In Love With a Seminarian...

Wow i am so encouraged to see that this has happened to other women. 2 months ago my ex boyfriend told me that he might be called to the priesthood and is going to discern. We both were heart broken...and although i appreciate his honesty and i want to give him his space to discern...i can't help but feel abandoned sometimes...especially since we seriously talked about marriage.
What is amazing though is that in these past 2 months I have gotten to know of God's love so much more than I have ever had in my entire life. Its hard because at first I was so immature and thought...God why are you doing this to me?? But as each day goes by - through prayer and perseverance I am seeing a bigger picture....but still I have my severe highs and lows. Just because I'm trying to let him go doesn't mean I want to...i still hold onto the hope that one day he'll come back....but i know that by putting my trust in him I'm not putting my trust in God. I always feel like I'm battling every single day. I think the hardest part is we are dealing with both a breakup and a test of faith. I know what i need to do which is to surrender this to God completely...but I feel so overwhelmed by this intense pain in my chest.
I read on another blog (yes I've been doing my research lol) that this time is my discernment too...and just as he needs to figure out how he should serve God so do I.

Ganda,
I have been in this similar situation for the past 2 years. I'll spell out my personal situation and then give you my advice. I meet my love in Highschool, we were friends during that time, four years after highschool ended we reconnected at a b-day party and had a romantic and intimate relationship for almost 2 years. We had spoken intentions to marry one another. One day he says to me he feels called to the (Catholic) priesthood. Both of us were heartbroken. I ended the relationship on the spot so he could discern properly. He has discerned for over 2 years now. Over those two years we tried to be friends, we tried to ignore each other, we tried to act as acquaintances, everything would be good for a short while and then turn into a disaster. Only when we *both* made a commitment to God to be pure and view each other in sisterly/brotherly love did we click again. He'll be entering seminary this coming Fall (2013).

Darling, I know it is very very difficult to be in this position, but if you truly love him and God you will pray for grace and peace to come upon both of you and then let go. You will never stop loving him, but you must mold your love into a pure, holy, and *detached* love. My ex and I are just now starting to share ourselves (emotionally, and spiritually - with the occasional hug thrown it!) Our friendship is better now than it has ever been before. He is dead set on being a priest. God has written it on his heart. But both he and I are also very much in love. A catholic priest cannot marry, but he can have a special bond with another person.

Work on purifying your heart, mind and intentions. The holier and closer you are to God the closer you will be to this man you love (regardless of whether he goes on to be a priest or your spouse). Fight temptation with prayer, and offer up your pain to Jesus. God is good, ALL the time. Trust in Him.

Hello, I was searching for books about being-in-love-with-seminarian, then I've got into this. I didn't know that many were in the same boat as I am. I am with a seminarian, we are going 3 yrs this april.

I would just like to say, that if you two have the same feelings with each other, and you are willing to wait without having your high expectations on happy endings, then might as well follow your heart. Being in love is for all people, no exemptions. Just because he is a seminarian does not mean he should not love, or receive love. Being a seminarian does not mean he'll be a priest for sure. It is a long process. As what my seminarian boyfriend always reminds me, whenever I am in guilt feelings, "We are just seminarians, we are in discernment process..."

I know how it feels to be judged by many people for having a relationship with someone who is in the seminary. But, I know in myself that I should not let those words affect me. I also did promise to God that if ever time will come that He needs my seminarian boyfriend to serve him, I will not hinder that call. Though It will hurts a lot, I will let him go.

I am experiencing such thing too. But we don't have to do anything.
We just let ourselves love them in a way that we will not expect something in return because they are made for God and not for us.
I know that it is the hardest thing to accept, okay. the feeling is mutual but we should understand that they love God more than us.

GANDA...

I think we dont have to do anything.
We can't hold people, we can't control events.
What we can do is to focus on OUR OWN self.

Let go, Let God.

"Do the little thing you can, and He will do the rest."

