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A Work In Progress...

Just a few years ago, right before the recession, I was on top of the world.  I had a high paying, high profile and high pressure career as a Quality and Training Consultant for a top rated insurance conglomerate.  My manic plans included a move to Hartford, CT to work in home office and basically had it in my mind to run the entire company as a five year goal.

However, being a person of natural discontent, I eagerly quit my AWESOME job to brave the world of insurance sales.... BIG MISTAKE.  I really SUCKED at sales, people could smell my fear and my obvious apologetic approach kept me from making a single sale the entire six months I worked for the company.

Fortunately, I was able to find work back in my chosen profession as a nurse case manager for a large hospital system.  However, at the time, my marriage was falling apart, we were financially bankrupt from two unsuccessful career changes (his and mine), we all had chronic medical issues, out the roof co-payments and to top it off our son was admitted into and inpatient psych hospital for 4 months.  I lost that job on top of everything else going on in my life.

My world was spiraling out of control and I couldn't help but lay on the floor in fetal position asking God - 'WHERE ARE YOU?" - LITERALLY.

I was in a place of loneliness and isolation, finding myself in mid-life asking, "Is this it?"  and came to a conscious attitude that - HECK NO!  I want to live again.

What happened to that guitar playing, singing, tree hugging, artist hippie girl of my youth?  I had become a frumpy, depressed, Xanax chomping middle aged drone of a housewife and simply had to reclaim my life.  Damn the consequences.

Now, I'm writing again, continuing to take photographs and fulfilling my creative desires in new and different ways.  And like any masterful piece of art, the finished product has yet to reveal itself, but at least I'm painting the picture.

 

 

 

DrewBerry DrewBerry 46-50, F 63 Responses Sep 26, 2009

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Just don't give up! >_o

The social rat race takes the dreamer out of us all. We all can take a lesson from you, what is life really if you forget who you are in it? Thanks for the experience!

We all have to start over from time to time. I feel like I never really got my start and I'm still starting from scratch. It's ok, though... You know the people who have given up and given in to their circumstances. That is not who anybody wants to be. Struggle, move forward... at least you're getting somewhere!

Precisely ~ never lose hope. EVERYDAY is a NEW BEGINNING.. Like DORY in FINDING NEMO " JUST KEEP SWIMMING".. :)

He is doing well. Thanks for asking K~

Good show! you will come up trumps. by the way, how is your son? is he all right; I hope he is in safe hands.

Took the same road, sold my soul for the all mighty dollar then doubted if it was all worth it. I think it's called work life balance, if you lose your creative spark, you lose your mind.... of course, there are some people who have no idea what that means, and they're the corporate drones who have no soul (but we don't talk a about them).

Aw Amb ~ no more than anyone else here pouring out their hearts and soul.... It's good to read these old stories though as see when life has taken me these past few years.<br />
<br />
Bless xxxx

Drew. You are one honest soul! I'm impressed! It takes courage to expose oneself like that......I'm taking notes! .........Great stuff!......Very cool! You're to be commended......you must have many friends!<br />
All my best to ya!

Thank you Sinofile - that is sage advice. Made my day!<br />
:)

thanks Number Nine!

Kudos!

Thanks for the book / movie recommendation OneandOne... I appreaciate the read and encouragement.<br />
<br />
:)

If you haven't read Eat, Pray & Love, check it out.....the movie is coming this summer with Julia Roberts plays Elizabeth. I'm leaving the faith of choice out of the equation at the moment, not wanting to ruin it for you, but her story of soul searching as she was falling apart and found herself again was inspiring......I see yours has somewhat similar elements.....I enjoyed the book, nonetheless and have become a fan ... as I like her writing style. Writing, painting or cooking are forms of arts and can be soul soothing tools. Bravo to you!

You are SO RIGHT Smugit!!! Excercise is well known to fight off the blues.<br />
<br />
Finally, Sping has sprung here in Tennessee and we hope to hit the river on a canoe trip this weekend! I can't wait.

You know what will cheer you up and get you out and might even make you smile, walking you should walk more often like say a little dog sitting around in a chair maybe just for good company and a way to get out and have a good time, sound like fun? lol

Ah MtnMig - You have your own inspiring story of survival. You're determination will carry you well beyond -personal expectations and I'm sure you will find your place. I'm not exactly proud of the path that has brought me here today, but I am thankful I am here relatively intact. Honestly, I don't know what else I could have done other than check myself into the state run mental hospital up the road, but eventually, we all have to face our lives and deal with those realities that plague us all. <br />
<br />
You have my thoughts and prayers MM! Hang tough!

Inspiring Drew you are clearly a wonderful person and I am glad that you rose above all this. Thank you for sharing<br />
<br />
I am working right now to rise from the ashes. 10 years ago a brain injury nearly ended everything I worked for in a most cruel way. It left my intellect unaffected but screwed up my short-term memory. I wished that I had just died instead. My dreams of becoming a scientist seemed dead and the beautiful woman that I adored divorced me. I left my beloved Montana with all my belongings in an old Volvo and a few hundred dollars in my wallet. <br />
<br />
I’m learning to live with my less capable brain as best as I can and I am now working on completing a Ph.D. in biology. If I manage to publish my research this year I may still find my place in the sciences. I continue to hold on to hope, it is all that I have.

True that AmERICA. I will remember indeed next time I get lost... and it will happen again; a part of the refining process we all must endure to become whom we are supposed to be.<br />
<br />
ooh deep. <br />
<br />
thanks E.

Wow! Thanks for posting. <br />
I know exactly how you feel. <br />
But here is what I say when you sometimes "lose" yourself: <br />
"I’ve lost myself again. It seems I periodically do this. I almost have to lose myself in order to refind myself again."<br />
<br />
Just remember that when you are wondering what happened to that "guitar playing, singing, tree hugging, artist hippie girl of my youth".

and love to you angel.<br />
<br />
b

BCJ - You are such a faithful friend and so encouraging.<br />
<br />
I just started a new position doing my old job of Quality and Training. The people I work with are like family; we literally sit around the kitchen table and eat lunch like the Waltons. It feels like home - at last<br />
<br />
It's funny how good things can come from adversity. <br />
<br />
~ Here to happier times ~<br />
<br />
((((((((( BIG HUG MY FRIEND )))))))

my angel. you remain in my prayers. God was there when you asked. <br />
<br />
love<br />
b

Yeah GM - this is true. I'm not out of the rough water yet, but it's no longer a hurricane at least.<br />
<br />
Thanks for the read and encouraging comment.<br />
<br />
:)

I am relieved by that too Blue. LOL

Have no fear. Obama is here. OMG<br />
Sorry, couldn't help myself.

I really doubt I'll make it to prime minister of my own household restec, but the thought is nice nonetheless. We do just keep on keeping on - it's all we can do sometimes. I like the thought; Churchhill has always been a hero of mine and it's comforting to know it's possible to rise to the top inspite of our demons!<br />
<br />
Mother - thanks for your encouragement, as always.<br />
<br />
:)

Good for you.

I guess that everyone was thinking it, and some actually wrote it : good on you, Drew! Churchill called it KBO (Keep B... On) when trying to cope with his "black dog", his depressions. Keep going onwards, Drew, because it's always worth it. Perhaps you'll become a next prime minister of Brittain in your sixties.

Thanks Napoleon - I'll remember that. :)

Good for you! I think there are a lot of us in the same kind of situation,and even if we haven't quite figured out how to make money by being creative, we are reclaiming our souls. Keep it up.