I sit here with tears splashing like mad down my cheeks and onto the desk. My only daughter is going into her Senior year of high school, and I've been mourning the loss of my little girl for far too long already. Even though I have chanted to myself over the years that all I want is to raise an independent young woman and that I would be grateful for the time I would get to spend with her, I feel like I was full of complete BS not knowing just how impossible it would be when the time came. I am an absolute raving mess. My daughter is my first real experience with unconditional love, and as she has gradually (and suddenly, at times) pulled away from my side, I have felt the crushing loss of a time gone by. My heart doesn't want to let go no matter how hard my mind tries to convince it to do so. The feelings of abandonment are all too familiar from other experiences in my life, and while I recognize it's not the same, it feels just as devastating, if not more. For with my daughter, I gave her my soul and she gave me hers for so so many years.

I think I'm going to start a group just for moms and dads like me who need to know they aren't alone.
CoachFreckles CoachFreckles
41-45, F
3 Responses Jun 15, 2015

we came to this country when my little son was 6. I was absolutely happy to think that there are so many opportunity for him in here... we had so many problems with the oldest son, who was 18 that time. so we moved him away from those problems to a new life. it helped, but took year and years. now he is very successful high paid manager i a big company. my youngest now 19 and he decided to move away and live with his friends renting a house. i am so upset about his decision, because i know he is going to drop off the college, he said he does not want to do what we think will be good for him. he hates college. he does not see any points to get a college degree. for me it is a catastrophic!!! and i am sitting now and crying all the time when i see his picture, or find his item in his room ( he hasn't completely moved out). i have no idea how to turn myself to the opposite side and be more positive about the fact he is not home anymore...

You should I'd join... My daughter is also going into her senior year and her brother left over a year ago. The sense of loss is insane... ๐Ÿ’ž๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Apryle left the nest in 97. Now I actually have 3 grand daughters and one is a teenager! Where did the time go.??

Sending you a virtual hug right now... and for whenever you need it.

Awww. Thanks!

Sending you a virtual hug!

It is so hard.. The day of my sons graduation, obviously I went, but as soon as he walked across the stage I lost it. I was sobbing... I literally had to leave, go home, put my big girl panties on and get it together. It was the most proud, and such a tremendously painful experience... I hope this coming school year I won't do that again... But I can't make that promise๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜ฉ

2 More Responses

Being a parent hurts sometimes. I understand. Normally, as I'm sure you know, the rewards far outweigh the heartache...Just wait till you're suddenly a grandmother, if that is in the works... I hope you make an active group