My Matemy mate is my mr. right....i didnt picture id ever love again not to mention love this deeply...i mess up, usualy im the trustworthy partner in the couple. but this time i messed up big time and thank god he took me back.
befor i messed things up i saw a life with him. we shared a vision of what our lives would be like....
but now, all i see is the pain i caused him and all that goes through my head is that he might leave me at anytime. it scares me to death. looseing him forever truly scares and shakes me to my soul.
i have loved others,but not like this. He loves me too.
the last time we talked he told me he's not telling anyone that we are back together yet.
because he wants an easy way out of this in case something happens...he told me we need to build trust, things feel awkward right now but he wants to work on it. my relationships have always been complicated and in all of them iv been the one to get hurt, hurting someone is something new. i dont know what to do. i dont know how to do it....make this work, build trust...idk everything.
he is the love of my life and it kills me to know he doesnt trust me...it kills me that he got hurt in the first place, that he considers things awkward between us...it just kills me to know i am capable of hurting him and i feel helpless to the fact that i cant fix it right now!
shadowhuntersoforegon 22-25, F 0 May 23, 2012