Having children is a time machine going one way. You get to witness your world change before your eyes, the beauty of that and the infinite sadness because those times will never come back. You can't make a teenager a child again. My daughter is going to high school. How did that happen? One day at a time. She is doing what she must, and what is natural. The sadness that hits me and wants the child back is so strong at times. Parenting seems like the sickest trick in the book. It's glazed over with pithy talk of an "empty nest" and all that but it actually mostly a brutal silence. The worry and heartbreak never end because every time she is out of the house there can be a chance for harm. It is all out of my control. I actually would say I'm sad because it is a small death, a natural death. She changes and our relationship changes but I'm lucky I have an amazing daughter. Still, the truth-run-if you are thinking of having a baby-because they just grow up to leave you. (after thousands spent, first braces, then car insurance, then college and I guess they come back when they can't get a job and you still support them-wait why am I sad?)
Jenny2019 Jenny2019
36-40, F
Jan 6, 2016