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24 + 42 = 18

I am dating a man who is 18 years older than me; he is 42 and I am 24. We met at work as we work in different companies (sister companies from the same group) but on the same floor. He is been in the company since I joined, 3 years ago but he felt something towards me around a year go and last July he expressed his feelings. I never thought he is 42, I always thought he is late 30ies as he is very stylish and good looking and he never thought I am 24, he always tells me I sound and act much older and that I am different than those girls from my generation.
I like him a lot and now I do love him. He proposed and he always tells me you are my fiance so technically I am engaged.
He met my parents although my dad doesn't agree with this but he said "I will meet him as long as you insist". He still doesn't agree although he said that the man looks really decent and I love my dad a lot, I don't wanna loose my relation with the guy and I also want my parents to accept the idea and agree. I tried to let my 2 brothers meet him but they are as well against the idea. They told me do what you want but we don't think this is right.
Sometimes when I hear my dad's view on the matter and my brothers' comments I get really scared and confused. I feel totally lost.
Do you think it is ok to get married to a guy that older than me? And what shall i do to convince my parents and brothers?
LittleRoni LittleRoni 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 24, 2013

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If you love him and you and he are compatible go ahead, everybody deserves happiness.

I am 22 and my boyfriend is 45 I think of the same thing when im 45 he will be almost 70 however I look at his mom and see how great she looks and how good she moves around and it doesnt feel so creepy ... I am madly in love with him no one has every made me feel the way I do....yes we are still young but you cant stop loving someone just because of what others think including your parents .go with your gut ...I know I have the same thoughts but then I think of life without him and I cant.... your parents will come around expecially if u show them that you care so much about him. Age is just a number go with your gut :)

LittleRoni,

I am 47 and my girl is 26. Its difficult for us sometimes, but we care about each other alot. I workout everyday and eat healthy. I have decided that I want to live a long time for her and us. I know its tough for her sometimes and I feel bad. But I try to ignore it the best I can and make sure she is happy. She comes from a broken home, her dad has cancer and he is in his early 70's (thank goodness for me!).

Somehow, the family has accepted me, they are poor and live in South America. I live there as well with her. Life is tough down here, I work remotely as a software engineer and I am divorced with no kids. We want to have kids, I hope we can. Our love is very strong, the strongest I have ever had, and she is so passionate, and terrible when she gets upset!

She loves to dance so I go dancing with her and I stay out until 5am when necessary, she owns her own beauty salon and is drop dead gorgeous. Guys always hit on her.

I wish the very best for you and don't let anyone tell you how to live.

Thank you very much for your comment, I really appreciate it and appreciate the message even more. You seem like a wonderful guy and I am sure your girl is so lucky.
I love my sweetheart a lot and so far everything is good, I do get these weak moments and I do get stressed about it but the last 2 weeks I am in good shape and that's the longest period I have been in good shape :) I feel good about it.

I also have 18 years between me and my partner. I'm 21 hes 39... does it bother you that he will be 70 when you're a ripe 52? thats what freaks me out when I think about our future

It does freak me out .... A LOT.
When i am with him everything seems perfect and I don't feel the difference or think about it but when I am alone in my room after a long day at work, I think of all these negative thoughts and get lost, especially that i am a family girl and no one from my family is supporting me on this.
I am scared of letting him go and then regret it :( I wish I can reach to a solution with myself. Share with me more info about your relation (maybe by a message), we may be able to help each other out :)

Thanks a lot for those who shared their views. Just to answer your question buddhawannabe, we have been together for 6 months now but I have known the guy in total for 3 years. And regarding the "dancing out with same aged friends", I am different from those people in my age. I am not a partying, clubbing, drinking, smoking, doing fun things just for the sake of an experience. I am much older than my age :) But of course you have a point to consider.

Go for it girl...hope you have fun and a great relationship.

Is there anything but the age gap that bothers you? Just want to make sure, because, it gives him more of an opportunity for control ( not saying he does that ) but just would like some more information. In terms of how old you will be when he is well into old age, I guess that is for you and only for to weigh up, and as the song goes, how deep in your love? Thanks for the post