I Am Dead
What will you do if you failed so many times? Can't find a new start? Are totally lost?
Well here is my life story briefly:
I'm 16 this year, and 3 years back I was very rebellious, I didn't think straight, I never expected things would turn out this way. I've been through a fair bit, skipped school, got into fights, did drugs, practically anything gave me excitement. My life revolved around this group of "friends" for about a year, till I had just passed my 14 birthday . After some disagreements, i slowly lost contact with them, some decided they had other friends, others went to prison. Maybe it was for good, but I realized, i was left with nothing. Soon after, i was expelled, I decided to change for the better, I promised myself to work hard, any not build my life on friends and relationships, but something that would be of use to me.
I found a place in a private school where we can study at out own rate, been there for 2 years now, and i've been studying hard. This year, I've been doing more than double the required amount of work. i spend between 10-12hours a day studying so i can be ahead of the rest of the school. during this 2 years i rarely mixed with others in fear of being influenced by them and turning to my old ways, but i feel i'm totally alone, i have a few friends i do hang out with a few times a month but thats about it. It has come to the point where my academics are my only pride. I recently fell for this girl in my school, who i knew was a lesbian, She's smart, pretty, and capable, we spend quite abit of time together too. i know we probably won't work out, but this feeling is painful. the only way i seem to be able to ease the pain is keeping myself occupied by studying.
I'm exhausted! The only path that I see is graduation, and hopefully find a good job. Is this all there is to life, study and work? I fear people, because they change, but i fear to be alone even more. It feels a part of me has already died
Well here is my life story briefly:
I'm 16 this year, and 3 years back I was very rebellious, I didn't think straight, I never expected things would turn out this way. I've been through a fair bit, skipped school, got into fights, did drugs, practically anything gave me excitement. My life revolved around this group of "friends" for about a year, till I had just passed my 14 birthday . After some disagreements, i slowly lost contact with them, some decided they had other friends, others went to prison. Maybe it was for good, but I realized, i was left with nothing. Soon after, i was expelled, I decided to change for the better, I promised myself to work hard, any not build my life on friends and relationships, but something that would be of use to me.
I found a place in a private school where we can study at out own rate, been there for 2 years now, and i've been studying hard. This year, I've been doing more than double the required amount of work. i spend between 10-12hours a day studying so i can be ahead of the rest of the school. during this 2 years i rarely mixed with others in fear of being influenced by them and turning to my old ways, but i feel i'm totally alone, i have a few friends i do hang out with a few times a month but thats about it. It has come to the point where my academics are my only pride. I recently fell for this girl in my school, who i knew was a lesbian, She's smart, pretty, and capable, we spend quite abit of time together too. i know we probably won't work out, but this feeling is painful. the only way i seem to be able to ease the pain is keeping myself occupied by studying.
I'm exhausted! The only path that I see is graduation, and hopefully find a good job. Is this all there is to life, study and work? I fear people, because they change, but i fear to be alone even more. It feels a part of me has already died
By:
choices195
Age:
16-17
,
Male