As for me, i want to ask for your prayers that I may be able to use this feeling of "love" for the good of both of us, and the people around us.It is not our fault we feel this way, we are just human. But he is in a process, still discerning for his vocation. And I cannot just ****** him from that for the sake of my poor feelings, it is nothing compared to God.I want to be an instrument that God can use to test and purify his intentions, not to be a distraction. I sing for the mass and he plays the song. I don't want to focus on us alone, but in every note he play, in every song I sing.. God is there, ears wide open. Ofcourse He can hear us, He can hear our heartbeats. He can see the glimpses we throw each other. God is there.But sin involves free will!it's not a sin to be in love, because we can't choose how to feel for somebody, it is a grace from God.But the moment we choose to do things which are offensive to God, that is where the evil comes in.So, I just cherish the moment I get to be with him during choir practices.5 Sundays left, before his First Profession of Religious Vows :)And we will be singing for God on that day :)

hi girl... we are in the same boat ... or should i say in the same situation....and i guess to stay in a situation where we are right now would be the best thing to do ...
i would not say you'd let him go because he is still in a discernment stage and better wait for the time where he could realize that the vocation he had right now is really meant for him ....
-let's just wait for their decision, i guess so-
and if time would come that they will let go of us then we'll let them go too ...

Let him go girl

Dear one, do not be d cause of another man's downfall and if a man refuses to answer his vocational call let d reason be best known to him. If truly is to represent Christ before the synagogue, God will definitely arrest his spirit for His service. And God will grant u your fit. May the spirit of God be with us all. Amen

hi brothers and sisters! It's my opportunity to read all your thoughts. I don't even know that there are lots of people experiencing that kind of situation the way i am right now. And yes! I am 16 and fully-in-love with a 20-year-old seminarian. We've met each other past 6 mos. I am deeply in love with him, and it came to the time that, everything he gave me, a chocolate,food,remembrance, or even a simple stuff, i am supposed to keep them. Frankly speaking, i never felt this thing before 'cos i know that, i am too young to build a relationship. I am a choir member, I serve God for almost the entire of my life. I know the feeling of being in love with someone you're not receiving a replacement from them. For me, this is one of the hardest/crucial decision i am going to made. Still, at this moment of time, i am asking Him for a sign. Because I know that God will provide what I really deserve. For me, the best thing to do is to: trust God.. full-of-heartaches but, that's life!
GOD BLESS EVERYONE! <3

Get out of it now or you will be heartbroken the rest of your life. I know from experience. You will never give your heart completely to anyone else if you continue to fall into the deepest love possible with this guy. He is only confused snd using you and he doesn't know it yet or he makes excuses to justify messing with your life. I am dead serious about this and wouldn't wish this pain I have experienced on any one!!! I will be praying for you.

i am also inlove with a seminarian...
i fight for him..but then,he really thinks that its god's call for him..so i set him free.and because i love him.

i'am also a seminarian and i love to be with my girl and boy friends!! thats it just make him as your inspiration...

I have a CRUSH on seminarian and it's driving me crazy. He just had a vacation here in the Philippines but his seminary is in the States. It was only by chance that we met last May when I attended mass in the parish where he was staying. Well he doesn't know me, he was just introduced by the parish priest. He is very attractive and nice. I thought this 'feeling' won't last and I kept on shrugging the idea. But a week ago, I saw him again and my feelings just intensified and now I'm starting to think that this is some kind of a destiny. Goodness, I dunno. :|

