It's Not So Much That I'm Depressed. . .

It's more that I just don't feel anything. Not happiness or sadness. I feel like I'm just going through the motions. When people say something that's supposed to be funny, I have to force myself to laugh. Or when my friends and family talk about their troubles, I have to make myself look interested and look like I understand and feel sorry for them. I rarely feel alive anymore. It seems the only way I can get rid of this dead feeling for a little while is to do something stupid and reckless. This is the reason why I constantly have to put myself in danger; driving too fast, drinking too much, making risky decisions; all so that I can feel alive again for just a brief moment. I know I'll probably end up getting myself killed, but I just can't seem to make myself care.

Bakerbaker19 Bakerbaker19
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 12, 2010

Floating. That's a good way to describe it. Almost like you're not teathered to people or places or life in general the way that you should be; the way that other people are.

I feel like this too.<br />
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Almost like I'm just floating in life. But unlike you, I can't put myself in danger to feel more alive, I'm too scared. That's really the only emotion I every feel. Fear.<br />
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And then when I am called to do something, I can't because I've lost touch with reality.<br />
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My life just seems so hopeless.<br />
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-x