Just Because I Am Deaf Doesn't Mean I Want Pity

I was born a deafie, so I have always used ASL and it has never really bothered me that much that people stare at me when I sign to my family or friends in public. It is just who I am, I can't change it. But, when some one looks at me with pity, that drives me insane. I was BORN this way, just like others are born with brown hair or ten fingers, it is who I am. I hate the way that how some people just assume that I was in some tragic accident just because I have no hearing, get to know someone before jumping to conclusions.

deafdream deafdream
18-21, F
12 Responses Nov 26, 2009

I'm Acquired Totally Deaf past 18 months, but was totally in L ear from birth then had many many operations, i.e Abscess on the brain, failed cochlear implants that were extracted,Ive had every operation you can name as regards ears Ive had them, Averaged 2 operations a year since birth, etc etc the list is way to long to explain..But Tinnitus since age 5 and in both ears and still there. Balance is poor.

I'm now in different world and don't like it and cant accept it...I'm finding going hard indeed.

Hearing people just don't understand...

I love this answer! You're so right. My deaf friends have taught me so much about their coulture. I really appreciate the education. Hearing culture can be so closed minded sometimes. People feel like they need to pity someone because they're different. NOT TRUE! They are no different! Just can't hear. Need to communicate differently.

I totally understand! Even though I am only Unilateraly Deaf, people give me pity all the time. I use sign language because its easier for me, and people stare at me like I'm insane or offer to help me in the really loud and really slow voice, I can carry my own groceries I'm just Unilateraly Deaf. I hate pity Idon't need I function fine, I don't understand the way people think!

I am born deaf. I have same your feeling.

I just start to learn ASL recently, am hard of hearing. I can sign some simple words now. I joined a great deaf daing site, --- www.kissdeaf.com ---, and met some good deaf/HOH friends over there. They help me to learn ASL.

i dont mind if people stare its when they eavesdrop that i get annoyed

i'm a new deafie i don't want pity , just understanding that iam adjusting right now. iam learning signing right now, but i lip read too

Hey!<br />
I am hearing, but i've spet so much time with deaf people, i have many friends there. I'm studying slovene sign language so i can easier communicate with people. I really admire all deaf people, because here it's quite hard for them. Not rights that they should have, and people often don't want to talk when they find out that the person is deaf. So...they are very surprised that some of us want to know sign language evendo we have no deaf person in our family. + my idol is deaf so that's what showed me this wonderful world of silence. And one story quickly. I once saw deaf boy on bus and i started to sign with him. People were watching like we're from Mars, but i felt really good. <br />
You shouldn't care if people stare at you (i gotta admit, i'm doing same thing. because i enjoy watch people sign and also try to understand something. but if i'm near them, i tell them why i'm looking).<br />
I really like your story :)

oh, yeah i've had the same experience, deafdream. sometimes hearing people who are my friends come up to me, saying i don't know how i could live without music cos you can't hear.<br />
But really, I can hear music with my cochlear implant.<br />
At other time, my sub was really cool and let us listen to ipod, use cell phones in classes, and so on. She told me to try to listen to the words and tell her what the singer was saying. I said that I couldn't. She said c'mon, just really try hard. I said ya, i am but i can't understand people singing that well. It almost was like she was trying to make me "better". To be hearing like all of them.<br />
I got too frustrated with that and decided to go to deaf institude school.

Weneed accept different learn godmade all should respect each other. God want that

Absolutely, I know that the first stare is normal after people realize that I am deaf. But don't keep watching me the entire time! I went to a store with my sister the other day and this middle aged woman watched us sign the entire time...

Total agree,we who we r, am happy sign God gave way talk am dont ppl get close stare ask u know sign throughmy friend

Ive always wanted to learn how to sign. I have a few books on it but to me its like any other foreign language. Its extremely hard for me to learn! lol But I agree with you both. I hate it when people pity others. Like my girlfriend/future wife (YAY!), she is in a wheelchair cause of a terrible ordeal but she feels the same way about those who pity her. She doesnt see it as a terrible disadvantage or anything. She can do anything that anyone else can do, she just does it her way. I dont pity her at all... Its just how things came to be and you must live with it and move forward.

Thanks for your comment! I totally agree with you, people should save their pity and give it to someone who deserves it!