First, you must detach yourself and feelings from this person to discern gods will for the both of you. True discernment comes from being detached and building a daily prayerful life a relationship with God. God speaks he wants to tell you his will you are his child and his will is best for your path. He will not keep his will from you in a relationship with someone it is a two-way communication where two people are speaking, you and god. He speaks in a small still voice after many hours of silent listening in front of the blessed sacrament,he is truly sitting there body, blood, soul and divinity waiting for you to ask him tell him your desires. Wait upon the lord, "be still and know he is god" working. It may take some time 3-5 years of building that trust and movement of your heart but you will know over time. If it is from God no-one can stop it, it will grow and and continue. If it is not from God you will know and at some point not feel for that desire. Dont rush god is after your salvation not the now time meanwhile, build on being the right person for god so that god can make the prepare the right person for you. Discern and find a spiritual director they can help your emotions and desires. God speaks through dreams,images, still voice, and a call into silence in the blessed sacrament, daily mass. This is gods holys yesterday, today, and forever God doesnt change his beings!!!! Peace and love of Christ with Mary

I believe, seminarians who are in their philosophical studies (college degree) are allowed to have girlfriends. but if they're already on their theological studies, that, iam not sure of. My bf is a novice in one of the religious orders. when the coming school year opens, he'll start his theology. the last time he texted me, i felt that he's a bit confused, he told me that there are serious things his rectors instructed him to do. And that sounds a bit scary to me. could it be the dreaded separation? i asked about what is it, but he wont talk. ARE SEMINARIANS IN THEOLOGICAL STUDIES ALLOWED TO HAVE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE? IS THIS THING THAT WE HAVE ILLEGAL IN CHURCH'S EYES?



thanks in advance!

We have the same experience, too. My boyfriend is a seminarian. I am 17, and he is 22. yes, we have 5 years age gap. I respect him. I love him. When we were just friends, I asked him if he continue his vocation and become a priest, he answered, he don't know yet. We are happy now. Mag 1-1 yeaar na kami this coming June 2. We met i a convent 4 years ago and became friends. My mother knew about our relationship. She was the first person knew aside from the both of us. She like him as my boyfriend. And I'm happy about that. When she see him in the church, she'll say- "oh si R***" tas magngingitian kami ni mama. Pag wala din siya, tinatanong kung san siya pumunta. Open ako kay mama. Pag nasa simbahan kami, we just look to each other and smile. Siguro yung iba, hindi nila alam na we are in a relationship. Nang nalaman ni papa na seminarian yung boyfriend ko, sinabi niya sa akin na baka ako daw magiging rason kung mag-s-stop siya bilang seminarian. Medyo naguluhan ako nun. Parang I felt na nagkakasala ako kay God kasi parang nakikikompitensiya ako sa kanya.

I'm ready na kung ano man yung magiging decision niya. Kung pipiliin niya mang magpatuloy, kahit mahirap, just let him go. But if he choose you, then you are lucky-- we are lucky. :)

I'm also Kurtloveallistare :D

I'am a seminarian and I have a lot of friends ,girlsand boys. I treat all my girl friends as a normal people outside...... in fact they become my inspiration to push thru my studies and aspires me to become more good person so they were not devils instead angels from above :D

It's not wrong to love a seminarian or who is on his way on becoming a priest. God gives them choices, and i think the reason why there are girls out there who fall in love with them and those seminarians who fall in love,too, are God's test. He wants us to be happy and to find our own path. That path is upon the choices we make.



So, no matter what happens, whether they move out or stay in the seminary or their "formation", Nothing changes . God still loves them. Remember, there are other ways we can serve God.



I hope this helps. You can read Paulo Coelho's book. By the River Piedra, it's all about this. :)



-R.

like you guys,I'm also in a relationship with a seminarian, he is 6 years older than i.. we are just in our 2 month and 2 weeks of relationship.. His brothers seminarians knows about us.. they we're also happy for us.. he was courting me since 1st year college and now we are in 2nd year,, we have no any problems, we see each other at school.. but we cannot be together.. we have time to be with each other every friday afternoon from 2:30-4:00 with a friend of mine to pretend that we are just friends. . it's very difficult for us but we are trying to understand and consider the relationship we have. just last march 09, 2012 in the afternoon friday,, we met each other in front of the cathedral,, i thought we will not see each other because i was absent. he called me we talk very little, he got my phone, there he said that their rectors know about the relationship he has. he was asked to choose between vocation or relation.. of course hearing such ,i felt I'm carrying the whole world,.. i paused for a moment and told him to pray and decide what will be his decision. on that they they will have their retreat. i am hoping that he will have his decision properly,, whatever it may be,, i will accept and respect him.. coz i LOVE him so much :)

