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I Am Head Over Heels In Love With My Old Man.

I am 20 yrs old, and my boyfriend is 51. That's a 31 yr age difference. But its something I NEVER notice. We met at the bar I used to bartend at. He travels back and forth a lot for his job. We get to see each other every week, but still spend some days apart. We've been together for about 6 months now. Our sex life is mind blowingly amazing, the best I've ever had!! I have never been so in love in my life. I know I'm only 20 but I've had my share of so called 'loves'. Everytime the words 'I love you' are said this undescribable feeling overwhelms me and I just can't get enough of it. It feels so good!! He just told me the other day that he's never felt the way he feels about me before. He even said I got him all messed up. Lol. It made me smile because I know I'm not the only crazy in love one in the relationship. I've never been treated the way he treats me before, and I absolutely love it!! He is the sexiest silver fox I've ever seen in my life. He's sexier than these 20somethins I know. He has been married twice, but no kids. I'm really starting to want to be with him for the rest of my life. But I'm uncertain if he would ever consider getting married again. I really want to have kids with him as well. I'm not sure how to bring these topics up to him. I'm nervous because I don't want him to reject the ideas. But I would also love for everything to happen sooner than later. He wants me to move in with him once my lease is up. And there is no way in hell I would say no to that. Being able to live with him would be amazing!! Other than the whole baby and marriage thing, everything is perfect, and I wouldn't change a thing!! Any advice on how to approach those subjects?? He is the only older man I've been with.
adawnell3937 adawnell3937 18-21, F 27 Responses Dec 18, 2010

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In my oinion if you are questioning it you are in secure about your own relationship. I have been dating an older man for 2 years now and would never ask for someone else's opinion or acceptance. Others are suggesting they need to tell their parents how old he is? Age shouldn't matter when it comes to the person you love and are meant to be with. I dont think you should ever have tointroduce someone and follow it up with anything but their name. Age, sex, religion, color should all be irrelevant when it comes to the one you love.

I'm 27 and my man is 53! Age means nothing!! And I love him dearly

you are lying..i know you are impersonating because no 20 years would use words such as "Silver fox"" .
imagine that...Soon he will be the sexiest "Silver Fox " in a nursing home.

I am 19 and he is 48...and I love every moment of our time together:)

How did you guys meet? I'm kind of in the same situation and in really confused

I'm 43 and in a relationship with an 18 year old. If he loves, respects and treats you well give it a chance. I know it's confusing, it is for me sometimes too. I know you're gonna be fine. ❤️

I'm 43 and in a relationship with an 18 year old. If he loves, respects and treats you well give it a chance. I know it's confusing, it is for me sometimes too. I know you're gonna be fine. ❤️

My boyfriend is 18 years older then me. when we first got together i had similiar thoughts. he has two children and a wife but they are seperaed in the middle of divorce. after a couple of months when he told me he wanted to be with me forever i was like i do to. i told my friend of my worrys about marriage and of wanting children one day. she talked me into bringing it up to him i did. he said he loves me wants to be with me forever and that he would give me anything i wanted to be happy. i would try telling him you love him and want to be with him forever but you do want children and marriage one day, if he loves you he will give them things to you.

Many younger women are looking to date older yuys, mainly because older guys are relatively more successful in career and understand better how to treat their women. Many couples with age gap work out fine and get alone splendidly.
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i am dating an older man too we have been together since i was 18 and he was 40 people i talk to dont understand why i wanna be with him but when its me and him its amazing

Am 23 and my boyfriend is 43. This the best relationship I have ever had he is everything to me and he treats me like a queen. I need friends who are in the same situation. Send me ur email address

You are all making a mistake. Old men going after 20 year olds are predators. They are using you for their own perverted reasons. You give them the impression that they are still young; why do they need that unless there is something wrong with them? Think about it. The fr<x>ame of reference of a young person is totally different from their parents, or grandparents. This is as it should be. Other than maybe sex what can possibly keep you together over the long run? <br />
<br />
If your lover has a heart attack or gets cancer or Parkinson's disease or Alzheimer's are you going to waste your youth taking care of him? You will want a home, a family,a future. You want to stay out late, dance, laugh with your girlfriends, paint your nails, plan wedding showers and be bridesmaids. Marry an old coot and you will be cut off from so much.<br />
<br />
Have a baby with these men and the child won't grow up with their biological father. What 65 year old wants to coach little league or change diapers and deal with baby things on a regular basis? That's what grandhildren are for. The average males lives to be about 78. To you that has to seem very old. I am 58 and there is no way I would want to be with a 78 year old. A man my age or a bit older starts to experience physical changes; less muscle, less testosterone, more body fat, hair growing out of the ears and noses. They don't have the energy of a man your age and even if they are energetic for their age that won't last long. Most of them are on pills for high blood pressure or high cholesterol or diabetes or have heart disease or orthopedic problems. <br />
<br />
You will want to run like hell from them when they get sick and you should because you are all young women and should want a normal life. You can't have that with a man old enough to be your father or grandfather. Imagine how their 30 something year old kids feel. Like their father is a "dirty old man" or a fool or maybe has a brain tumor clouding their judgement. Get yourselves into therapy and rid yourself of your addiction. Something is off with both you and these men. Run while you can.

