My Life Story3

Hey..Well i really need someone but i guess i have no one..Why? because i drove all my friends away. And the ones i didnt either moved away. After High school everything changes no lie ;c I'm barly 18 and i'm so sad/depressed with life and that "special person" well i thought he was until now that its hitting me bad:'/ Since i was a sophmore, when i sadly met him & wished i would have just looked the other way! Those years of High school i spend being stuck liking him till now i realize how much he made me waste my time on him & all those tears every night. I would always cry my self to sleep. You know whats the sadest part of all this? That he never made me his official girl /. i always asked myself Why? But never really found an answer. Because honestly i'm not an ugly girl, well i get compliments from guys telling me i'm beautiful,pretty,cute & i had guys trying to date me but nope i would always just think about him & not give them a chance! I just couldnt let him go. I think it was because i got so used to him that i was afraid to live without him. Its like someone being afraid of no breathing again or not waking up the next morning. Thats how i felt. Yeah its sad huh? But thats how i felt. Eveytime i would see him with someone new i would say, "**** Him! I'm done" & i would delete his number & eveything that reminded me of him & try moving on. But than some how he would hit me up again & there i go falling for him again uhh:/ all that hard work for nothing! It was like with just one smile he would make me forget about how much pain he would cause me at times. We would hangout sometimes & always text. He would text me everday first. Honestly i never texted him first maybe 3-5 times since we meet. What made me happy was that we went to my Graduation(: That was the best day but i didnt like what i was feeling for the first time..Which was Nothing! i pushed him away. IDK why i did that & that was the last day we hanged for my graduation. I guess i was scared of my new feelings that i knew i Could live without him! But i well never forget Febuary 9 2012 when i was all his & no one else. It was a Perfect♥ day cause after he took me out to eat, our first time eating in public. He stopped talking to me for a month! My world went crushing3 after giving him my all. Than a month later went by & he started talking to me i was kinda happy till we kicked it when i graduated. But now that i see him with someone else it still hurts but not as how it use to. Specially because i found out he told all his homies about us & what we've done thats when i hated him but i liked him, its Complicated! Specially if we have the same homies i hangout with the same people he does too! This past 6months i been trying to avoid him but its hard seeing him with someone else. I Need advice & help moving on..i try i swear.
Makeuplove24 Makeuplove24
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

From what little detail you give I would haggard a guess that he may be a narcissist. If you don't know what that is, look it up, it might save you alot more pain in the future :) Good luck! You sound like a sweet girl.

Lol Thanks! & i kno now a days guys all they think about is themselfs /. & hope i get good luck soon(:

Yea i suppose yur right, i kno i probably do deserve someone better but the thing is my heart doesnt wanna do better than that:/ But i well try really hard now! Specially since i'm avoiding him all the time. Lol thanks tho i appreciate it & i sure well meet new people(:

It sounds like he is treating you as the girl he hangs out with while he is out looking for a new relationship.You deserve someone better. If he loved you, he wouldn't treat you like this. Go out and meet people. You will meet that truly special someone someday.