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I Am Depressed Over My Kids Growing Up.

I am depressed over my kids growing up. My son starts college at UNC in 4 weeks and I can not stop crying. I cry when I think about it. My kids have been my whole life. I have loved them and done for them and I feel as though I don't really have a life of my own. I have a 13 yo daughter and I miss the little kids stage. Last night we watched movies from when they were little. It made me so happy to see that again but so sad to know its gone and I will never get it back. Christmas was the best when they were little. The excitement and happiness.  I grieve for what my life is not. It has not turned out the way I wanted at all and it makes me sad. I want what I had with my kids when all they wanted was mommy. I am still close to my kids and I am grateful for that. My son and daughter still like to include me in doing things with them and I know I am very lucky to have that. We all just went to see Harry Potter together at Midnight. We always do things like that. I know I still have my daughter but it seems like time every time I say something to her I am getting on her nerves. Girls are so different from boys. Girls are more smart  mouth, and they act like they know it all. I know were close but it is just different from my son.  I am so sad and even she is depressed about my son leaving. Any suggestions plelase??
girlygirl036 girlygirl036 41-45, F 68 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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I am retired and will be 65 in two months. I have three grown sons who all have children and live close by. I don't see them as much as I want because they all have careers and families. Suddenly, tonight, I started tearing up, thinking about how I just need to give them all hugs. I really am miserable. I don't know how to cope with this. I just had to write this to maybe come to grips with reality: they are adults now with their own wives and children. I just need to cry I guess. Men don't cry, right? Wrong. I do. I hope this passes soon.

Hello,

I know how you feel. I am a single parent and raised 3 boys. My oldest is 21 and lives out of town, my middle son, age 18 stays at his dads for the most part due to his job and he leaves for College this fall. My youngest will soon be 17 and he says he is moving out next year. I miss all my boys at home like crazy. We never get to do anything together anymore with me and all my boys together due to them saying "they have better things to do". My life has been my boys and its just killing me the thought of my last son leaving home. I know I am selfish but I want my boys back!...I love my boys alot. It bothers me too, but I know I need to let them go. I know how a mother feels by not wanting the kids to leave and it hurts but its life I guess. I will always be their mom and they will always be my babies.

Wow, doesnt this thing creep up unexpectedly. Typical working dad doing shiftwork, lots of Saturdays and studying for 3 years with my 2 boys and wife (started working 3 days). boys are now 5 (just started school & 3 pre school. I found it hard to connect until about 2yrs old but we get along great. I am sentimental but usually pretty good when dealing with these things. I Did the usual shops, games at home, dvds and day out things with the family but missed alot with work and study. The eldest starting school was the trigger that im missing out on connecting & experiencing these years. Everyone told me it would go quick but each day seemed quite long. Guess what? those days added up. Having this feeling of losing something (my baby boys) I decided to investigate how to fix this.







Finding this site was very helpful. After reading here and other sites i just decided to have a chat to a very good boss that I have. Saturdays are gone, doing one shiftwork per week the rest is daywork, and negotiated days off when necessary. If they couldnt do this I was out. Not sure what I was going to do but thats where im at. Holidays are being booked and am spending more time really experiencing what a family is supposed to be including the arguments which still sometimes occur. We are going to experience more places together and make one on one time with both boys as this is when we really connect. Financially we'll be ok but throwing away the early retirement but 'ya Gotta' do what you gotta' do. Thankfully its not too late to enjoy this time as long as it starts now. I do also realise that that no matter how much time we spend together the slow handing over of the kids into the world will still be difficult but the smile will be bigger as well and hopefully we can get on with our time knowing that we really took advantange of the time together and did our best.



cheers

Sounds like you are appreciating the best moments in life and doing a great job! Savor every minute!

I need this post more than ever i have not slept more than 3 hours a night for 3 months now as i feel im moarning my son we are so close and he is 13 year 9 and i know soon he will pull away ,every happy memory i have is him and i cant breath at the thought of waking up with him not here. my husband and i are not really close and i practically did everything alone and was not aloud another child as husband doesn't want. i feel i sat on my feelings so long and wrapped myself up in my son that now i cant function .

