I Can Totally Relate.

I am a father to a 17 year old son, and 14 and 13 year old girls. I love them with all my heart, and can say that I put my absolute all into being with them and doing fun activities with them, even sometimes at the expense of my own best interests. I would never change a thing, but it always seems like it's never enough. My kids are great and they want their freedom, but for some reason I just can't let go. It's a vicious cycle where I am constantly worrying whether or not I'm not spending enough time with them or smothering them. I volunteer for every school project and field trip just to not " miss out " on anything. Sometimes I even drive by their old elementary school to remember the old times when they were there or hang out at the park where I used to take them when they were little. I am so proud of them and so happy that they're moving on, but I get so sad because I miss them being little. I really don't know what to do to make this feeling go away, but I do know that it does get a little better with time. I can honestly say that I relate to what I'm reading in this group; worrying about the next birthday or the next school year, throwing old clothes or toys away, not being able to find a website for this subject, etc, etc, . All I can say is that we have to be strong for our kids and do the best we can. I look forward to see what others have to say about this in the future.

lashumbah lashumbah
4 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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I know what you mean about visiting the places you used to go with your kids. I find myself doing this all the time. My daughter is 11 now and isn’t into Barbie or Littlest Pet Shop or the younger-age toys anymore, but sometimes when I’m at Wal-Mart I take a little side trip down the ‘pink aisle’ (the girls’ toy aisle) just for the old times. It usually makes me pretty sad, but I do it anyway. Maybe it’s just my attempt to try revisit those times again, if only in a small way. There’s a little park next to a supermarket I frequently go to where I used to bring my daughter to play when she was 2, but they tore down the jungle gym there a couple of years ago that she used to play on. In a weird symbolic way, that sort of seems like a physical reminder to me that her younger years are now gone, just like that jungle gym. I guess when you’ve had a lot of good times with your children, it’s hard to go places without being reminded of when they were little. There are reminders everywhere.

I feel what you are going through. The good news is I made it out, ok. My youngest is in her first year of college and my oldest has graduated college. I look back on those days when I thought I was losing it, and it all still feels real, yet somehow, I got through it and I no longer feel sad.

and I thought I was the only father going through this. I too am struggling big time with my three kids growing up. I sure miss them being little :(

I hope you got through it. I remember how sad I was back then. These days, I feel good, no more sadness, but of course I still miss them being little! Anyway, hope you'remember ok too.

Thank you so much for this! To read your words really gives me hope. My girls are teenagers and don't seem to have any time or interest for me these days. It really hurts sometimes, but people tell me that they "always come back to you". In the meantime I stand at the ready for them when they do need me, and wait for the time when perhaps we will get closer like we used to be when they were little. <br />
I'm sure that you've told your folks what you wrote here, but if you told them again, I bet it would really brighten their day. <br />
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Thank you again for brightening my day !

Thanks! Somehow I moved past this and life is good. I love my kids and they are doing great, and of course somewhere in the back of my head I remember how they were when they were little, but it doesn'the hurt anymore.

I'm 19, and this is my second-year of college away from home. More and more, I miss my childhood and the times I spent with my parents. You worry about your children's birthdays, while I worry about my parents' birthdays. Time is passing so fast, and it scares me too. If my father felt this way about me, I would tell him: Thank you for raising me. I am who I am because you love me. Thank you, and I love you too, daddy.<br />
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I'm sure your children feel the same way.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply. I hope all is well with you and your family. I managed to put the sadness behind me and I feel pretty good now.