Longing For My Son

I have a son who is an only child. He's 14 and i have all of a sudden become extremely depressed.  I just look at him and it makes me sad. I'm trying to talk to people but they either don't understan or their words aren't comforting.... I'm scared that this feeling wont leave me. It's an awful feeling of sadness, something i've never felt before. I feel like i'm mouring the loss of him but he's still here!!!
bnt18 bnt18
3 Responses Oct 13, 2011

I know exactly how you feel. My son (only child) is 17 years old. He'll be graduating in one year and wants to go travelling or go to a college far away. He's so busy and doesn't really want to hang around Mom and Dad and I feel sad so many times. I love him so much and I just don't know how I am going to be able to have a nice life after he's taken off. I know he'll come back and forth through out his life but that's just the point. It'll be his life and I'll be a small part of it. It's so weird that all a Mother's life we just focus on making our kid's life the most special we can and then when the nest is empty so is the purpose of life, right? What else is there? I dread one year from now. I try not to think about it much but it still creeps into my thoughts. It makes me cry and I miss the little guy that wanted me to play with him or read to him. I miss the boy that felt good with my hug or kiss. Now he won't even let me hug him or help him fix problems. I hate it.

I understand. It is what a counselor told me is "anticipatory grief". It is you experiencing grief ahead of time. All I can say is try to enjoy every day and make every day the best day you can. Make memories so your kids will have great memories and also will want to come home often after they are grown.

Maybe we should private message one another, because I am with you, I have often stared at my 3 little boys and wish I could stop ime and we could live in this moment forever. Mu husband says it's just me afraid of them leaving me when they are men and the feeling of having no purpose. My life are my 3 boys and the thought that one day our home will be empty with just him and I is very sad to me. I think about having grandkids and how that will fill my life, but it isn't the same as having and being with your own children. So bnt18 your not alone, I would like to think that all mothers experience this and fear that moment when you have to see them leave you to make their own lives.