At The End Of This Week...

Title pretty much says it all...

Someone I held close now walks with the angels.

I met her on here.

She always acted so strong.

Would scold me for thinking about getting in fights. Tell me it's not worth it.

She always joked around when I was upset about something and would cheer me up...

I thought I knew her some... But in reality I didn't.

Kyu I'm sorry...

That day you wanted to call me, I should've asked to leave class...


When you made the comments you did, I should've found a way to tell your family.
Maybe than they could have stopped you from doing what you did.


I posted a story, telling what happened, telling people what your cousin told me...

I wonder if you could hear our phone conversation.

Your cousin is such a strong woman, you know that?

Even after all she's been through, she was trying to help me get over it.

Gave me some advice I really have taken to heart.

Ironically just a few moments ago my Dad pulled me aside and said something very similar.

I wish I would've noticed...

My Dad made the comment that when someone is serious about taking their own life, the only way to stop them is lock them up....



I know wishing isn't going to get me anywhere.

And right now, I won't lie. I feel broken, when I probably have no right to do so.


My deepest condolences to your family Kyu.

I know it's dumb to act as if you could read this...


Sparton told me about you mentioning to him about hearing wolves...

You never told me.

When ever I asked if you were okay you always said you were.

Most of the time you just said you were tired.

Now I know you used that as an excuse...

I'm not mad at you.... Just myself.

I'm upset when I didn't even know the real you...

I don't have a right to feel like I'm broken yet I do...

I remember telling someone once, God gives us out life and to take it at our own desire is wrong....


Did you ever wonder what would happen to you afterwards....?

I remember when I almost died in 5th grade.

People asked me if I saw Heaven...

I didn't see anything. Was probably too doped up on pain killers to remember if I did.

But you are still one of God's children...

I'm sorry... That's all I can really say. I know it's my fault and I'm sure it took all of your cousins will power not to scream at me over the phone.... I'm no ignorant fool.... I know you did what you did because of the stories you'd hear from me.... Honestly.... Just one day in the future... I know there's no true way to do this... But just... Some how.... I want to do something for your family. I know nothing could make up for what I caused but still... One day I'm going to leave flowers at your grave..

I won't forget you.

deleted deleted
26-30
3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

This is so sad....I am sorry for your loss. But there are things that cannot be changed, she must have loved you, and you love her. That is all we can honestly say in this world. Please, do not leave here, do not leave the friends you have made. Mourn, but do not let it take over your life, I know this very well may be difficult, but...it is how we must live to survive.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but please don't go, I don't know what I would do without you, I know that if you hadn't told me what you did, I would have been a goner long ago, I'm here for you, I don't want you to leave, Vic, I know is selfish from my self, but I don't want to loose contact with you... Kyu, is in a better place now, I'm not the best at consoling, and I know it hurts, she was your mate, and it hurts to the very core, you have every right to feel how you are feeling... Believe me... But please don't go... Don't leave...

You have every right to feel the way you do, now you must take it upon yourself to tryvto keep moving forward, and do great things with your life. She's in a better place, and you need to make her proud until the day you join her.