I Feel Lost!!

I feel so lost since I have been told that i will never have children... thats all i have ever wanted to be a mother and now everyone i know is having children and its killing me slowly .... they want me to be a god mother ...but to tell you the truth even that hurts like hell i put on a happy face for them but my heart is ripping to pieces every time i see them... everyone says pray and it will happen well hate to tell you but i have been praying for ten years now ... i have done the treatments too so dont even go there with me either nothing has worked nothing will ever work and as my life goes on I wonder why i am even here.... I hate to say it but i am starting to hate seeing people with babies and hearing about teenagers having babies i starting to hate everything and please dont go there about adopting because i would love to but i am not able to right at this moment... i guess i am coming across as a ***** but it hurts so much and i cant talk to anyone about it
whoooty whoooty
31-35, F
4 Responses Jan 15, 2013

same as you.. life sucks.. only thing that keeps me going is this internet search for success stories... and the fact that my husbands aunt conceived two children back to back after 18 years of marriage without treatment. so theres hope.

I totally understand how you feel, I am in the same situation and people will never understand how it feels unless they are in that situation for themselves. sometimes it just takes a minute to yourself to realize that one day you will be a mother and you will be so prepared for your child that you will have nothing to worry about. As cliché as it sounds try and find the good in not having children right now. hopefully it gets better I know that its a long and hard road to have to go down but its going to get better!

My Heart goes out to you and those feelings. I'm afraid wont go away but you will hopefully learn to deal with it. I understand why you dont want to talk to anyone about it as i too dont want to be suffocated by other people's sympathy when they simply cannot understand the pain. I recently have just had to make a decision that will change my life forever. Deep down i feel like i'm being punished and wonder what my purpose is if not to have the gift to give life, but like you i smile to hide the pain. I'm not here to tell you it will get better or easier to deal with but to let you know you are not the only one who's facing this at such a young age.

First of all, when ***** gets into our bodies antigens destroy them. persons who dont get pregnant often times never gets the flue. Seldom do they get sick, because their bodies are strong to virus and germs. If you still have your womb and ovaries, there is still a chance. My friend tried for ten years to have a baby, I told her to try one time when she has the flue and drink a little alcohol with i. hat way her immune is not very alert to destroy all the sperms. She tried it. Because of her infertile condition she never took a pregnancy test when she became ill two months later. Then a nurse took it and Bam.... it was there. a baby....