Love My Older Husband
My husband is 20 years older than me and is my dream man. I met him at work back in the mid 90s and loved how refreshingly mature and drama free he was. I had dated a string of guys about my age (mid twenties at that point) and they were nice and everything, but there was just something lacking. I felt so much older than them and like I was the relationship coach or something. It just wasn't appealing.
I think I've always like older guys. My first boyfriend was only four years older than me, but he was very, very mature for his age. I kept trying to connect with guys my own age, but it was a failure every time. I just couldn't relate all that well to them and eventually the infatuation faded. All my crushes were on older guys. They were always the ones I dreamed about.
One of the things that I love the most about my husband is that he's experienced everything that I'm experiencing and he's able to guide me through it. I spent way too much time growing up having to figure out everything on my own and it was stressful and painful. My husband always knows what I'm going through and supports me. He has the patience, wisdom and kindness that only come with age.
I feel more loved, more appreciated and more understood in this relationship than I have in any other relationship I've had in my life. He sees me as I am and loves me unconditionally. He accepts that I'm a flawed human being. He's never given me the feeling that he was just biding his time with me until some better came along. He's thoughtful and kind and caring. He treats me like a princess and I've defintely thrived from having him in my life.
I had my concerns when I was getting together with him. I was worried about him dying before me and being a widow for a significant part of my life. It's still not a prospect that I like thinking about, but I came to the conclusion that I'd rather have 20 good, happy years with someone who treats me really well than a lifetime with someone wouldn't get me the way he does and wouldn't be nearly as good.
I also worried a lot about what people would think about our relationship and the assumptions people would make. I still worry about that sometimes, probably more now than I used to. I kind of gave up caring what people thought of me along time ago, which made it a lot easier to get into the relationship. I just started introducing him to my friends and my family and with expectation that they'd see what a great person he is and that's pretty much what happened. I think I worry about it more now because I've gotten a bit more conservative since I've gotten older, but I still basically don't care. I was worried about what my parents would think of our relationship, but that had absolutely no problems accepting him. My mom's only question about it was if the age difference would make it hard for us to find things in common, but that's never been an issue. People who don't know us probably make all kinds of stupid assumptions, but so what? They don't know us. The only person who has ever said anything negative about us was this guy I used to work with who said "You finally found yourself a sugar daddy." Yeah, I was pretty floored by that comment, especially since I was out earning him at that point, but after I thought about for a minute I realized that that comment said a whole lot more about the guy who said it than it did about my or about my relationship with my husband.
I'm glad I'm with someone older. I feel like he's my soul mate. He's been the greatest gift I've been given in this life and I love my life with him.