Ed

My family have always told me i was small. After being pregnant and loosing my baby after 22weeks i realised i was fat, i was 126 pounds. That was my biggest id ever been! Ive now got an eatin disorder and i dont control my weight now the voices do. Its making me get smaller by time. Im no 114pounds and want to become 100pounds by the end of May 10. My weight has cuased alot for me i also self harm becuase of this. :( 

DannieLouise DannieLouise
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 21, 2010

Dannie,<br />
I am sorry for the lose of your baby, that must have been very difficult to endure. I had an eating disorder when I was younger, I'm 25 now. The hardest thing to do was stop weighing myself. Break your scale hun. You heard me, take a hammer and bash that sucker open. Its chained to you now not letting you live your life. You deserve to be loved and to love yourself. Having an eating disorder is like slowly drinking poision every day. You are slowly killing yourself and you do not deserve to go through this kind of pain. If its control you want like I did, then control something positive in your life. I was anorexic due to being molested as a child. No one helped me. But instead of starving myself now, I only have positive people in my life. I do things that make me happy: painting, volunteering, reading, singing, going for a hike and picnic with friends. You know why you are doing this to yourself as you are aware you're doing it. So change the reason why your doing it into something positive. You are beautiful, if you don't feel that you are then start small by doing things that give you a rush. You are alive! Its a wonderful thing to be alive. Trust me, you are lucky to be alive and loved by your family. You are not alone, there thousands out there like us that struggle with this, lean on others for support.

i can do this alone, i need to get to my goal weight which has dropped to 90lbs now, then maybe i can tell them. but i need to get there first, thank you for ur advice x

I know how serious they are, ive tried help before and it was too hard for me, my cousin wants me to try and recover jus an hard time atm. I over dossed on monday. And i need to go hospital about that but i cant im too scared i havent told my parents so i will have to go on my own x