I Am Dead
I know I am dead because there are only two things that make me stay alive. There is my cat, who has lived a hard life. She is old and was unloved for many years at her house. Now she is sweet and happy with me. So I do not want to make her suffer living in a pet shelter for a week. Till she is put to sleep. Because lets face facts no one wants an old cat.
Then there is the fact that on occasion I hope that my cat will die. That something will happen and she will be gone forever. That way I can go out and buy a gun and paint a picture with my blood. I love my kitty and she brings me a sense of peace. However, more and more I want her to pass on so I can join her.
The second thing is my roommate. I say second because in a couple of weeks that will change. You see the only reason that I feel bad about dying now would be because I do not have life insurance. My company requires 30 days of employment before that can come. Well they also require it to be the start of a calendar year. Anyway, my point is that I had to name a beneficiary. So I named him. So once I have life insurance he will no longer be an issue.
I can also tell I am dead on the inside because I do not seek an afterlife. A lot of people think that dying will get them to something better. You know a new existence where they can live in bliss. Well not me, I want to die because it means I will cease to exist. Whether or not that is true is yet to be seen. However, I do not want to exist anymore. There is no greater hell than my continued existence.
So yeah I am dead and have been dead for years. The only thing that gives me any desire to life is sexual activity. Since I know that females would rather die a slow miserable death than even entertain the thought of having sex with me. I know that I will never have that again. Well unless I meet a desperate one who can fake an actual desire... but.. even Oscar worthy actresses are not that good at faking it. So now I will just wait for complications to take my kitty
Then there is the fact that on occasion I hope that my cat will die. That something will happen and she will be gone forever. That way I can go out and buy a gun and paint a picture with my blood. I love my kitty and she brings me a sense of peace. However, more and more I want her to pass on so I can join her.
The second thing is my roommate. I say second because in a couple of weeks that will change. You see the only reason that I feel bad about dying now would be because I do not have life insurance. My company requires 30 days of employment before that can come. Well they also require it to be the start of a calendar year. Anyway, my point is that I had to name a beneficiary. So I named him. So once I have life insurance he will no longer be an issue.
I can also tell I am dead on the inside because I do not seek an afterlife. A lot of people think that dying will get them to something better. You know a new existence where they can live in bliss. Well not me, I want to die because it means I will cease to exist. Whether or not that is true is yet to be seen. However, I do not want to exist anymore. There is no greater hell than my continued existence.
So yeah I am dead and have been dead for years. The only thing that gives me any desire to life is sexual activity. Since I know that females would rather die a slow miserable death than even entertain the thought of having sex with me. I know that I will never have that again. Well unless I meet a desperate one who can fake an actual desire... but.. even Oscar worthy actresses are not that good at faking it. So now I will just wait for complications to take my kitty
By:
ForgottenMale
Age:
26-30
,
Male
