I loved my late husband very much, but he was impotent when I married him (I believed that he would seek treatment, but when I went to the Dr. with him once after we married, it was apparent he had not actually inquired, but the pills didn't help).

After awhile he stopped even touching me sexually as it was too upsetting to him. (no consideration of whether his refusal was upsetting to me). I asked more than once if it would be OK if I went outside the marriage for sex and he said no, it would hurt him too much (I am not good at deception and if he couldn't tell I just had sex on my two hour "trip to the grocery", he would have to be blind).

3 months after he passed it occurred to me that I could have sex again. I found someone online who seemed to be relative intelligent and seemed to be into sex.

Low and behold after about a month he starts being "too tired" or "not feeling well". If he can't get it up, I don't get anything more than a hug.

He was also trying to be manipulative in non-sexual ways.
Now I may be susceptible to manipulation in general, but you have to be a lot more subtle than he was.

I am enough of a cynic to think that he saw "recent widow" in my dating profile and thought "aha, I can play mind games with her".
cmeyerhoefer cmeyerhoefer
51-55, F
2 Responses Aug 23, 2014

I suggest individual therapy for you to figure out how to be attracted to men who are sexually able. Your marring and staying with an impotent man was not just bad luck.

And possibly, mooch off you too.