18 Years Apart

From the first time I set eyes on him, I knew he was the one.  I had never imagined I would date someone so much older than I--especially someone I have so much in common with.  I've always considered myself an "old soul" and he has always been described as "ageless."  We always seem to be on the same level and are both extremely introverted.  I have a strange and quirky sense of humor, as does my love.

The hardest part of all of this has been letting my friends and family know, because I had no idea how they would react.  All of my friends have been extremely supportive and think that he is the nicest guy.  As far as my parents go, I have yet to tell them.  I currently rely on them financially, due to my being a college student and do not wish to put the burden of loan payments on my boyfriend if I were to tell them now.  Honestly, I want nothing more than to let the world know, including my parents, no matter what the consequence.  Every day I dream of a future where I no longer have to lie about and hide my situation.  I know for a fact that my parents will not agree with our relationship.  My boyfriend also feels that I should wait at least until next year to bring it out in the open because of this.  He has already proposed to me, so I am technically his fiancee--but cannot wear the ring (only when I am with him I can).

I am grateful to have found this online community to share my story with.  Finally, I have found others who truly understand.

littlelulu littlelulu
7 Responses Aug 14, 2008

My response might be too late but I wanted to post it anyway. Anyone who is okay with you being dishonest does not have your best interest at heart. He should have been willing to tell your parents and the world that you are his person regardless of the consequences. He took advantage of you and let you carry on with "I do not do not wish to put the burden of loan payments on my boyfriend if I were to tell them now". BS!!

Hi I'm 29 my partner is 47 I love him to bits and am truly happy. My mums excepts it but my dad is totally against and only because of he's age. He looks after me well and I adore him, but that doesn't make a difference to my dad, I'm not allowed to bring him to family functions etc because my dad says it will embarrass him and the family. I hate being excluded from the family, but I love this man don't know what to do :(

I am facing the same problem now. He is 18 years older than me and I told my parents. My dad is totally against it, mom is confused. You posted this in 2008, any updated since then? Any advice you can share with me?

I am 20 years old dating a 39 year old. He is such a gentlemen , very intellectual and also very honest and caring. I don't look 20, everyone say I look 16 and when we hold hands in public there's a lot of whispers and we get bad looks. This is making me feel bad ,

Same here. I'm 23, he's 42! I love him very much. Most close friends know and my two older sisters but no one else in my family knows, ESPECIALLY MY PARENTS. I figure I'll wait until we have been together for at least a year, then that way, there's sort of a significant time fr<x>ame and no one can really say anything. By then, we should be pretty concrete.

I am in the same boat. Ive alway been with oler men but not 18 years older than myself. I have the most fun with him and see myself with him for a very long time. Ive told my mom and my mom has met him but she hasnt said a word to my dad because my dad has a younger brother who is the same age as my boyfriend so im taking it slow with breaking the news to my family. I know they will be happy as long as I am happy ( at least thats what i hope).

I hope it works out for us too...God bless you both!!!