Well, I feel I'm progressing.. The biggest struggle I have is believing a person finds me attractive (mind and body) and not jumping to unhelpful conclusions because of that uneasiness.

I've learned (or more accurately, become aware of again) a lot about how I want to function in a relationship. As much as I do have expectations for how I will be treated, I also have expectations for how I will be given the space to express myself. I like to share. I like to pursue. If you tell me something small, I remember it. That isn't because I'm overly invested too quickly, already naming future babies and such. It's because I pay attention to detail, and it is my nature to focus on the person in front of me--whether a friend or family or new dating prospect.

I THINK I may have found a man who truly appreciates these traits of mine. We've only been on a few dates, but I like him more all the time. Our interactions have been direct and open. Early on, we had a difference of expectations regarding communication, which led to me getting my feelings hurt. When I told him as much, he didn't get defensive. He validated my feelings, asserted his intentions, and it all ended rather happily. Such a HUGE difference from my ex, where I dreaded making any complaint as I knew I'd feel at least as bad if not worse when all was said and done.

Things haven't yet become physical with this new man, but I like where we're at. It is sometimes difficult to keep from those old assumptions, but I feel this man is the right kind of challenging for me.

Dating aside, I've got a pretty solid friend-base going on. Got my own activities and such. It's good. I still get terribly lonely sometimes, but I've got people I can turn to. I definitely do not want to be in a position where I rely on a romantic relationship to fix that for me. I'm feeling rather self sufficient in my way. Hope to hold on to that.
liltree liltree
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 16, 2014

Happy to see you're moving forward. Best of luck.

Sounds like you are handling things with wisdom and sanity. Good luck!

Lol. I hope so. :)