Wow you played that all out in your head all by yourself? I think they should all listen to you. An old man that thinks inside the box!

Hi there, I hope its OK that I'm reaching out, but I'm casting for a new series for Discovery Fit and Health called Daughter Confessional- where daughters are ready to share with their parents a big secret/ life change/ or something they need to let their parents know in order to move on with their own lives. If you think you'd be interested in being part of this, please check out www.mysecretcasting.com

I'm 21 and my partner is 59, we have been madly in love for 2 years. He is my everything! Totally feel you girly xxxxxxx

Hi there, I hope its OK that I'm reaching out, but I'm casting for a new series for Discovery Fit and Health called Daughter Confessional- where daughters are ready to share with their parents a big secret/ life change/ or something they need to let their parents know in order to move on with their own lives. If you think you'd be interested in being part of this, please check out www.mysecretcasting.com

I am really happy for you, girl!! I am in a similar relationship, except I haven't said "yes" to being his gf... I feel like an ******* for not giving him an answer.. but the truth is I love him and I want him so bad, so I think that answers the question! lol Anyway! I had an opportunity to move in with him, and the communication of having babies and getting married have been mentioned because we have been so open with each other (but no concrete plans to do either), but I chose not to. Because we talked about it and people who are interested in each other who move in together more than usually break up. There are numerous studies saying 60% of those attempts of living together fail (if you're not married). He treats me so well, I admire his humility, and want to improve myself to be the best with him, so living away from each other seems to be the best option for us. There are always exceptions though!**~!*!~* Enjoy!*~*~!

Hi there, I hope its OK that I'm reaching out, but I'm casting for a new series for Discovery Fit and Health called Daughter Confessional- where daughters are ready to share with their parents a big secret/ life change/ or something they need to let their parents know in order to move on with their own lives. If you think you'd be interested in being part of this, please check out www.mysecretcasting.com

wow...i'm really happy to read this post and we are here coz we have some problem..who are in love with old man which is twice our age...i'm 22 years old and he is 44 years old...and his son in same age with me..i just have date with him for a month, but i really doubt with my relationship, is it wrong or not..but i know its nothing wrong...but i really in love with him, but i still thinking what people may have say about me...

Hi there, I hope its OK that I'm reaching out, but I'm casting for a new series for Discovery Fit and Health called Daughter Confessional- where daughters are ready to share with their parents a big secret/ life change/ or something they need to let their parents know in order to move on with their own lives. If you think you'd be interested in being part of this, please check out www.mysecretcasting.com

This totally hit home. I'm dating someone I've been friends with for four years. Hes 22 yrs my senior. (I'm 25). We've been dating now for a year and its great! I don't have any "daddy" issues and I'm not a gold digger. (Actually...I love taking care of myself.) We didn't "look" for each other...we just realized that we wanted to be more than friends. And here we are. :)

Hi there, I hope its OK that I'm reaching out, but I'm casting for a new series for Discovery Fit and Health called Daughter Confessional- where daughters are ready to share with their parents a big secret/ life change/ or something they need to let their parents know in order to move on with their own lives. If you think you'd be interested in being part of this, please check out www.mysecretcasting.com

me too :) im dating an 53 year old guy, and really in love with him.. i will be 22 this year<br />
first, it was hard...........<br />
but now, i dont care on what ppl may have said about me.

Hi there, I hope its OK that I'm reaching out, but I'm casting for a new series for Discovery Fit and Health called Daughter Confessional- where daughters are ready to share with their parents a big secret/ life change/ or something they need to let their parents know in order to move on with their own lives. If you think you'd be interested in being part of this, please check out www.mysecretcasting.com

OK...here is from a 53 year old man who is starting to get involved with a 29 year old woman, who is also just a few years older than my daughter. I've read your coments and find them comforting. Since this has never happenned before I have all the likely apprehensions one might expect. What happens when I am so old and she is barely arriving at middle age? How do I compete with all those young hardbodies who constantly want to date her? Am I robbing her of her youth? <br />
<br />
You ladies have probably been all through this. So it is now the elder who seeks the wisdom of you young ladies...since you are obviously farther along this road than we are as yet.

i can add you to msn..if you have/want...

