I'm Obsessed With A Younger Woman

I'm a 50 year old man that could pass for early 40s. I'm seperated from my wife.  There's a girl at work that is 30 and I believe she's been kind of flirty with me for a while. Well, when my wife and I seperated I really came on to her. But I must have scared her off because I got all mushy in an e-mail to her. She said she was angry because I spelled out her whole life for her in the e-mail. I only shared my romantic visions and hopes with her and she got mad. I really goofed so she told me to stop texting and calling. But she left the door open to talking at work which we do as small talk.  She is still friendly but leary of me. I really feel that I screwed up my chances with her. Does anyone have advice for me?
Imhereurthere Imhereurthere
41-45, M
3 Responses Feb 14, 2012

Dude, not to be crass, but what are you? 50 going on 15? You got a crush on a woman who could be your daughter and came on to her at work? Not cool! I get that you want to leave your wife, but srsly! Get the divorce then find somebody closer to your own age. I don't see a woman that age into being handed a 10 year old kid, but what do I know. I looked at this page because I'm 29 and into a girl in college. At least we were born the same decade. BUT, if you really think you and this younger woman have a shot at least get out of your marriage first. If your both religious then I'm guessing that she won't want to even consider a relationship until you are.

I never meant for anyone here to take what I posted personally. I was only trying to offer you a different point of view. I agree with the commenter who said there is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings and showing real interest in someone. This young lady just seems like she's not ready for someone as sensitive and open as you were. Or, it may be as you suggested, she was turned off by such a strong show of emotion.<br />
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I also want to add, that I am in no way against prayer. However, I do believe that after careful consideration and prayer, you should decide on a course of action. If your wife hasn't mentioned divorce and is interested in reconciling, it is unfair to leave someone you have cared for so long in the dark. The other commenter was right to say that ending such a long relationship for something that may be only temporary is a life-changing decision. Choose actions that will reflect what will make you happy in the long term.<br />
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I know my reactions may seem strong to some but, I just have a firm opinion about love at any age. Age should never be the deciding factor when it comes to your feelings on anything. Sorry, if I came on a little harsh because of that. I wish you every happiness in whatever path fits for you. And yes, a lot of prayer and soul-searching never hurts anyone :)<br />
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Martha, I don't think your reactions are strong at all. And I know you are addressing all that have commented here, not just me. I agree wholeheartedly with you about just praying with no action. I think we are physical beings and God means us to take action whenever it's possible. In my opinion God is guidance in truth, but we must act on the truths that are gradually exposed to us. Your words are of great comfort to me, and I really enjoy speaking with you and everyone here.

I think it's important to think of your own feelings. I'm not going to sit here and preach to you about God like everyone else did. No one is perfect, and the last time I looked just praying about something didn't solve the problem. That's what action is for, use the old adage God helps those who help themselves. If your wife cheated and you are ready for the marriage to be over, do that. Don't worry about hypocrites who judge others instead of sweeping their own front porch. If you want to work on your marriage and continue with your wife, take the steps necessary to make that work..ie..marriage counseling or yes, even a pastor or spiritual adviser. However, I do agree with one thing; never try starting a new relationship before you have closed the door on the last one. <br />
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And yes, you came on a little strong with your young lady at work. She is probably still a little immature and not ready to see the future in such definite terms.

This is good advice. Thanks for offering me this perspective.