I am so close to my granddaughter but she is 13 now and growing away from me. I am so sad and cry a lot. I still see her but would love the relationship we had when she was younger. I lost both my mother and sister this year and am feeling very sad and lonely.

Kathy354,
I know you are hurting. Sometimes we have to let them go and grow up. I feel for your loss and I urge you to find hobbies, a good girlfriend you can hang out with or try to get your granddaughter to come stay with you a night or two a month. I wish you well and know we are here for you!

Thank you for replying. I appreciate your comments.

Well, when it comes to kids growing up and the way you feel about it, we all know that is empty nest syndrome and it happens with many parents, what I can say is make the best with your kids, even when they grow up, they'll still need you in case they end up in a little fix, you can still see them when ever you get the chance. I'll admit that every parent doesn't want their kids to grow up but every parent knows that one day they have to. Maybe you can still talk to them and visit them when ever you want to, keeping in touch with your kids is something you should do. I would suggest maybe you could have another kid but I don't know if that's a good idea but hopefully, you'll still keep in touch with them.

Thanks your thoughts and Words have really helped me!

Kokidko,
I hope this reply finds you well. Thank you for taking the time to reply. One day at a time was the only way I made it and John my fiance. Please if you still need to vent/talk email me at girlygirl036@aol.com
thats what we are here for to help each other.

I think your advice of one day at a time is the best thing we can do also!

Wow. Its hard to believe I wrote this story two years ago. I also never imagined I would have over 7000 people view it. I am very touched to know that there are so many people that felt the same. I just wanted to update on how I am doing now. My son will be starting his Junior year at UNC (I still cant believe that) then starting grad school (only heaven knows where). I do not cry any more thank goodness but only because I have learned that even though my son is gone he still needs his mother. I thank the lord we have such a close relationship. He calls, text, and skypes as much as he can. I just got back from a three day stay at his apt with him. He even text yells at me if he hasn't heard from me in 3 days. I still have my daughter who will be a sophmore in highschool and I know that will be depression all over again when she is a senior. I now am engaged to a wonderful man and this has TRULY been the best thing for me. Before, I hate to admit, but I made my kids my life and they are. But now I have a bestfriend, and I focus some of my attention on him and not all my attention on my kids. I still miss the little kids and am happy to know they are growing up into responsible adults. They are truly my pride and joy. I know I have done the best I could and they show me by wanting to spend time with me and wanting to talk to me all the time. I am blessed and very thankful. I love them. So I know the feelings you are having because I lived them. I want you to know there is hope for all of you. Try to talk to them as much as they will let you. Try to make a day just for you and them. They may act like its the worst thing possible but my daughter told me she use to enjoy it even though she acted like she didnt. Also take it one day at a time. I know its hard but when you are feeling really down give them a call or text them. You will find that this makes you feel better. Good luck and God Bless. From girlygirl036 a mom that is truly blessed.

awesome..you just gave me the hope I needed. So happy to hear your story. Thank you!!!

My son is a junior, my daughter a freshman and I am feeling all of this big time. Mostly from my son, who IS Jeremy from the comic ***** ZITS! ;) What I have found helps me most, and I'm kind of a 'problem solver' so I won't go into all of the emotions I have had cuz they are exactly what ya'all have been saying! Instead I'll tell you what I'm finding helps. 1. Remember being a kid yourself. you loved your folks but you didn't spend time sitting around, hanging around, doing things with them, and you couldn't wait to go off and be on your own, right?" So, remember that, first off. LET GO, but be there. They still need us, they just don't want to, thats normal and healthy. Secondly, I have found it helpful that my husband and I have gotten involved in some projects that we do together..we bought my old childhood home in Montana, and travel there to work on it and get away just the two of us..something the kids aren't really much of a part of now..it's OUR thing! They have their things, we have ours! 3. HUMOR...use humor instead of guilt, they respond to that! Example, I said to my son..."When we went to prom, we did..." he said "Mom, that was in 'your day'...we don't do it that way anymore". WHile he may be right, it hurt me that he wasn't even willing to entertain the thought that I could have SOME wisdome he didn't have...I wanted to launch into him, but instead said "Yeah, I know, before there was electricity and we had to go to prom in a horse drawn carriage...yeah, you are right, it's totally different now.." and smiled, and left it alone! 4. Let them make lots of small mistakes...they would rather make their own choice and be dead-*** wrong, than have you take over and make it for them, and be right! EVen if you think that you are saving them, you aren't. They WILL resent you, even if you are 'right'....Let them mess up and don't say anything about it!

