Must Fight This Overwhelming Sense Of Sadness
About Three years ago my then youngest started secondary school (she was 11 years old & i already had my eldest there) Well i dont know what happened, it seemed to hit me like a sledgehammer. It felt like a big dark cloud came over me i just couldnt stop crying. Days turned into weeks i just didnt know what was going on. It felt like i was grieving, my little girl was gone, that part of my life was gone and i could never get it back. I always felt sad when thing changed, when they outgrew their clothes started primary etc but nothing on this scale. The following year my husband & i decided to have another baby, i was so elated. We now have a beautiful little girl who will be coming up 2 in November. Although i love her with all my heart i still get those dark feelings, not a strong as they were 3 years ago though but there is something still there. Will i have this now for the rest of my Life? I am trying to fight it each time i feel low and when i dwell on something that makes me feel depressed i try really hard to turn it into something positive. I have joined some exercise classes as i feel this will help not only my mind & health but also gives me an interest that doesn't include the children. Maybe this was part of the problem before, maybe the children were my whole life that i didnt know what to do with myself when i felt they didnt need me anymore. I just hope that sometime in the future i can feel free of this horrible feeling.