I Love My Wife, But I Think Our Marriage Is Over

She has gone back to school and is now all about her new "friends". She doesn't spen anytime with the kids and I anymore and has started talking like a twenty two year old instead of a 34 year old mother of three.  I know she needs her own friends and space, which I have not stopped her from pursuing, but she excludes me from that part of her life at all costs.  It has gotten so bad that she cussed me out the other day and said I will never get to f*ing know her friends and if I don't like it too bad.  She is nice to me when she needs things ( I take care of the kids, I work full-time, I clean house, do laundry, go to kids events,  I proofread all her papers, and in my "spare" time, I sleep about 4 hours a night.), but as soon as I ask why does she have to spend so much time with these people she goes ballistic and cusses me out and says that I will never control her.

This is all new, it really only started about 6 months ago, but now that she is graduating in May with her Masters she has changed.  I honestly don't think there is another guy, but her actions are so out of the oridnary that doubts are creeping in.  She spent over $3000 dollars in less than 2 months...money that we were saving to by a large screen tv and pay off bills with.  When I confronted her she said she was so sorry, but she was just under so much stress that shopping was the only thing she could do to relieve herself.  I called BS and that led to a huge fight and she threated to leave me and take the kids...I insisted that she stay at home and I would move out at least until June.  In that way, the kids would not have to be disrupted with their school routine.  She insisted that I don't come around anymore and that I leave her alone.  I have, but as soon as she realized I was not joking she started calling me and texting me to talk about things other than the kids.  I told her until she was ready to work on our marriage and to give up her selfish ways I was done.  Her angry response was to go F myself and that she was going to Vegas in June for a bacholorette party.  I have been trying to get her to go to Vegas for years.  We have been married for 14 years and she has never been insterested in Vegas.  Now she is going.  I am at a loss.

I have been seeing a counselor becuase I just don't know what to do.  I want me marriage to be saved, but am I wasting my time?  She said she would be willing to work on the issues in June once she was done with school, but in the meantime she wanted nothing more to do with me.  Two days later she calls me to the house to watch the kids while she went to the library and when she got back it was very late....she told me to sleep on the couch if I wanted.  I did and about 3 in the morning she comes down dressed in her b-day suit and we made love.  I just don't get it....am I being played?  Is she really interested in saving this marriage or is she just using me to finish school and then plans to dump my sorry butt for a better younger model?  There is so much more to say, but I wil leave it at that for now.  Thank you!
deleted deleted
3 Responses May 10, 2011

I think she loves you, but wants to experience outside your relationship. No much you can do. You need to decide what is best for you now. The kids will adjust to any change. Being angry at each other is worst for them. If you are OK with her having experiences outside your marriage, then discuss it and set the rules. If not, you may want to take time apart so you can also sort out your feelings.

People change,sorry and best wishes

Go to the nami.org website and do a search for Bipolar Disorder. Your wife sounds sick and needs help.