I'm learning all of these things by trial and error, mostly error...I wish I had do overs in some ways, but I don't, so I'm going from here and doing the best I can. I watch old movies WITH my kids and say :"SEE why I loved you so much! See why this is hard for me!! and smile with them! I want them to see how much they loved me and how much fun we had and how much I taught them and caught them and held them...NOT so they feel indebted to me, but so they understand me better...and what I have experienced. They don't recall this stuff...and even if they did, our kids did not have even remotely the same experiences with US as we had with them!! Know what I mean? While we were adoring and laughing and loving and holding, THEY were striving and getting frustrated and trying to be independent and not even thinking about how much they loved us etc...they have to be focused ON THEMSELVES, and always have been...we just didn't realize it when they were physically and emotionally dependent on us!

When and if my kids have their own kids, and then as those kids grow UP, they will finally maybe say "Wow, mom knew her stuff...she did a good job, she wasn't perfect but she sure loved us and did her best.." that is all I want, really and I dont want them to say it UNTIL they know it deep inside themselves. That will be a long way a way, so I'm going to try not to 'live for that' moment to come...or i'll waste a lot of my life! ;)

KEEP busy moms and dads, you all have so much to offer still...maybe now more than EVER..be a role model for your grown kids and show them how to do it! Save the earth, volunteer if you miss children, get a major cool hobby that they can be proud of you for if that means a lot to you (it does to me, I want my kids to think I'm special, yeah, I do I admit it) But stop living FOR them, and live WITH them, alongside, separate and FIGHT the tempation to follow them around, 'text stalking them' and facebook bombing them. It's so hard, but we have to let them have privacy in order to grow up.

Whew, that was cathartic, thanks to those of you I didn't lose in the first paragraph!

Take care empty nesters!! We are all in this together and we'll be OK~!


OH one more thing...I remember my dad saying to me before he got heart surgery, I was 27, "Honey, I want to tell you right now, that you shouldn't have children... because you NEVER EVER stop worrying about them, or missing them. But then I think the only real joy in my life has been you kids...so, I guess I want you to have them and know that." He was very emotional that day, I understand that now. So many years later. (I'm 50, he is 87).

Enjoy the day. Embrace your tears. Its all good!

I know this is likely an old post. I am a husbhand as well as a Father of two wonderful children ages 10 and 11. One boy one girl. I have been both a best friend and dedicated parent since they where born (as has my wife).

Lately though, I feel their worlds becoming more and more self-centric. They need me less and less. Choose their hanging out with their friends, etc.,. etc.,. I admit I cried about this. It is a natural part of their growing up and has to happen but my soul aches.

Reading your post (and others here) has let me know that I am not crazy, alone with these feelings, or a wimp - LOL. I wanted to reply to you because your advice seems good and I especially like the your take on "letting them make lots of small mistakes". This is an area I struggle with, but have improved in recent months and I hope will help keep them at least comfortablly communicating with me....I have no false hopes about them telling me all their thoughts, but maybe a line of talk will remain open if I learn to back off gracefully during these approaching teen years.

Thanks to all of you who have posted!!

You are amazing! I am 51 with a 20 and 18 year old son and 17 year old daughter and neede to read your advice today especially that I am missing our summers in the past. They were good but it's time to make some new and different summer memories!

