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Today I Change

Ive always been rather sarcastic, at a constant level.
I have always been blunt and strait to the point, and staying with my character, I stay lively and funny, but get serious as required.
I am in psychology 101 in college, and while the things I learned there I have learned before so far, (took psychology in high school too) I got to thinking...
The APA writing handbook had a thing on writing bias, once again stuff I already knew beforehand...but never acted on or thought about.
all people are biased, not everyone intentionally shows their bias, and sometimes shown bias isnt the writer being biased, but the reader seeing words that they believe are biased oppinions of the writer, this second thing happens to me often, I type something out, and other people take it the wrong way. If you read one of my last comments on someone posting about suicide (A VERY touchy subject, as I am sure everyone here is aware of), I do not believe I came off as I intended, and obviously a few people jumped on me telling me I was evil hateful (and one person said something about me being the kind of person to "blame obese people for all the problems" in his exact words, even though I said nothing about obese people, in fact my last girlfriend was obese, and my best friend is obese...so I have no problem with obese people whatsoever... but here is the post if you wish to see EP Link )

So for the rest of this week and next I am going to try to talk and type differently, see if it affects my personality, I expect that after only a week and a half that very little will come of it, however after a long term usage it should cause me to naturally change into a less bias sounding person. I will first examine the week and a half and judge my next action from there. If I succesfuly sound unbiased, than I may attempt prolonged usage of this idea, unless the unbiased actions have no effect on others, and I still find people hate me for speaking reality's tongue. If anybody would like to stalk my postings and possibly help correct any of my future biased words (not biased opinions, my opinions wont be changed just how I portray my wordings.(well I should say my opinions wont be changed without good cause and reason)) I would be eternally greatful.

Thank you for reading this.
mindwarper11 mindwarper11 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 20, 2012

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I find communication so interesting. One thing I realized is that every word has a common system of emotions connected to it (it depends on culture and personal experiences mostly), so we must be very careful not to care so much about concepts but about feelings. When we please our readers and make them feel at ease, they will agree with us, no matter what is the idea we believe in.

well I rather failed my first days attempt, If I rated myself it would be a 50%, but I will continue to try until either I succeed or determine success impossible...which I doubt will happen.
I am good at taking a neutral point in a debate, even taking up the debate in favor of something I am against, but I am not so good at using neutral words. That seems to be where I make my mistakes is in how I present each word, not just the topic at hand.

It's really hard to change a communication style. We need to feel "good" when we talk; we need to have the feeling that there's a coherence- I'd say almost an "armony"- between what we say and what we think: this armony creates a certain pleasure: going against it it's unnatural. You have to move your focus from yourself to your interlocutor, but this means that you should know a bit the person you're talking to, in order to understand which "tones" you must avoid (in any speech, we instantly avoid words that in our mind have a negative connotation). Ok I'm saying all this because I kind of make the same mistake myself and I'm so tired of being criticized with no reason. I think this happens to very self-centred people who havent' been so much influenced by the world style and have developed their own language.

hmm, well I don't know about self-centered, as I've never met anyone in real life that has considered me self-centered (It is my personal belief that I am on this planet for the help of others, even if helping is a detriment to my own well being), however I understand the wish to not be criticized for no reason. What I find funny is, when I ask to be criticized, it seems nobody will, but when it becomes unnecessary to criticize me, that is when I am most criticized, and its not that I am doing something bad, good, or even dumb, but somebody, even if it makes no sense, has to criticize at the oddest of times. An example would be recently I asked a question on here, asking people to imagine their own religion and what it would be like if they made one up. Somebody posted something tottally different, and I asked him if he read the question, he then acted like I hated him and his comments, I had told him I enjoyed his words and story, but that it was off topic, him and one other person procceeded to act like I was evil and angry...it confused me, and one other at least, as to what they were talking about, especially when they said I made "rude" comments, which I never did.

I believe I did a bit better yesterday, especially after talking to my psychology teacher, a very interesting fellow I might add, one of those rare people that can input their bias and talk neutral about a subject at the same time.