ako in love sa seminarista.. pero ang weird nya, ang hirap talaga.. minsan pinapakitaan nya ako ng pag interest o na gusto nya rin ako pero may time naman na bigla nalang di mamamansin.. Promise ng promise na pupunta sa bahay pero di naman dumadating.. Magdedate kami tapos biglang ilang Linggo di nanaman sisipot.. ang sakit sakit na.... Tanggap ko naman na magopapari sya di ko naman sya pipigilan, gusto ko lang mahalin sya at maging part ng life nya...

This is another reason Catholicism doesn't make sense to me. God said "be fruitful and multiply" or as the Catholics see it "be fruitful and multiply.........that is unless you are a teacher of my word because in that case you should never experience the miracle of making a life or the miracle of experiencing the gift I have given you called love. And hey, forget the fact that people will be coming to you asking for advice on matters such as children or love and you will have no real experience to help them" I'm just saying............

This is another reason Catholicism doesn't make sense to me. God said "be fruitful and multiply" or as the Catholics see it "be fruitful and multiply.........that is unless you are a teacher of my word because in that case you should never experience the miracle of making a life or the miracle of experiencing the gift I have given you called love. And hey, forget the fact that people will be coming to you asking for advice on matters such as children or love and you will have no real experience to help them" I'm just saying............

in short its really hard being in this situation what is the best way to do why they allow us to fall?

...Why cant it be the two if Us? did i came at the wrong time and place??

my boyfriend is a seminarian.. Sometimes he exist.. sometimes he doesn't.. But in his absence i still love him, more and more.... i don't want to expect something on him, coz it really hurts.. and there is no assurance of loving me back. but Im glad it grew into ME..



I Miss YOu..

hey there,,,im in the same situation..im inlove with a seminarian too. we've known each other for almost 2 years and we study in the same university. i knew him when we became classmates in one of my minor subjects. and the first tym that i saw him, i already had a crush on him. we became close because of exchanging text messages. then after that, we exchange gifts, we talk in school during our free time and eventually he asked me out several times...and because of that,,my simple crush turns into love.. and as the time goes by,, i knew that he feels the same way...he always makes "PARAMDAM" to me and he is so sweet and caring to me....but then. im afraid that our friendship will turn into love because i dont want to get hurt at the end....and also my friends adviced me that if he will court me, i should not say yes to him so that i wont regret and get heart broken... but what can i do?? im so inlove with him! he is always on my mind!...and he told me that he doesn't have any plans of pursuing his vocation because he wants to get married and have his own family!... im so confused! should i follow my friends or what my heart is saying?..

we are a seminarians thats why we understand the feelings that you feel right now. if you want any advice just contact this number and we can assure you we can find solutions on your questions.



contact no: 09168334278 or 09358165019

you should accept the fact that he cannot be yours,try to move on and maybe you can fine someone who is worthy for your love. the best thing to do now you offer a mass intention for the conversions of feeling of yours and your boyfriend seminarian. to tell you frankly you would be very selfish if you will still holds the heart of your boyfriend. let him still and should be glad on his vocation...



by:Brother Nyor and Brother totzz....09358165019

you should accept the fact that he cannot be yours,try to move on and maybe you can fine someone who is worthy for your love. the best thing to do now you offer a mass intention for the conversions of feeling of yours and your boyfriend seminarian. to tell you frankly you would be very selfish if you will still holds the heart of your boyfriend. let him still and should be glad on his vocation...



by:Brother Nyor and Brother totzz....09358165019