Do you 2 have facebook?<br />
... So we don't have to chat on here anymore :]

Dosn't it!?<br />
I love it. We've been together for almost 2 years now. Everyone knows about us.<br />
He has 1 daughter. Whos also older then me lol

Hi there, I hope its OK that I'm reaching out, but I'm casting for a new series for Discovery Fit and Health called Daughter Confessional- where daughters are ready to share with their parents a big secret/ life change/ or something they need to let their parents know in order to move on with their own lives. If you think you'd be interested in being part of this, please check out www.mysecretcasting.com

thanks for your input mandy..."baby talk" has come up between my man and i ...he said he's ok with it but he warned me that he does not forsee having the energy and the patience. he's had three kids already .(.which one is older then i am) lol....anyway...i have told one of my close friends about me seeing an older guy and he was ok with it..which i could not be happier about..it feels really good to finally be able to tell someone about how happy he makes me!

I know were you're coming from. Its nerve racking!<br />
But, actually, I recently brought it back up to my boyfriend, because the subject hasn't been brought up in sometime, and the clocks tikin'! And, he said hes scared about having a baby, because hes 55, & he wants to be there for his child. And at the same time hes old enough to be its grandfather!<br />
I understand where hes coming from, but he knew what he was getting into, because I was totally honest with what I wanted right from the beginning.<br />
(Btw, its not like we met, & I said "I want kids!" We were good friends for a long time before we took the next step to actually be together)<br />
He also knows I'm not willing to give children up. I love him to death, but that would kill me. Being a mother is something I always knew I wanted.<br />
Anyway, we've been talking alot more about it, & the more we talk about it, the more I think it helps him to come around. Not to mention, just talking about it makes me so happy :]<br />
<br />
So, on another note, have you moved in with your man yet?

No I haven't yet. I was thinking about waiting a couple months before I brought it up. I just got a second job and am starting school tomorrow. I figured if we can make it through a couple months of this, it should definitely show that we are ment to be together. I'm not in a rush right at the moment either. But I know I would love to get married and have a baby within the next 2 or 3 years at least. And I definitely know I want all that to be with him and only him. I really just don't want to scare him off since its only been 6 months too. I'm not gonna lie, everytime I think about telling him I get soooo nervous. Lol.

Adawnell, I couldn't agree with you more.<br />
Have you talked about the whole marriage & baby thing yet?

I was honest and straight forward with my mom, dad and stepdad. They were the only ones I felt deserved or needed to know. My mom is a little more understanding. My dads refuse to talk about it. They obviously think its wrong. I'm not with my boyfriend for them. I'm not trying to make them happy. Its about me. Yes its hard not having my family to support me all the time. But in the end its about what makes me happy. If they can't accept that then they don't deserve me in their lives. We can't control what others think or feel, just ourselves. We aren't hurting anybody by dating our older men. And the people who are hurt by it are obviously a little to invested in everything but themselves.

Hi Mia133,<br />
I was planning on telling my family the calm, cool & collected way. But, it didn't happen like that.<br />
I had just moved back to be with this man (who happended to be a family friend) and I left my phone down stairs at my moms house, and it went off. So she picked it up, and there was a text that said "I love you" . And, all hell broke loose. Thats how it came out. Most of my family is not okay with us being together. And, the rest just couldn't care less.<br />
I love him, & I'm extremly happy. What I've learned through this experience is to live your life for you. No one else. Do what makes you happy. No regrets.<br />
Thats what I'm doing, & I couldn't be happier.<br />
<br />
Email me, I'd love to hear more about you & your relationship.<br />
AmandaLynn90@gmail.com<br />
Thanks<br />
Mandy

I'm also seeing someone 30years older then i am...i'm wondering..how did you explain this to your family ?...did you tell them?. if so, how did they respond?

Hey there! I'm 20, and beloved boyfriend just turned 55! So simalure!<br />
We've been together for about 2 years. We live together, and used to talk about this whole marrage & baby thing alot. Hes been married once before, and has a daughter who is older then me. lol<br />
I suggest honesty. You need to be clear, & explain to him what you want in life. I was up front & honest with my boyfriend right from the beginning. I would love to get married to him, however, having a baby is my biggest thing. I want that more then anything, ever since I was a little girl. I'm not willing to sacrafice that. He knows this, & he has told me he wants that too.<br />
Write back & tell me more about you! Its rare to find someone in the same situation!<br />
-Mandy