I hear you. My kids are grown and because I gave myself so totally to raising them and being there for them, now I have nothing, not even them as they marched off to fulfil their destinies and live their lives. I know I can only blame myself, but it still hurts and I am having a rough time trying to make a life for myself. It seems to have all happened at the same time and so fast--also my husband died in the same time frame, so it feels like I lost a lot.
I dont know what I expected. My own mother was lost after we grewup and the 20 year old me just couldnt understand why she was so upset and not glad to get us out from under her feet! But within a few years she drank herself to death, so I do feel a lot guilt from that too. Knowing what I do now, I think I would have opted out of having kids. I could have done more with my life and not just ended up old used up and redundant.

oh my goodness - the sobbing has been insane. the feeling of my breath being sucked from me - crazy - and the sadness of recalling all the pitter patter - absolutely agonizing. empty rooms - soooo painful! like all the life in the home has been sucked out and it does feel like life is over - or should be over as now it is just torment
struggling to make the mental adjustments and align myself so that i can be my best in this next phase of my life
lucky for me my grandbabies are close by and while I am anxious at times for less noise - as soon as they leave I want them back - need to hold them, love them - i call these withdrawals

It's difficult to let go; I speak from experience. I felt like I was going to die when my 23 year old son moved out of town, and my college senior daughter announced she would be moving upon finding employment. What will I do with myself if I'm not fussing over them (my favorite thing to do)? But then my doctor said, you did a great job raising independent children, do some things for yourself now. Even though my children have been my world, I'm going to try to have some me time for a bit. Good luck and God bless. It will be ok.

I feel your pain. My three kids were spaced out over 13 years. When the first went to college, I still had a five year old at home, so that helped. Now the last one is a sophomore in college and I still cannot believe that we have an empty house. My son and I were very close and we like our daughter-in-law, but it's not the same - I'm not his main "counselor" anymore. We have two beautiful young grandchildren - and that helps a lot to ease the pain of having your children move on from you. My oldest daughter moved away to a big city - but is barely 100 miles away and it's truly fun to go and visit her and do adult things like shop and out to dinner and share a glass of wine. Still, I miss my babies and am grateful that my husband and I were blessed to have them.

i was exactly the same when my children grew up and flew the nest. i now dote on my little grandchildren, and they are just like my own, but you never get over that feeling that you arent needed in the same way as a mother. its horrible, and no one knows unless theyve been there. a loving understanding partner helps.

I know exactly how all of you feel. My son moved to Manhattan 5 years ago and it felt as if my heart was being ripped from my chest. I sat in his room for days and cried. 3 months ago my daughter moved 3 hours away to be with her boyfriend. I miss her so much cause she was and is my best friend. I come home from work to an empty house, try to stay busy until bedtime, cause thats the worst time, as I lay in bed, cry, and remember good times when my kids were home and I was "needed." Im alone now and it is a horrible, empty feeling that just won't go away. I love and miss my kids terribly :(

I understand completely I feel the same way although my boys are 14 and 15 I miss them needed me like they did when they were younger I felt happier I am with you and think bits normal we have been there everything an have basically given our every second to our children we never imagined the day that they would actually be grown and gone but I have heard that they will be back to us sooner than you think then we will have grands. The future is just as important as the past we are still mothers and they love us but yes I am depressed too my 15 year old seems not really unhappy, or distant but not as close to me as I would like I think he's just growing up and needs his space he has a girlfriend and confides in her a lot I think he is a straight a student and fights golden gloves boxing he is 12 and 1 so he is a great kid just always seem to feel as if I get on his nerves and can't make him proud of me no matter what I do......I miss him and he is right here does that make sense? Lol

I know this hasn't been posted on in a while, but I wanted to say something anyway. I'm 14, the youngest person in my high school, nevertheless freshman class. I spend alot of time with my friends, and even more with my family. My mom is always upset about me getting older and having so much to do with my friends, because she remembers when she would go to my school and bring food for everyone to eat and we all had a good time. But, since then, she's had a few strokes, and I really don't want her to go to my school anymore, since sometimes I want to be with friends. I always invite my friends over, since they all would rather come over to my house than vice-versa, because they like my family. But I spend way more time with my mom, and although I sometimes mouth off or hide in my room, we spends alot of time together. So, I'm trying to work a balance of spending time with friends, my dad (Who's divorced), and my emotional mom, plus my grandparents, who we live with. Even though I'm only a freshman, I can't help but wish school would go by slower, so I could spend even more time with mom, dad, and my pals. Do I have a good balance?

