Double The Pain

I had a crush that was my really good friend. He was the only one that would stand up for me, help me and I trusted him the most. I was really lost on what to do, as I wanted to confess to him, to know if he reciprocated my feelings, but I didn't want to risk jeopardising our friendship.

So, I confided in a close friend and asked her what I should do. She urged me to confess to him. I was at first reluctant, but she assured me that he showed signs he liked me. She was one of his friends too, so I trusted her opinion blindly and went ahead with it.

He rejected me. At first, it was okay. It was a bit awkward, but he assured me that he wouldn't hate me just because I liked him. However, after a few weeks things started to go down the slope. He stopped talking to me, glared at me and I was baffled why he was behaving like this.

He sent me a lot of messages insulting me, telling me to stop being creepy and staring at him, and that he hated me. I didn't know what to do, because I definitely didn't stare at him or anything. Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I texted back and asked him why he thought I stared at him.

He said that he felt that I was, so he asked the friend I confided in to make sure, and she told him that I did stare at him. It was just.. a punch in the gut. So many years of friendship, destroyed by a trusted friend. It's not just this incident either. I also had one other close friend who overheard their conversations and told me.

These three are my only friends, and I've always had problems making friends, and everyday I have to look at her face, smile and talk with her and pretend I don't know what she's done. The people in my class are now also gossiping a lot and asking a lot of frustrating questions because there was he made a scene and yelled at me in front of them.

I have nobody to talk to about this, because I'm only 15 and my parents would balk if I told them this. I'm just thankful that I can, at least, write this out and vent my feelings.
Grapewine Grapewine
13-15, F
1 Response Nov 27, 2012

@Grapevine Dont worry too much about this. You are young and have sooo much life ahead of you. trust me you will bounce back. Its better to be rejected at a young age than when you get older as I am. He's just being a teenager. Dont take it personal because he doesnt feel the same way. Be thankful he didnt pretend to like you just to use you. There are a lot of creeps like that out there. Hold your head up. Be yourself, dont change for anyone. As far as your friend, you have to learn that people will fail you all the time, even loved ones. So take that as a lesson not to trust so much. Forgive her. Now you know she is one who cant be trusted.

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to let go and forgive, but it's really hard. Every time I see her, it just brings up bitter feelings that I can't dispel.