I have one child who has left for college (20) and one who lives with his father (17). The 17 year old is busy with his friends and I see him a couple times of week. I am way down on the totem poll for interaction. My 20 year old is doing great in college and I am very thankful she is striking out on her own with an independent mindset. However, I feel so bad inside, so depressed and paralyzed to develop a new life. When I remarried, my children became my number one priority. I did not want to deal with the guilt, so I gave them every bit of attention I could. There are areas in their rooms and in the attic that need to be organized. I am in such pain when I am boxing their awards and souvenirs. Worst of all, I cannot even dare to sort through their baby pictures. I am a crying mess, and the guilt about divorcing their father comes right back up again. The depression is so bad, and I feel like there is nothing to look forward to. My marriage is empty and I am so lonely.

When I found this site, I felt a real connection to others who are feeling the same way. I am going to keep up with the comments to see hope and improvement for all of us who is going through this. I am also going to be getting intense therapy to work through my sadness and create a future life.
pennyjkb pennyjkb
51-55, F
Mar 13, 2016