Love ur mother and make her feel special no matter what and u will see she won't be so emotional and she will support u spending more time with ur friends just us moms want to feel loves by our children even after you grow up we are still growing too

Dear Randomkid1234,
You have a great balance. That is a great quality especially for a young woman. Your mother is lucky to have such a responsible girl that knows and trys to understand how she feels. Good luck and God bless.

My four children are grown well adjusted adults. My oldest son has three children and my youngest daughter just had her first child. Still to this day, I miss my little children. I'm their Mother but not needed like when they were my babies. I love being a Mom. I miss rocking them on my lap. I miss so many parts of raising them and everyday I wake up with this sad missing in my chest. My house has their echo and so does my heart
The relationship changes as it has to and I have to let them go on to live their lives.
Nothing in this life will ever be as marvelous as being blessed with four incredible children and having the honor to raise them to adulthood. I miss them right now.

exactly how i feel. i have 4 grown up children. and 3 grandchildren. Yes, the special feeling when they cuddle up on your lap is the best feeling in the world.Bless them.

I just found this site after looking online for help in understanding what i am feeling right now. This past weekend my daughter got married, it was a beautiful wedding , she was a glowing bride, we were surrounded by friends and family. It took months to plan. Now its over, everyone has left. Then 3 days ago my son and his wife had our first grandchild. She is healthy, beautiful and amazing. I am blessed with all of this. However, I am in a deep depression. I feel that I am now used up. Useless and with no purpose left. I have suffered from depression for many years, but it was under control. Now, this change and the sudden ending of my mothering years has caused me to sink back inl. I have not job as I got fired in November. All the wedding planning is over, my son has his family. I don't know what my day to day purpose is left in my life. I am so lonely. My husband doesnt understand these feelings.

I understand how you are feeling as I am also grieving the loss of my 4 children who are all now grown with families of their own. I have been questioning where I am suppose to go next. I feel like my life is over at times. Then the grandbabies come over and fill up on hugs and kisses. I am lucky to have a wonderful hubbie but he has trouble understanding me too. I am trying to let go of my kids and let them be the adults that I've raised them to be but I get angry some times. Yeja, I wanted to reply to you also because I too have suffered depression throughout my life off and on. I have recognized that my "empty nest" syndrome is not going away by itself...it comes and goes but my youngest has been gone over a year and I should be on with my life by now. I have decide to get some counseling and I am so glad to have made that decision. My psychologist is an understanding female who is at about the same place in life that I am...her son is in college and she is home with her husband. She provides me with some wonderful insight and suggestions to move past this grieving stage that I am stuck in. You may want to consider seeing someone too. It doesn't have to be a psychologist, there are so many resources out there. Don't let your depression pull you back down into a black hole. We have worked all of our adult lives to raise our children and we owe it to ourselves to now find the enjoyment in life that we so deserve. Hang in there.

They need you more then you know. Just wait til the grand babies come and they will be asking you for help.
Please know that all of us have a purpose and we just need to keep looking for it. Just take it one day at a time.
God Bless

1 More Response

Im a father and have a 16 year old son and a 14 year old daughter , im about to loose them in a custody battle. I will always love my babies their mother just stepped into their lives i feel your pain as parents we try our best and all we can do is remind them that we will always be there when they need us.

The best advice ever. Your children will reach out to you and love you.

Reading all the responses are making me feel like I'm not alone...I'm scared to have this conversaton with someone else but I'm starting to feel a lot of anxiety over my kids growing up. My son is a senior and my daughter is a sophomore. I feel like a part of me is gone now that they are growing up. They both play sports and work weekends part time. I feel great as a single mom for what I have molded them to be as an adult. Its just becoming to be a big fear for me. I thought I would be okay with them growing up but now that reality is settling in I'm not doing well. I hope this gets better with time.

