So i think i have committed a big mistake, i once had hope that expressing my feelings and thoughts to the people around me (my parents, Family mostly) would make an improvement in how i am feeling. But I soon realized that people are even dumber/blind as they seem to be, when I showed them my texts that I had collected and talked about them, they said that same words, even said that I was mad, and they just tried to convince me that I was wrong and I am a rebellious for no cause. And then nothing changed, they stayed just as static as they were, living their same repetitive and meaningless routine. I just cannot understand this, even my dad, who is an intelligent person, because he is a doctor, didn’t understand me. And the ironic way of life is that they are much happier than, me. In fact, ignorance is bliss, and I wish I had never had these ghost thoughts hunting my mind, life could be so much simpler, but the ghosts are there, they have always been.
I even posted this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBX_7xYck0s, talking about society slavery and alienation on my facebook and said that this is the resume of my life, but as expected, nothing changed and they just said that I was having bad thoughts and I should stop having them (wish I could). And as ironic as it seems, my mom said that I was being easily influenced by everything I read or see. I remained mute, but I just cannot believe in what point this have got. It’s ME who am being influenced, manipulated, and alienated? Is it really ME? I think there’s something very wrong with this, I just cannot understand, really.
Well, I guess I will have to live with it for the rest of my life, locking it into my mind and pretending that everything is fine, I am gonna seek for interior peace, that’s the best I can do for my life.
DiegoSMarinho DiegoSMarinho
18-21, M
Aug 21, 2014