My Big Brother

I don't know how to deal with my brothers death especially Thur these holidays. He was only 30 he died on nov 1st 2012 he was a heavy heavy drinker and his liver was completely shot. People may think will he's stupid why would he drink so much but he was good in the head. He lived in his head and couldn't think through his person pain and problems he was having. I miss him so much it hurts. I feel fine some days and then I start thinking about it and realizing he isn't here and it hurts all over again. I feel like I have this great big whole in my heart I feel empty and I start getting panic attacks like I need to get out. I feel like I'm stuck in this cycle I feel sad one min or mad the next or sad again and it just doesn't stop. He was the one I went to when I was dealing with something and now I can't. I miss him terribly and talking to my friends doesn't help I just keep repeating my self over and over... They don't get it or they just say the wrong things which isn't their fault I just need to talk to someone but I don't know how or where to start.
Ms892 Ms892
22-25
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

Hi I know exactly how you feeling also lost my sweet baby brother