I googled this because I needed to know that I'm not crazy and am not alone. I have a daughter that is a senior in highschool and she is applying for colleges. My son just turned 14 2 days ago. My kids are really great, responsible, well mannered, well adjusted kids. . Don't get me wrong we don't always get along and I have moments when they drive me CRAZY. But I have been a big blubbering, crying hot mess! I feel so sad that they're growing up. I cry everyday. My husband thinks I'm losing my mind. I am proud of them, I'm happy for them but I still miss them being little. I was a young mom. But I worked so hard to be a good mom. I never expected to feel anything like this. I know that my goal as a parent is for them to be independent, educated, responsible citizens. But there is a part of me that wishes they could stay like 7 and 3 years old :'(

Well put I feel the exact same as you do no you are not alone!

As I read this I cry. I lost my Brother Mom and Dad all in two years when my kids were 1 and 3.
I have put my whole life into the kids at that point. My Daughter is a Junior and Son a Freshman in High School and it all happened so quickly. Each day I remember something we used to do that now means nothing and simply off of the Radar altogether. Christmas was a Huge Deal with Santa and Lights on the House etc....now it seems they could care less. Drill Team took over my Daughter and I never get to talk or visit as she is always on the go. My Wife has an in daycare with 4 toddlers which play with the same toys I bought the kids. I hear the same Barney music everyday, yet my kids are in High school...
My Son is into friends and sports so the Daddy thing is gone. I feel like the Breath has been knocked out of me 90% of my time. Medication is worthless and makes it worse. I am truely Blessed I know, yet I can't stop the tears. Yesterday I bought lunch for two and was headed to School to eat with my Son.....I was half way there when I remembered he's in High School now. I am loosing it BIG TIME....I cried for three hours in the parking lot of his old school...!
God has a plan I know, but MAN is this a tough one...!!!
Hang in there guys....I think we can make it.
Sad Dad

I HAVE 3 CHILDREN.. 2 SONS AND A DAUGHTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART THEY ALL LEFT HOME EARLY AFTER STARTING A FAMILY OF THEIR OWN AND NOW I HAVE 5 BEAUTIFUL GRANDAUGHTERS BETWEEN 7 & 2 YEARS OLD :}.. AT THE AGE OF 48.. I WOULD NOT CHANGE THEM FOR THE WORLD!! TWO OF MY CHILDREN ARE MARRIED BUT ALL 3 ARE HAPPY.. I THINK I MUST OF GIVEN THEM THE LOVE TO PASS ON BUT PART OF ME WILL BE MISSING FOREVER!!!

I'm a freshman at a university that's in another State and I miss my parents alo; especially my mom. I see pictures of us when we were little and I too am sad over the fact that my life will never be the same; no more running into my parents room, watching movies with my sister after school or handing out candy with my mom on Halloween. Belive it or not your kids feel the exact same way you do. I fought with my mom so much when I was 13-15 yrs old and now she's my best friend. Your post helped me see that I have to embrace new traditions and have happy memories of the old ones.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I miss my 2 boys who are in freshman in college. Your post helped ease the pain. Thank you again :)

Just wanted to update you all who took the time to read my story. I am doing very well. I survived the first year and he is now on his second. Skyping and texting and visiting has helped. He still stays close with me and I have learned that will never change. I send packages to him and its fun to hear his stories. I have met so many of his friends and they have even friend requested me on FB. I have met someone and we plan on getting married next year. I still have my daughter who is a big help. I know we can make it. It was a one day at a time to get through it. Friends and my daughter were a huge help. This site was a God Send. Thank you all for sharing your stories. It helps to just get it out. Let us continue to help each other. Let us vent and lean on each other and give support and compassion always.. email me at girlygirl036@aol.com I will always lend support to anyone who wants or needs it. God Bless