Ahah yeah, the "critic at the oddest of times" happens to me too. I blame myself for that, since living with my contorted personality should have taught me to be always ready for critics.
Anyway, at least in this context, we must remember that written communication is different and most easly misunderstood, since we give our own "touch" to what we read. I haven't seen the comment you made, but I can guess that it was interpreted like "are you stupid? Can't you read my question?". All the reactions would make sense.
But it's normal, if you think that when we read a novel we use our immagination to translate words in reality and this means that each word and each expression has its own "image" in our mind, no matter what the real meaning is. It's more the way we are used to seeing the word, the "role" of it for us and for the society, I could say even the "stereotype" (but, as you see, "role" as a neutral-positive tone, "stereotype" instead is mostly negative, even if I consider "stereotype" more precise and I'd be more likely to use it. But using it means stimulating a part of my interlocutor mind which links that word with a feeling of rejection, and he/she would probably find a reason to criticize me, even if we agree).
I don't know if I manage to explain myself (English isn't my language). And I probably should start studying this stuff, rather than keep on guessing :D

Wow, I never would have guessed English is not your language! You type it elegantly enough! I believe I understand what you are saying, it all makes sense to me anyways. I should probably blame myself for the same, since I know all to well my own personality. Another part ofwhat makes it my fault is I like to talk on "touchy" subjects, like if raising a child with spankings is good or bad, or religion (personal favorite topic, I love studying people, and love their religion even more, and admittedly I get a little hot under the collar when someone bashes another persons religion with false facts, or confuses two or more religions for eachother...) or politics (another personal favorite, but unlike religion I have not studied politics since I was a child...) and the likes. I try and keep it civil, and keep in neutral ( I never wish to look down on someone for believing differently, in fact I do my best to help people understand their own faith more, and get a stronger grasp on their own beliefs...but I hate (bad word I know, but its the most truthful way to put it) Scientologist and Jehova's Witnesses...)
I garuntee it does not take a rocket scientist to see all my mistakes in this one post alone. You take a much better aproach, definantly more neutral.
Also I never thought of the word sterotype itself as a negative word...definantly a new perspective for me.

Oh, touchy subjects are the best :D Everything is involved: culture, law, economy, human nature... They’re worth the risk of being criticized!

Religion? Let's see…If you excuse me, I'm going to give you two different answers with two different communication styles. I’ll try to say more or less the same thing (I ensure you that both represent my personal opinion):
1) I think religions are very much a waste of time. Better: of human intelligence. Every kind of faith that obliges people to stop questioning a part of their behaviour it's not just dangerous, but makes as similar to animals. I don’t get it: weren’t we created with rationality? How can rationality accept to stop thinking? Moreover, I find it so easy to codify the reason why people need gods that now the all thing just makes me smile. Personally, I don’t feel necessary to label myself as an atheist or whatever: I pray God when I need to, but I’m not and don’t want to feel any bound whatsoever.
2) My relationship with religions is not the best. I’ve always felt strange, like there was something not at the right place or missing when I went into a church (my family is catholic). I felt worried, and I don’t even know why. Well, the fact is that I don't like faith in general, probably because I've been told many times to stop thinking, and I desperately tried to, really, but than I realized that thinking is just part of who I am (at least I hope so). At the end the all thing caused me a lot of self-hatred. So know I prefer not to label myself, but I don’t see the reason to be against who does. God it’s a very natural human need: I myself find it in music. It’s not so different after all, is it?
Well this was pretty easy, sorry ;)

For the record, people don't want neutrality: they want to feel good. This is something I have a hard time accepting. If you use a smooth, easy, slow communication style you will be "understood" (I doubt we really understand each other). I'm working on a novel: my writing must be intense, direct and full of emotions. I want to impress, not to please!
(I take the comment on my English as your daily practice on positive communication :D Good job)

(oh my goodness...I had this whole thing all typed out...and my internet died...and my post never got posted...sigh I guess I will try again...)
Both 1 and to can be responded to with the following:
I have never found a reason to believe it a waste, thus my constant desire to study and talk of it.I have yet to find a fiath that requires us to stop thinking, on the contrary every faith preaches the ability to think on our own. In Christianity God gave us free will so that we may act and make our own decisions. In Buddhism, Buddha believes it is our lifestyle, not our deity that is to be focused on, hence Buddhist believing in a variety of Deities (be it Brahman, God, or not deity at all, hence Atheistic Buddhism, perhaps a more common Buddhism). In Hinduism Brahman has many aspects/devas and people choose to follow these as they wish, be they part of Brahman, or their own set of Deities, and like Buddhism free will and lifestyles play a large role in the religion. Satanist demand free will, and respect to Satan. If a person tells you to stop thinking, they are blaspheming their own religion (you will have to read the Bible, but it is in there, not to stop thinking, but to choose beliefs freely.) religion is about belief, free will, lifestyles, and all that is good, not all that is bad and usually attributed to religion.
I have never had a problem with religion, just the people in the religions. It is the people, not the religions that cause the problems. I label myself Atheist as I do not believe in a God, or a Buddha, or gods, or goddesses. That is my belief choice, however well crap I can't remember all that I had...It was so much better worded when I originally posted it...so sad...
anyways.
What kind of novel are you writing? I myself am working on a fantasy story, wont give away any information (but trust me when I say it is like nothing you have ever read before!) I intend for it to be a 3 book series, as I don't believe everything in my mind can be put into a single book...its very indepth...and I already have some ideas for some offshoot books (for example one character in the story is an old man, an ex-adventurer and pirate, however he tries to hide his piraty past...I intend to write his days and adventures, especially since in the main story they run into some of his old pals (one of them is even trying to destroy the world...funny how heroes change with old age right?) on the side, not sure if youve ever played anything similiar to, but I am developing agame akin to dungeons and dragons set in this world(I originally started this because I was trying to make my characters as they would be in dungeons and dragons, when that didn't fit right I tried other games...but in the end I found nothing that really fit my own world.) Im on chapter ten so far...not nearly as far along by then as I thought i'd be either...which is part of why I assume it is going to be 3 books.
(thank you, however I was being truely sincere on my comment, as to me you sound well educated and naturally English)

