him that no one has ever seen, we connect like no other.  I love this man, I have never felt anything close with prior relationships. Our friendship and bond is strong and real. I know that it's not right, but I dont want to stop. I think part of the reason that keeps me is knowing that he does not want to stop. Any advice or comments would help. Thanks for listening.

elinme23 elinme23
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2010

Elinme, what it is going to boil down to is what can you live with? He is married and he has told you he won't leave his wife so at this point its your call. Either take what you can or walk. It's a rough place to be. Just remember while you're in bed alone he's with his wife. You can't call him when you need him, he can't drop everything to come help you if you need it. <br />
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I've been fortunate. The married man I'm seeing and I aren't in love. We enjoy each others company and bodies and leave it at that. I date other people as I chose. We are both completely aware that either one of us may walk at some point and this will all be a pleasant memory. For you though you're talking about your heart. <br />
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Best of luck.

I was inspired by this story in a weird way, perhaps I can see where you are coming from the least to understand what one is feeling. I believe that if two people are sincerely in love that nothing will come between their love. That they can see eachother years later regardless of what happens and still feel the same. I myself am married to a wonderful man, yet I have a male friend I have always loved very dear the three years I've known him. Of course a friendship love and a deeper connection to extend admitting I do love him and have always loved him. I have known my male friend for almost four years now and lost contact with him when I did marry. A month and a half ago as I was visting an old site I use to go to where a lot of my friends would be my male friend was there. Of course we get to talking, but it was like apart of us regretted we didn't tell eachother how we truly felt soon. We went seperate ways, because of it. And sadly to say I made a decision to move on and marry. We have been continously talking and it's like we're getting to know eachother all over again. And I have always felt in my heart something for this friend that I have never felt with anyone else that deep ever, a burning love. I will honestly say I have been honest with my husband and the few weeks that I did start talking to my male friend I told him. I went back to the past and told him how we meet. How he felt for me and I for him. A big burden a few weeks felt like years not telling him. My husband's and mine relationship is still here. He doesn't want me to talk to my male friend at all and tell him to exclude him from our lives. Yet I can't let go of how I feel inside and I haven't the heart t tell my male friend I am leaving again for more years. I broke his heart when I told him I married and he poured his soul out to me saying how much he loved me and will always love me regardless.<br />
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My point is I can only imagine how he feels with me being married, perhaps the way you feel with dating a married person. I am loyal wife to my husband I have never cheated, or have ever thought to do such a careless act (not judging people). He's in the military branch and has even deployed this will be his second time soon. I could not do such a useless or pointless rational decision to hurt him in such a way. What I'm trying to say is there's nothing wrong with what you said, but maybe he should act upon what he is feeling. If he loves you truely he will tell his wife the truth and from there perhaps one of a couple things will happen; 1. They will divorce and it doesn't always have to be a bad thing. And there daughters will accept there father still loves them, but is truly happy with the decision with you. 2. They will divorce and their family will break apart. Doesn't mean he still can't see ways for how it is and still be in his daughters lives.<br />
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The number one thing in life is being happy with your life if that takes a number things to get there then so god help you you'll get there. I hope this has been helpful for you. If you have the time I would like to hear back from you. Thank you.