I am a 16 year old boy. I'm in 11th grade and I was just watching home videos from when I was little with my parents. I miss those times so much and believe me, your kids also do. I wish I could be 2 again, so innocent and excited at the smallest things. all I did all day was do things with my mom and now I am struggling to find things to do with her. Sometimes she gets on my nerves with homework and stuff and I'll back talk her and I'll feel so bad. I always let her know I love her though. I find myself feeling guilty when hanging out with my friends all the time because I just want to be with my parents. the more you think about it, all you want to do is spend time with your family, everything else just seems unimportant. Well, I'm leaving you with this advice: your kids will always love you and from what it's sounds like, your a great mom. They want nothing more than to spend time with you. Your kids are going to college and starting their lives just like you had to once do. The times when they were little was just a stage. Your kids are in a new stage now. Instead of thinking about the "little stage," cherish this time in their lives. When your older and your children are adults, you will be missing this stage in their lives. live, laugh, and love

Dear justlivingmylife11,
Thank you so much for saying I am a good mother. It was much appreciated. You sound live a very wise and mature 16 year old. You are right about nothing else is important then spending time with family. You say you want to spend time with your mom but not sure what you can do. My so and I went to amusement parks,barnes and nobles, went to movies. You mom wont care what you do as long as its time spent with you. Do not beat yourself up about smart mouthing. We know you love us. Thank you again girlygirl

My daughter has just left home and I can't stop crying I feel so lonely I can't bare to go into her empty bedroom I feel like my life has finished! I am happy and proud of her but I miss her so much I don't know what I'm going to do! I want to stop crying but I can't I feel so messed up at the moment I am her father by the way can anybody help me! I feel like someone has ripped my heart out

Dear trueblue3,
I am so sorry for you. I know it is not easy. I know it seems like this is something that mostly only women go through but its not. I am so glad to see that a man can admit it. I know it will be hard for a while. I cried every day for at least six months. You dont say if you are married. If you are this is the time for you and your wife to become closer. Get together with your daughter like I did my son. We set up a skype account and he taught me how to use it. We text and skype and call all the time. It helps me to think that he is just on a trip and I can get in contact with him anytime I want. It has been hard but now its not as bad as it was. This year taking him back to school was not as hard. I only cried when I left this time. lol last time I cried the whole time. Setting up skype and texting really will help you feel like you have not lost them. Please feel free to write on here anytime. I will respond and if it helps you in any way then I am happy for you. Remember you have not lost her as they grow older they realize how important you are to her.
girlygirl

I feel the same way too :( I even bought a book about going through empty nest but its not helping. But somehow now I feel a little better that I share the same feeling with you guys. Thank you for sharing and I pray that you and all the parents going through this difficult stage of parenting , will find peace and strength through love... Love for our children!

My son will be 13 in February and I have been raising him entirely alone as a single Mom since he was 2. I can see he is growing up so fast and I am getting very depressed because in 5 years he will be going to college or something else. Although I have a career I have devoted myself to him and don't really have a personal life anymore. I also had him when I was 43 so I am now older than other Moms with kids my age so I feel out of place. I am getting so anxious and upset anticipating when he moves out in just a few years. Reading other posts has helped me.

Dear Dawn8,
I understand exactly how you feel. I felt the same way. I devoted my life to my kids. I was married and not happy and no longer with him. I know it was very hard the first six months. Like I said, it became easier. I learned how to skype and texted him and called him all the time. He sent me a text yester day "thanks for calling me in like never" lol if we go 2 days its to long for him. If you are truly close to your son he will continue to be close to you no matter how far away you are. I met someone by accident and it has helped alot. I pray that you can find away to stay close and know that this chapeter is not over just a new chapter starting. Good luck and email anytime. I will always anwer.I know this helped me to talk to others. girlygirl

I think all loving parents go through this stage. God Bless you all. Imagine what your children would feel like if, on the other hand, you were the types of parents happy to see them go. With the pain, comes the comfort that your children know you hold them dear to your hearts. And that will last... Forever.

Thank you and God Bless you wantedtoshare