Trying To Stay Positive

So after another bad doctor's appointment yesterday, I am taking a mental health day and having a small pity-party.  It is hard to smile at work everyday and be my usual happy self when EVERYBODY around me is pregnant. or newly-mothered.
I can not go on facebook anymore because everyone is pregnant, their spouse is pregnant, they have tons of pics of their babies....
Most of the people in my neighborhood are pushing strollers around or waddling around the block, waving at us and saying when r u and - gonna have one.
I went on a business trip last week and guess who sat next to me?  Ms. Prego whose baby decided to kick for the first time during take-off and she sqealed each time it happened and even let me feel the baby kick yayyyyyy
And 2 of my staff have newborns at work. They come in and say to me, enjoy your free time. I am so tired. You are so lucky you had your weekend to yourself. I have to leave this meeting and go pump. You are so lucky to not have to deal with this.  I wanna scream at them "I am not that lucky you evil *******. I am infertile" But of course I don't. I smile and say yes how wonderful my life is....

I know we will adopt. I have always known I would adopt but it is still hard to know you can not have your own.

My husband is the most wonderful husband in the world but not very helpful in this situation. He tried a joke last night to cheer me up. "I hope you do not steal a baby and pretend like its yours, like those ladies in the news" ha-ha :(

I can not discuss this with any of my friends. They immediately think I resent them for having their own child.

I am educated, financially secure, resonably sane, usually happy and kind. My husband is even more educated, sane, happy and kind. We look good on paper and are better in person. Why does the Baby God not see this?

Enough venting, I am off to get a mani/pedi and indulge in some retail therapy. If a prego sits next to me at the nail salon, I will calmly leave and then go for a liquid lunch, something she can't do :) I am soooooooooooooooo lucky I can still drink.
jazzybelle53 jazzybelle53
36-40, F
1 Response Jul 28, 2010

Your humor will help get you through this! My friend has an amazing agency in Toronto for adopting from Russia if you're interested.