My Perfect Man With Develops.

I am in a relationship with a wonderful, thoughtful and sweet 55 years old man. He has been married twice and also had three children, But he wants more children. I really do love him, but I am so confused. I just want to do the right thing for me and my future.

Is that to much to ask for?

I would never do it, but he says, because he wants to "give" me a child to remember of him, the time, that we were together. Every time, we talk about it, he gets a little emotional and cries a little. I think, this mean a great deal for him. Because he wants to be with me and he truly cares about me and my future. 
He wants to give the possibility of being a mother and get the experience. 
I think it´s very noble of him to think so highly of me. He really does mean it. And that is what scares me so much, he is serious about everything, what he tells me. 
I want a child with him, but I did tell him, that I am willing not having a child with him. I am a little jealous of him, because he had the chance of experience it. Why does he creates it into a big deal? 
I guess, I am looking for answers, that I can´t find in my own relationship. 
I believe that, everything happens for a reason and this goes for us as well. I guess, I am lucky to be with a open minded and sweet man,who wants to be with me and loves me very much.


We have only been together for four month, where we were dating in two months and after Christmas, we were a couple. 

My family has already accepted him and "talked" with him. They like him a lot and they do really welcomed him to our family. 

We have talked about moving in together in April, so around in that time, have we been together "roughly" 6 months. 

I have my life and future to think about. I often think about, how does he fit into my life. I want to involve him to my life, and make him as an important priority for my future. 
I am in a weird stage, where I am unemployed and looking for job. I am aiming for to going studying and getting my degree.
He has been so supportive and wonderful.
The best part of all this, is that his family has already accepted me and welcomed me into their lives. They have been to sweet and kind to me, and they are like my family and I love them all. 

I still feel like there are some loose ends, which I need to resolve soon as possible. Why is that? 

FaroesePearl FaroesePearl
31-35, F
5 Responses Jan 25, 2013

Best wishes for many years of love together!

i would personally try and resolve loose ends before going ahead and deciding to have a child with him. It seems like it would just make things easier, no? But good luck to you!

I know you are right. But I feel that all my loose ends are resolved now. I am so happy. I would not be more happier than I am right now. We were together this weekend, and suddenly, I got a sort of wake up call, and realized that I was only in fear and I can get it much better, if I would only lose of the fear.
So that is what I did.
And today, I am a free woman!

Thank you for the comment.
Take care
- Marin.

No worries. Glad to know you've worked things out!

Big difference :( Hope someone else can comment so that you and I can get another point of view :)

I am 28 years old.

I think you are scared from the future, your future with him. You are scared that he will get ill and then you will have to take care of him or if he passes away before you do then you will be in your own and you will miss him. I am kind of facing the same fear and I wish I can get rid of it. In your story, you mentioned his age but you didn't mention your age. How old are you?

I would like to share with you, that I was only living in fear, but everything is resolved and I am no longer afraid of the future.
I have a man, who loves me, who I am and that is all I need to know of the present.

Thank you for your comment.
Take care
- Marin.