We should probably be more precise about what we mean by "thinking". If we both agree that can be summed up as "questioning and analysing the several aspects of a concept to come to a concluding consideration on it", we are more likely to agree that every possible kind of "faith" or "belief" usually let us do this process only on small parts of the concept, making some parts untouchable. For me this is no more real thinking. This is wasting words and time on "how does God look like?" when the point is still "does God exist?". The religion system of considerations- based on a first one that requires faith since it can't be verified by our eyes- ties you to an unmovable idea. But it's not just religion: unfortunately, Faith is needed by living (I'm taking the word "faith" in the largest meaning, with no cultural references). Doubts = no action = death. That's why humans naturally desire beliefs. I'm not saying my opinion right now: I'm telling facts (see? that's not a good thing to write :D). Apart from this…Three books? You sure? :) Are you a very fast writer? Is it your first book? How long have you been writing? What is your modus operandi?... I like fantasy books (at least when they don’t have tons of names and don’t spend 100 pages describing improbable monsters), but I got rid of fantastic elements from mine because of linearity and space. Unlike you, I’m going to do my best to squeeze my story in just one volume. For my third script, I came up with this idea to write just dialogs first and, as it’s a circular plot, I’m currently working on the last section. But yes, I’d say I’m far from the end too! :D

I disagree on small parts to be considered especially if you include the fact that there are a great many various forms of each religion, but nonetheless there are untouchable parts, but those parts, such as in Christian belief in God, the only true nonedebatable belief within that religion, are what make up the religion.
Well I have a layout of what is going to be in the books, from the religions(Pantheons, deities and the likes), the characters, and exactly how the world works, which in a sense is my game I am working on, heck I even have a hand drawn map. My story has no possible way of being in a single title, for the most part because of what the story is about, after all I am not using the cliche evil overlord taking over the world stuff, but if I told you what it is about id give away the main part of the story!
I am a very fast writer, though right now I am finding it hard to get working on the book...and I am at a more interesting part of the story imo. Its not writers block...I know what comes next, I just cant find the will to do anything here lately. I guess the only thing I can think to blame this on is I recently learned that an injury I recieved will never be fixable, meaning I can not become a cop like I had hoped...that was my dream job since I was a child...I would have been in the academy next year...
Im not going to use 100 pages to describe improbable monsters, so no worries there :D
writing is a fun thing to do for me, I love creating things, heck if you look at most all of my games, you create something somewhere somehow, at least characters are made if not entire worlds and levels, and usually I create in abundance, my mother even commented that she thinks I only get games so that I can design characters and worlds. I believe even if I thought I could contain it in one book, I doubt it would end there for me anyways, knowing myself I would indefinitly continue.

Well, now I'm curious about your writing style ;) How generally has been considered by your readers? (I don't know much about games, I'm stuck on The Sims, my very favourite one)

well the sims is even a decent example of creative work, you build your house, design your people, and all that stuff.
Well as a child I wrote a short series called Are you afraid of monsters? it was based off of digimon/pokemon...dont have a copy, but I know it was well liked, I hand drew all the monsters but never colored them in, people at school loved it...When it comes to anything else I have written, very few people get to see them anymore, my ex-girl had me read the story to her as I got along in it, she still wanted me to even after we broke up, said she loved it, best friend demands the first copy when I publish it lol, he was a bit suprised at my main character as the whole hate everyone and misunderstand everything type of character is not normally my style of character (While the main character has a fairly good reason not to like people, hes still an ***, and still totally doesn't get the people who are trying to help him, even goes so far as to blame one of them for everything bad happening, even without a good reason to.)
I dont think my style really has any original flair to it, I mean if I had to compare it to anything, i'd like to compare it to the Dragonlance series (The best series I have ever read...I think if I ever get compared to Margeret Weiss and Tracy Hickman, I would have a friggin heart attack right on the spot...)

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