Fell Fast And Hard, Now It's Just Not Working...

I didn't realize i would have to write my story. It hurts too much right now. I knew him years ago but not as dating.
He was married 26 years and she was ill 6 years.He claimed he had years to grieve before hand, but I don't think that could be enough

When we connected 3 months after LW passed, I was to help him sort things of hers, send things to kids, etc.
We became close, then he really poured it on. I was  single over 10 years helping with caretaking family of my own.
I kept telling him, wait! Come back in a few years you can't possibly love me as you say you do.  I had prayed for the right guy after being alone so long, and he really seemed like the one.

It's hard to go into this story fully, yet, for me.  We went through some hard things, but really seemed to love each other.  I tried to be patient, sympathetic, although he rarely talks about LW, only to friends when i'm not around.  I'm pretty sure of this.  He spends lots of times with old friends.  He did remove and store pictures and alot of things from house but I lived with all but pictures for a few years till lately.

It got rocky, but we truly loved each other, I believe, but it has just gotten where as I started to want to paint the bedroom,  put up my own pictures,( this is his and LW house) save $ together, be a "couple" an "us" couple, he drew away.

LW has been gone 3 1/2 yr   I have lived with SO (widower) 3 yr at least.

It has been falling apart. I feel like a fool, like I knew better, like he couldn't have been ready. I am hurt beyond words as this is not how he promised it would be. I am staying apart right now, but see no hope. My heart hurts. The only contact I made with him in the last 10 days is that I need to get my things from his place. He wants to sit down and talk, says this is harder than his loss of LW, and I simply told him, I will see you when I can handle it to take care of things I need to move.
He has changed,I know, I know, he wasn't ready, and I am a fool.
There's as much as I can share. Thanks and I will check back and hopefully share more.  Thanks for listening, I just feel like a fool.  I don't know if I will ever trust again and I'm not getting any younger.  I'm okay being alone, but I really fell for all he told me.
hurtinginnc hurtinginnc
56-60, F
1 Response May 22, 2012

Sorry, you feel this way. I too feel the same sometimes, I'm still with my W we have been together for 2 years, it has not been easy. If I can help in any way I'm here for you, If you just want to vent, talk etc. I feel your pain.