Sad About Kids Growing Up.

My kids, aged 19 to 11, all still live at home but are getting less and less dependant, which is good I know, and spending a lot more time away with friends. I know that this is good, too but I seem to feel sad when they are not home or don't want to come on outings with their father and I. I know that this is normal and natural and healthy and good for them but does anyone else feel sad when this time comes. I mean they all still live here and some will for some time but I feel sad that the era of little kids needing me is over. Do others have this sadness?
mumsie123 mumsie123
46-50, F
5 Responses Apr 28, 2012

Me too. I am 39. My kids are 13 and 10. Since my 13 yr old daughter only now seems to care about friends and I'm suddenly annoying and suck, i have been devastated. Yes, I know it's normal at this age. But I am grieving the loss of my little girl who is now too much like an adult. My son, 10, may soon be this way too. I am scared, so scared. They are all that really matters to me. I cant imagine my life with them out of the house. I miss everything about them being little, already.

BUT, one day I will be wishing for this day, right now....I will be saying that I would give anything to have my 10 and 13 yr old back for one more day. And here I am sad...about them now. I know ppl who would give anything to b able to have kids but they are infertile. People who had children die.....and mine are healthy and here. We are blessed mommies! We are so blessed. Take that thought and hold it in your heart for every time u are sad....

And still, knowing all this, I cry. I cry for what I selfishly miss and for the day they are out and my husband and I look at each other bored and empty. What will i do. Be medicated I suppose.

I wish I could be more sane and rational about this.....I wish I was more independent and social. But I am not. I truly fear my future. Puberty was not the time of self- discovery. My life with grown up kids will be my self-discovery, truly...I will be unwillingly thrust into the pit ....I feel that the best years of my life are over. I really do. And here I sit with two beautiful, healthy kids still at home. I just may be a little crazy.

I really need to get myself together....and find a way. Unfortunately, I don't always love hanging out with tends to drain me or that would help.

Good luck one ever told me or showed me....that this could happen.

We must all remember how blessed we are and cherish this....and b happy instead of sad ...when so many couples can only dream of a child, or feeling a baby grow inside of them, or feeling the unconditional love that our children will always have for us, whether they are young or old....we have that.

Love and light to all of you.......

Hi I just joined in. I feel the same way. My oldest son is going to be 16 in oct and my daughter is 12. I can't sleep because he is about to go on a trip with his church youth group for 2 nights and 3 days. He is very excited about it but I"m so sad. He spends less and less time with us. I know that he loves us but time is flying too fast. I feel syupid crying but I really can't help it. My tears just flow. I know this is the circle of life but it hurts so demm much ; (. As time passes by he is going to have more responsabilities, more friends more places to go and so on. I feel that I"m being selfish, but at the same time I let him do his things. Regardless if that minds time away from me. He is a good kid I believe that we have thought him right. I'm proud of him. I know I have to let him grow up but at the same time I don't want him to grow up.

I feel the same way!!! I feel so sad. My son is 14 and my daughter is 10 and I miss them wanting to watch movies together as a family and play games like we used to. We are lucky if we can get our son to sit in the same room with us for more then 15 minutes and I know it's only a matter of time before my daughter will be the same way. I am already feeling sad thinking about my son going to college in 4 years. Now I know why everyone used to say enjoy them while they are young. I know it is normal for my son not to want to hang out with his parents, but it just seemed like it happend so suddenly. I really miss having little ones. I don't know how I will cope when they move out.

I am going through those same feelings. I have 2 kids. My daughter is 17 a Senior in high school :( My son is 14, a Freshman in High School. I always feel very sad and lonely when school starts back after summer break, but usually I'm back in the groove by Labor Day. NOT this year!!!! I have cried everyday since school started back. Just the thoughts of my daughter graduating High School... and my son starting high school has really got the best of my heart this year. <br />
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I do know.. this is all part of life... BUT at the same time, I can NOT imagine life without them living at home. We are a very close family... we are always together. However... since my daughter is a Senior, she is rarely home... she has her own "Stuff" going on. My son is playing on the high school football team... which is good in some ways, and NOT so good in others. Some of those BOYS, are awful!! The upper class man are terrible role models. <br />
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I feel selfish at times because I want them home with me... doing all the things we use to do.I just do not believe I will ever get use to all of this :(

I just found your post and all year I've felt this way ( mine are 16,14, and 10). I hope your year got better. If you found any way to make this change bearable, please share it with me. I feel like it's getting worse every day as my babies get older. Thank you.

Oh my God, yes!!!! Mine are 16 and 19. The 19 year old has had a difficult time socially and now finally has a gf!!! I know it's great, I know this is the way it's supposed to be but I miss them. I miss going places with them. God I really do. I guess I am supposed to find things to do without them but I walk around without them and feel so sad for them. I must be a big crybaby.